Black People : Which Is Worse - Us or Them Talking Ugly About Us?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Destee, Jul 26, 2010.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Peace and Blessings Family,

    Which is worse, us talking negatively about ourselves, or others talking negatively about us?

    Some seem very sensitive when others do the very same thing that we do often. I absolutely hate all negative talk about us, coming from anyone, but as much as I've posted about it, tried to stop Sisters and Brothers from doing it, I've never been successful. Sisters and Brothers come here all the time, and always have, venting on what they don't like about what another Sister or Brother is or has done, and even, our collective shortcomings. I've even read where one Brother posted here, that we have small brains, or something of that nature. Rarely will you find the same person that is complaining about other Black People, speaking about their own shortcomings / failures. That just doesn't happen (or rarely).

    But let another person come in and say something ugly about us, and we all get up in arms. I don't understand this.

    It seems to me, knowing history like we do, that others talking or thinking of us in negative terms, would be a given ... like water on a duck's back ... but that's not how it goes.

    In addition ... it just doesn't seem logical, for a people that think and speak so poorly of their own selves, their own people, would get all bent out of shape when someone else does it. I could see us getting bent out of shape if we never did it, but we have thousands of posts here proving otherwise.

    It's like the parent that abuses their child, but doesn't want anyone else to abuse the baby.

    That's krazee.

    First, we have to learn not to abuse our own selves, speak ill of our own selves and people, before we can be getting all out of shape when someone else does the very thing we do.

    No, I don't like it. I've challenged those doing it over and over again, as they defend their right to have and voice their negative opinions of Black People. None have ever been banned for this (as far as I can recall), even though I hate it. If I were going to have some success in this area, I'd think it would be with Black People ... perhaps some self preservation stuff might kick in, or something ... but nope, that does not happen.

    So if it doesn't happen with those that are the subject and authors of the negative commentary ... how much more successful do we expect to be with those outside of ourselves?

    It's as though we can dish it out, but we can't take it.

    Which is worse ... us talking negatively of our own selves, or others doing it?

    It's like expecting someone to respect you and/or your people, when you don't respect you and/or your people.

    That's krazee to me. Is it krazee to you too? Or am I just krazee all by myself ... :nuts: ... :) ... ??

    Looking forward to your responses.

    Love You Family! :grouphug:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A family squbble is different from a lynching

    I would rather sit in a room all week full of Black folks calling me everthing but a child of God then to spend one second with a white person grinning in my face, facetiously and deviously, with that white priveledge, attitude.

    I have many that disagree with me but no haters, and only an opressor can hate

    Ones family has a right to bicker and argue, just as husbands and wives do and sometimes the longest relation beween 2 old folks are two cantankerous old folks who fuss and fight all the time but love each other dearly.

    I grew up around white people so I know what I am saying,
    and there is a differece bewteen a family squabble, and some outsider thrrowing rocks and bricks at the window of ones house
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Ankhur ... to call anything that happens on this forum a lynching, diminishes the lives of the many Sisters and Brothers that died that way. No one here has died, as a result of the discussions that take place.

    We're on the Internet Brother. Do you realize that it is nothing, oh so very easy, for someone who is Black to come in saying they are White, talking negative stuff, just to get you all up in arms? Do you realize you have absolutely no way to confirm or deny anyone's race here?

    So to put so much stock in such, is kinda krazee to me, it's certainly not anything we can moderate.

    All I can suggest to you, is not to bite the bait ... don't engage those that aren't talking like you wanna talk.

    If you can take the negative commentary from a Black Person, but can't take it from a White Person ... pretend they are Black ... since you have no real knowledge of what they are.

    Make it easy on yourself.

    And for the record, it would hurt me more, if someone in my Family said ugly things about me, vs one outside my Family ... but that's just me.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If you can take the negative commentary from a Black Person, but can't take it from a White Person ... pretend they are Black ... since you have no real knowledge of what they are.


    well you know, if that is how it is maybe it is time to for me to take a break
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Ankhur ... you're all out of sorts ... and don't even KNOW if the person is White or Black.

    You put up with White People in every other area of your life. In fact, you depend on them for most of life's basic necessities, but you want me to pull rabbits out of hats with no resources (barely able to keep this site alive) to facilitate such. There is probably no where on the Internet or in the world, where they are not at, adding their 2 cent ... yet you want me to somehow magically be able to keep them out ... when I can't even determine who they are beyond any reasonable doubt.

    You don't require this of anyone else ... your utility providers, food providers, doctors, no one ... for white people are all in those places ... but you want to come here, and make it appear as though I have somehow failed ... me ... a poor Sister, single Mother, struggling to survive herself ... you want me to do what no one else is doing ... what really can't easily be done in this environment ... that's what you require of me ... your Sister ... while you let everyone else off the hook ... and keep paying your light bill, water, gas, etc., to the very folk you make out like you don't want to have anything to do with ... okay.

    I can't satisfy you ... and unfortunately ... if all are honest ... no one can ... not here on this Internet.

    But you suit yourself ... do what you gotta.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    There is an ultra PC group in here that has always attacked anything perceived as negative talk about US. Regardless of how true or necessary it may be. I have always been of the opinion, that you dont get rid of weeds by ignoring them or covering them up.

    Deep discussion are necessary about our dysfunctional families. That is the only way to identify what's wrong. But to do that the shouting of the PC patrol must be put down. Moreover, we may even have to tolerate a bit of better back biting. The original forum USE to allow that.

    We have always had other races in our group. Largely drawn in by the poetry room and lively chat. They sometimes made impolite comments based on their ignorance of our culture. We used it as a teaching moment back then. Now, the PC patrol attacks! The one sided agenda must be fought. Because just as 2+2=4. So does 1+3. There is always more than one way to look at things















    :em0200:


     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Kemetstry ... you have certainly said a whole lot of ugly things about Sisters over the years, and it has hurt me more than anything a white person could ever say. I expect them, to a degree, to have the opinions they do ... but to hear it coming from a Black Man ... one born of a Black Woman ... now that's some painful ish ... but even no matter ... you've not been banned for it (recently) ... :lol: ... for it is your opinion and you are entitled to it. In fact, reading you over these years has toughened me up, and enlightened me some even ... maybe even encouraged me to think a little differently ... allowed me to grow ... but it hurt me just the same, much more than it would have, coming from one that I expected to think poorly of me / us.

    I've never been able to make you stop, though I've tried, giving me to know that I probably can't make others either (outside of us).

    No matter ... i still love you ... :kiss:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    To me it's all the same...I think it's a waste of energy and time, no one makes their point, it makes everyone come of as ignorant, and nothing positive EVER comes out of it.

    It doesn't make us better than them, and it doesn't make them better than us.

     
  9. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I have said a lot of factual things about a certain group of sisters over the years. Moreover, they havent been nearly as bad as some of the chosen in here. My point is that the PC crowd chose to defend some of the most abhorent behavior by this group of females in the name of the sistershood, which still perplexes me. Moreover, if you recall, you have both chided and threatened me to apologize for and retract them. A weaker brother would have caved. And I am glad you have qualified it as recently! Because my point is, none of you refuted what I was saying

    I am also, the ONLY male that has characterized, defined and named the lousy male. In fact, it was my initial commentary on the gender topics. Which some of the same sisters attacked me for!

    Today, nation wide, sisters refer to a dog as a Mookie. :lol:
    I am still waiting for just one of you to woman up and do the same for the female version.

    My point is, what started off as something many of you viewed as terrible is now in the lexicon. In order for there to be a positive change. In order for us to identify what the smell is, sometines our dirty laundry MUST be exposed. Isnt it better it be done in this cloistered setting? If we cant easily defend ourselves against a racist honkey, to use what should be an archaic phrase, then we arent worth calling ourselves modern black men and women.

    We wont get to run from this or our own prolbems in the real world, will we????


    Now, you define her for me dear. A name like Dumb Dora or Skanketta, ( I got those from other sites ) will do. Lead the way dear



    :toast:


    :geek:















    :em0200:

     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Don't matter both come off bad and none productive.....Somethings change and something should never change!!
     
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