Black Women : Who Am I?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by Jaisolovely, May 28, 2008.

  1. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm at the age where I have realized just how much I "do not" know. What direction to take, what am I into without the help of societal norm, all of these teachings on spirituality and what my mother wants. It can be very confusing because I want what I deeply desire. My inner voice speak to me when I allow it to ( my mind wonders alot) and gives me sound advice. Outside forces are always trying to dictate and tell me who I am or who I should be. And to counteract that I feel like rebelling. I do hold back alot, though, including my emotions. Sometimes I want to self destruct but a better part of me speaks (non verbally). Its like something overcomes me allowing to feel that it will be alright. I know I know, I need to listen more to my inner voice. I have to overcome a bad habit of beating myself up (not directing/using that energy correctly and what not).
    When i ask "who am I?" or wow!! Did I ever really sit down to do that? (asking myself):qqb007: To be perfectly honest I feel that I am a lil bit of everything (versatile). I guess it depends on my mood but do I have to be just one thing and what every one expects of me?
    I blame astrology, lol, how am I going to be a leo then virgo rising, and a taurus moon?
    My overall demeanor is prissy but inquisitive with two side dishes of intelligent and shy....."did that make sense?" :angel1:
    :help: :help: :uzi::help: :help: :em0100:

    Sometimes I do not know how to express that externally. Some young people express it through the way they dress/present themselves, any artistic form and etc, but me I'm not sure lol :11200:
    Boy do I sound confused , aye?
    Any who.....

    1. Can any one who has gone thru that stage in their young adult years, relate?
    2. Do any of you have any sound advice? Plz serious comments only gosh!!


    And I leave you with one of my favorite artists, who Rockz!!
    This song explains a lil more to what I am feeling.

    :band:

    http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-dAOVM1C8M
     
  2. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sometimes the world doesnt make sense and all that matters is the universe within me!!
     
  3. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    we've all felt this way..... we all have had to grow up...

    the best advice I can give you is to learn how to balance all of that....

    learn how to tell ur mind what to think and not the other way around...

    you seem down, and being down is ur heart of hearts simply telling you that action is required.......

    what action.... well what do you love????

    once you find urself aside of what other people want u to be then u have something to give.......

    we all have gotten our heart broken, and that is what usually makes a woman feel this way .....

    time heals all wounds and just don't make the same choices again....

    ur not alone in ur emotions .....

    be a master of ur own emotions....

    because they effect ur behavior and vice versa...

    I hope this helps....... because u seem to be headed for that thing they call "depression".....

    I am not a qualified counselor..... but self destruction ain't sounding to right wit me.....

    if u were my lil sister i would give u a great big hug right now and tell u that everything will be ok........ i'd wipe ya tears and tell u not to feel down...

    u may think that it's bad but you'll make it through and there is always someone who has it worse......

    surround urself with positive people cause they will rub off on u...

    love ya!
     
  4. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    To be truthfully honest with you Miss Lady, this has nothing to do with a guy at all. Thank u for the concern I guess. :couple: To make myself clear, my major concern is finding myself. Ya know an identity. Too much I sense what others are thinking and pick up on their thoughts. These thoughts are not mine. Especially the thoughts of me. Around certain people I tense up and put up this wall for secruity. Not really exposing the person that I am and I am like this with those close to me by relation. Yes I do understand that its a part of growing up but it all can be confusing because I am so anxious to find out my purpose for existing. :qqb010: Some of you should know what I am talking about. After waking up and all that you were taught before was challenged and proved to be wrong. All of the sudden the walls come down and truth starts to reveal itself (awareness).
     
  5. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    I didn't mean a guy.....

    meant more like mom dukes.....

    in any event....

    I'm understanding ....

    yes, this happens to many of us... but the thing about it is we can't tell u who u are....

    I wish that it was that simple because I know what ur going through...

    u have to answer the question.. "what do I love"......... what do u love to do? what makes u smile...

    is it writing
    is it children
    is it helping others
    is it building

    once u define what u love to do... u will be able to define who u are...

    remember success is a journey.... so once u reach one goal it's on to the next......

    as far as the 'voices' or 'promtings' or 'callings' or 'self mind conversations' whatever u want to call them........

    may I suggest u review the invocation.. thread... br. meta and br. dark m can better help u there.....

    and just remember is all about u lil sis.... grab the world by the neck say come here and make ur mark on it..........
     
  6. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I never asked any of you to tell me who I am. Of course you can not tell me that, I believe that was a no brainer. Much of the advice I was looking for actually came from the thread Magical enities and thoughtforms. I just wanted, if any one wanted to, to share their experiences of growing up and entering adulthood. Then I added into the mix some what of how I was feeling.
    But I overstand completely because sometimes I can be misunderstood.
     
  7. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    But I do need to write down the things I would like to accomplish. A friend has also mentioned this to me. Just make a list of what I would like to do and accomplish each one, basically just set goals. That makes sense, writing a script for my life to follow. Becoming an author of my story. Once I think about it some where inside I do know this stuff but I forgot because I get so wrapped up into the negative and my emotions. I really need to learn how to control my lower self so that I can achieve enlightenment. That is one of my goals. I dont want to get so comfortable in those negative thoughts to where I dont want to change, ya know.
     
  8. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Psychology

    A new found love of mine, which I did study a "lil "in school.
    I am always researching things when ideas just pop up in my head or some one mentions an idea & etc. For some reason I had thought of looking up information related to how different human personalitie's correlates to the elements (earth, wind, fire etc) and ended up viewing, Personality Psychology. I dont think this has anything to do with what was stated above but it did catch my eye. One concept I am reading now is the "Locus of Control".
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control

    So far I had found some interesting (to me) info. that I want to post! Here are the two "expectany shifts":
    1.typical expectancy shifts, believing that a success or failure would be followed by a similar outcome; and
    2.atypical expectancy shifts, believing that a success or failure would be followed by a dissimilar outcome.


    So how does this relate to me?... Well...

    My frustration came from not being able to control the events that took place or shaped my pov on life. So when something would happen I would expect the outcome of that (situation) to happen again { Typical Expectancy shift}, bc of what I was used to {meaning the negative triumph over the positive}. Therefore, mentally creating unhealthy thoughtform(s) {denial & doubt} which turned into my bad habit.

    "Work in this field led psychologists to suppose that people who were more likely to display typical expectancy shifts were those who more likely to attribute their outcomes to ability, whereas those who displayed atypical expectancy would be more likely to attribute their outcomes to chance. This was interpreted as saying that people could be divided into those who attribute to ability (an internal cause) versus those who attribute to luck (an external cause). However, after 1970, Bernard Weiner pointed out that attributions to ability versus luck also differ in that the former are an attribution to a stable cause, the latter an attribution to an unstable cause."

    - source already posted above:?: :thinking:

    Note: Dont get a headache from this I'm just evaluating myself and it only gives me pleasure to do so on here!!
     
  9. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    ummmmm

    I guess I thought ur asking "who am I".. ?

    because that is what u titled the thread...

    the reason why I suggested the invocation thread is because I think I remember reading some protection rituals there..... where maybe u can neutralize the negative thoughts u ponder...

    until u learn to control that it's not going to get better...

    making a list is a great idea.........

    I do that sometimes because I alway want to do so much that I overwhelm myself...... but recently, I decided to get at the top three goals.......

    but along with that I had to change my eating habits... sleepin habits... gossip habits.... cuss out habits.... dating habits... friendship habits.... etc....

    it takes discipline and dedication....

    requires action to feel better....

    constant wisdom and knowledge seeking....


    you complex.. but woman are....

    be bless'd!

    life is complicated but only what u make it to b (pac)
     
  10. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My bad

    The intention behind the title was not to ask any one outside myself that question. I was asking myself and was wondering if anyone could relate to that thought.
    My biggest obstacle are those negative thoughts and controlling them. There was a time when I didnt have this problem but once you surround yourself with certain people that has a certain thought pattern long enough, you begin to think the same way. But I will get it together eventually, I hope.