Black Relationships : Who should pay for the date? The man or the woman?

[panafrica]

Brothers this is something that we have all had to deal with at one time or another. Much of the rules of dating were created at a time when men made all the money, and women didn't work. In today's times when a woman is just as likely to make as much if not more than a man.

Are the rules of dating still the same? Is a man required to pay for a date if a woman asks him out? Should a man always pay for the 1st date? If you have paid for the last 7 outings...do you expect a woman to treat you sometime? Brothers let me know what you think.

 

[Sekhemu]

Brothers this is something that we have all had to deal with at one time or another. Much of the rules of <A TITLE="Click for more information about dating" STYLE="text-decoration: none; border-bottom: medium solid green;" HREF="http://search.targetwords.com/u.search?x=5977|1||||dating|AA1VDw">dating</A> were created at a time when men made all the money, and women didn't work. In today's times when a woman is just as likely to make as much if not more than a man.

Are the rules of dating still the same? Is a man required to pay for a date if a woman asks him out? Should a man always pay for the 1st date? If you have paid for the last 7 outings...do you expect a woman to treat you sometime? Brothers let me know what you think.

I believe whoever ask the other person out should pay for the date, and take it from there

 

[queentswana]

Well I'm certainly not a man, but I will give my input. And this is just my opinion and need I say I live by this as well.
First of all, communication is very important, if I ever (and I never) ask a man out to dinner, whoever pays depends on:
1. who have the money,
2. who or which one can afford to buy at the time,
3. depends on what job he/she has that will allow them to eat out,
and if the relationship turns into more,...it really dosen't matter who pays. First of all, I seldom eat out, but when I do, if I ask my mate/friend/husband or whatever we chose to call them, out for dinner, then I have no problem at all paying.

 

[panafrica]

This sounds fair to me Queentswana....I would have no problem with this.

On this issue, I remember this one lady I was friends with. She would always ask me out to movies & events that I was not even interested in...yet she would always expect me to pay (because I was a man). Now I was a college student back then, and was trying to pay my way through. This woman knew this, but still felt that I should pay because I was a man, and had a more prestigious job (in title only). Well one day I did her taxes for her....she made more money than I did!! After that I insisted that she start paying for more of our outings.....her refusal was a major reason I ended our friendship (I had no intention of being used). On the other side, she felt I was wrong, and could not understand why I cut her out of my life.

 

[ZeroGravity]

This sounds fair to me Queentswana....I would have no problem with this.

On this issue, I remember this one lady I was friends with. She would always ask me out to movies & events that I was not even interested in...yet she would always expect me to pay (because I was a man). Now I was a college student back then, and was trying to pay my way through. This woman knew this, but still felt that I should pay because I was a man, and had a more prestigious job (in title only). Well one day I did her taxes for her....she made more money than I did!! After that I insisted that she start paying for more of our outings.....her refusal was a major reason I ended our friendship (I had no intention of being used). On the other side, she felt I was wrong, and could not understand why I cut her out of my life.

Panafrica, what would you have done if you hadn't found out how much money she made? lol How did you feel about paying before the "revealing"?

A few years back, I would not have given it a second thought in paying for entertainment no matter who asked first, but the dynamics of relationships have changed dramatically and now, even though it's difficult sometimes, I don't have a problem anymore with the lady paying. From talking to other brothers, it's almost expected that the lady should pick up the tab occassionally, so the brothers doesn't feel being used as you mentioned in your post.

I think "pumping" the gas can generate another question along the same vein as the one you asked. LOL! Life is so interesting