Black Relationships : Who should pay for the date? The man or the woman?

[Sekhemu]

When will the bashing of sisas end?

Always whenever someone comes here making little subtle remarks that put the brothas down I have sided with you in condemning such under handed emasculations. But y'all put sistas down without even the slightest effort to be subtle about it.

Cat's come on here talking about they can't find a good Black woman and Black women have nothing to offer and they don't want to get married becausue we're just not worth it etc etc and none of the brothas here raises so much as a peep. If anything y'all rally to his side talking about you going to the Caribbeans or wherever to find a woman.

Don't you know I am a woman? Don't you know I'm Black? Don't call me queen and tell me I'm a credit to my sex.

This is getting tired. We all have to come together better than this. Maybe both the brothas and the sistas are right that we are just screwed up and lost as a race. But as screwed up and lost as we may be let's be together about it okay.

Hotep

I agree with you, but what brothas are you refering to when you say "y'all" ?

 

[$$RICH$$]

UMMMMM HELLO !!!!!

this about who should pay for the first date not a bebate of who
bashing who , family matters , children those things has nothing
to do with the question asked can we stay focus on the question
at hand here some of y'all twisting the thread .

Peace family bruthas & sistas ................................................

it's more so fifty / fifty today but many do live by the old way
and on that first date i still say a man should pay why not !
and women who is so independent should not be so fast to
jump but allow that man to be what he is as a man .

it also nice sometime that a man be treated out to dinner
and she pay but all this goes with the building of a relationship
not often do you really see a first date paid by a woman , trust
me when you do it will be his last date with her , we have been
viewed as cheap men today to the golden days of dating ,there
is some women who will pay for the date out but they are few ..

 

[river]

I agree with you, but what brothas are you refering to when you say "y'all" ?

You asking me to drop names? Those who have not participated in such discussions know that they have not. But I have not seen any brother here object to such discussions. Brother Sam has defended me personally on many occassions. But no brotha objects when Black women in general are castigated.

 

[kente417mojo]

*************************

I never connected money and "being on my level" in any post. I'm not materialistic. Maybe you have confused me with other women on the board.

There is absolutely no excuse for ANYONE having children and not taking care of them. I never mentioned anything about a woman paying her own bills. You have really confused me with someone else. I think I said clearly yesterday in a post that I don't depend on a man for ANYTHING. That's the way I was raised and that was very good rearing.

I am not confusing you with anyone else. I have read your posts and it seems that you hold men up to a different standard of responsibility (in a relationship) than you do women. You said "This is absolutely my biggest pet peeve--men who don't financially provide for their children. Maybe he can't be there emotionally for them because of any number of reasons, but who does he expect to financially take care of his seed?". I have said this before, women look for men first and foremost as ATM machines when it comes to children. I also think most women feel the same way regarding marriage. Financial and emotional responsibility is needed by men, not just checks written out to the child's mother. Not doing one, is no more acceptable than the other.

You also said, "I've offered to pay for the meal or movie on several occasions, but I've only done it once and was happy to do it since I didn't want to see the guy again". This is sad. Why do you see it fit to pay only to get rid of a man, but never to show appreciation for him and his generosity. Men do not want to pay for every meal. Men would love if women would get off of their high-horses and show some appreciation. Something as small as picking up a $30.00 bill at breakfast would do wonders, but most women are not willing to extend that hand. It's not soley that men want to save money, it's a symbol of appreciation. You women always expect men to show you how much you bring to their lives, but why are women so many women unwilling to do the same? I know men who are married, and never feel appreciated. They provide, the take care of the kids and they take care of their wives, but they all have the same complaints regarding not being appreciated. And this (for the 1000th time) is not coming from my bad experiences with women. I have not had that many bad experiences, but I know a lot of "good" men that do and are having a hard time being "good" men.


I'll also admit, I am one who speaks on women from what I see, and if that's negative then so be it. I never try and make it seem like black men are not part of the problem, but I will not sugar-coat problems when it comes to black women just because they don't want to come to grips with some of the trifflin things they do.

 

[$$RICH$$]

river you wrong on that one ! ...... y'all stay focus on the question or start a
new thread this how we get all twisted from what is asked or relating too....