Poetry Critiques : white/black haiku

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by keishawells, Sep 9, 2005.

  1. keishawells

    keishawells New Member MEMBER

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    white hakiu

    sunlite horizon
    birds singing a happy tune
    spring flowers in bloom

    black hakiu

    around in the getto
    awaken by a drive by
    crack sold on corner
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    welcome to destee.com true and honest critique & workshop

    this was nice, but negative toward what is nuture color black
    when the light go out we all see darkness of black which is a beautiful
    and the reverse flip of white/black

    white
    Thy ghost reflection
    driver of greed upon thy
    people devilish

    black
    radiant within
    dark as night beautifully
    mixture of color
     
  3. Wisdom7

    Wisdom7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am feeling you on that!! Love your reversal on turning that negative into a positive!!
     
  4. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    welcome to destee...
    i also share the same conclusion that rich has....
    wh is the light postive and the black negative?
    can u expound upon your appraoch for this hakiu?
    i'll reserve my critique until u do...

    one love
    khasm
     
  5. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Much like Khasm, I will compellingly hold my critique until futher notice. And I shall return.
     
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