- Jun 20, 2004
- 28
- 0
YOu are welcome to your opinion-- and I've said a million times it isn;t the end all or be all, just one of MY requirements.Sekhemu said:Thanks for the comment. I think financial compatabilty is an issue for those who expect have unrealistic expectations on the other person, and/or make money the end all be all to the relationship.
Right and wrong are relative and what is a concern of yours may not be for me and vice versaSekhemu said:It's unfortunate that so many of our people spend as much time as we do concerned with money for the wrong reasons.
Let me tell you from my experience nothing takes the focus off of getting to know someone like worrying about bills.Sekhemu said:Particuliarly whena woman expects a man to have money when she meets him, that takes the focus off of getting to know who this person really is.
For a person without a generous dispostion, the act of giving will always demand an equal gift in return. The many men with extra finances that I've dated don't have a problem sharing-- esp for something as simple as a date-- I don't ask for extravagant gifts, in fact I rarely ask for anything. A guy without a genereous heart will feel that he's lost something and wants something in return. A woman who isn't really interested in someone will feel that her sex or attention warrants $$. she isn't giving that because she honestly enjoys spending time with the man.Sekhemu said:Men are reading the wrong messages when a woman expects the man to pay for the date, to men it means that the woman owes him something. After a few dates he believes the woman owes him sex. This is the message that is coming across. Naturally when the woman says no, it doesn't mean sex, that's when the kaakaa hits the fan.
Well I certainly am not that kind of woman, Any guy I've dated long term has been a "head of the household" kind of guy. We make decisions together, but he has the final say (on most issues) of course there has been a lot of leeway because I wasn't actually married any of these guys, but if I don't see that quality in a man he isn't for me--Not that there is anything wrong with him-it's just not my cup of tea.Sekhemu said:I think some women want chivalry but also want to wear the pants at the same time. Women like this want to be taken care of and be treated equal to the man at the same time.
I take very good care of myself , and I believe thats a major reason men are attracted to me. It isn't an issue of what I wouldn't do for myself, but of dividing some of the responsibilities in a home to economize on time and energy. No one is conpletely independent, WE all need love, security, and to feel needed among other things. Every one has different needs, desires and abilities , which is why we all date different kinds of people. The men I date like me, they tend to not enjoy dating women with major 50-70 hour a week careers.Sekhemu said:This is why I say you can't want independence and chivalry simultaneously. Because this sends men the wrong message.
True independence means that you can take care of yourself with our without a man. And you don't expect a man to do anything for you that you wouldn't do yourself.
I don't like to date men who can't provide me with stability and security.
Just before he dates me! --Now I've had a few flings w/ men who didn't meet all my standards, and I've been a fling for a few guys who felt I didn't posess all the qualities they wanted, but for a serious relationship, there are certain things I insist upon.Sekhemu said:You haven't answered my question about whether a man has to have a "decent" income before he dates?
I don't have a family now and I came into this world with enough money to see me through as long as I act responsibly. I wouldn't have any children until my family situation was in place......for me thats a strong provider as a husband who can protect, guide and care for his family...............................as a side note I'm generally attracted to older men 20+ years. so they are at the age where their career and investments are stable.-- I'm not talking feeble old men, but the sexy muscular late 40's- mid 50's guys.Sekhemu said:Also I can relate to you being family oriented. But do you think it would be wiser if you had enough money put away to do the things you mentioned like retiring early etc, before you get serious with a man?