Where Black Men Stand On Abortion!

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by Mike Ramey, Feb 26, 2003.

  1. Mike Ramey

    Mike Ramey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    COLUMNIST NOTE: The following column is on a very controversial subject. Keep your smelling salts handy. You can't say that you haven't been warned!

    THE ASSUMPTION DILEMMA

    Brothers, we are going to head for the tall grass on a topic that many have ‘blown by’ for the sake of being politically correct. That topic is Abortion. Of course, I’ll ‘cliff’ the historical background of the issue in a few lines, but let’s get to the aftermath of the matter as it affects men, manhood, and fatherhood.

    Thanks to our American feminized culture, the assumption has been put forth that-- in the matter of an unplanned pregnancy--the man has no say in a ‘woman’s right to kill that unborn life’. As a matter of fact, this belief has become so ingrained in the social mainstream that many women have taken the ‘easy way out’ and ‘assumed’ that the father of the child doesn’t care, one way or the other, as to the mother of his child terminating a life that it took two people to create. The truly sad part is this assumption has made its way into the Black community, and into the Black church.

    Now the one thing I can say in support of the women who have been brave enough to allow that life to continue. Yes, it has been rough. Yes, it has been a major trial and test of your belief in biblical teaching to allow that life to continue. Yes, you could have ended that life--to the applause of feminists, your friends and family.

    But, you have remained true. And, for that, you get my respect and admiration.

    We can chew on single parents all we want. At the bottom line, though, they have made the decision to be true and keep their children. I’d like to also add that some of them have gotten married, and had their husband treat ALL the kids as his!

    Another group of women also get my respect and admiration. These are the single women who have given their children up for adoption. There are a LOT of married couples that cannot have children because of infertility. The gift of hope and life passed on by these sisters to families who can take care of the children is nothing short of heroic.

    Might I also add that this is something that has been a part of our Black culture and heritage. The passing on of life, instead of terminating it because life is ‘too hard’.

    Then, let’s not forget the extended family members. The grandmothers and grandfathers, the uncles and aunts, the foster parents and many others who have stepped in to help a young life along when everyone else seems to be stepping out of the picture.

    They also get my respect and admiration.

    However, there is something that many single women and single men remain blissfully ignorant of concerning abortion. This is what I am going to lay out in this month’s column.

    A CLIFFED HISTORY LESSON ON ABORTION:

    When Roe v. Wade came to the attention of the U.S. Supreme Court back in the 1970s, one of the assumptions was that abortion was needed to ‘solve’ the rising tide of pregnancies due to rape and incest. Well, thirty years have gone by, and a few interesting things have happened along the way:

    1. One of the key participants in the case eventually became a Christian and admitted that she was ‘coerced’ by feminists (and others) to put her plight into the legal arena.

    2. The statistical information has come back, showing in part that some 40 million abortions have taken place since that court decision became the law of the land, with nearly a third of those murders being those of Black babies.

    3. More than EIGHTY percent of the abortions in this country have taken place because the mother of the child felt that the baby would ‘interfere’ with her life goals, while less than two percent of the abortions took place due to rape or incest.

    4. More Black extended family members, including Black men, have stepped in to take care of the children forfeited by their mothers, rather than allow them to be killed in an abortion clinic.

    5. More and more of those who took part in the abortion industry has stepped forward to testify about the horrors of the process, and how lying to potential patients is commonplace in such clinic settings.

    6. Lastly, more and more doctors have put their foots down and said that they would no longer do the abortion procedure, as it was a solid breech of the Hippocratic oath.

    Now, I’m not trying to ‘heap’ guilt upon those sisters who have had abortions. What I am striving for in this month’s column is to bring out the reality of the matter from a man’s point of view. And, there are a LOT of men who have something to say about this mass-murder industry. That is, if women would take the time to ask…and listen.

    ASSUMPTION #1--BLACK MEN DON’T CARE ABOUT THE UNBORN:

    This assumption is largely false, but has been given life because of the feminized nature of our current society. Many assume that Black men don’t care about the unborn, simply because they haven’t ‘heard’ us say anything in a ‘dramatic’ fashion. Still others assume that when a Black man gets the news that the woman he has been with announces: “I’m pregnant”, they are going to head for the door.

    Well, to be perfectly honest and bold, many women ‘stack’ the news of an unplanned pregnancy and spin it in such a way that they secretly hope that the brothers DO run! Thus, they can continue the ‘mantra’ that ‘Black men are no good’, and head off to the nearest murder clinic to get the deed done.

    I’ve heard from many a brother who has said, upon receiving such news: “Well, let’s get MARRIED!” This news causes the sister to back up and run the other direction, leaving the brother who thought he was doing the right thing, scratching his head in confusion.

    Black men have ALWAYS been about sacrifice and provision. We can’t help it if some sisters can’t, or won’t, see this reality. I know brothers who HAVE popped the question, or suggested that they be allowed to serve in the role of father and husband after an unplanned pregnancy, only to have the woman in question listen to her ‘sistahfriends’ and drop kick the man--in order to maintain their ‘independence’.

    Oh, I know this may be ‘new’ information for some who read my column, but trust me on this. My mail speaks for itself. I get letters from brothers all the time--some of them with tearstains on my screen--who want to be a father to their children after a divorce, or after an unplanned pregnancy, and they are the first to say: “She’s got my baby, and my money--and doesn’t want me around.”

    ASSUMPTION #2--BLACK MEN DON’T CARE ABOUT CHILDREN:

    If this were the case, why are so many Black men working two or three jobs AND serving as mentors and Big Brothers in many communities? Why are many brothers whom I talk to not only concerned about the direction of Black youth, but go out of their way to contribute time, money, and effort in order to teach and reach the young--at the same time they are taking care of their own children?

    This is yet another ‘assumption’ that Black women--and others--make because they don’t take the time to COMMUNICATE with Black men. They ‘assume’ that Black men are not interested in the youth of our communities because they don’t ‘see’ Black men in front of cameras and microphones with press conferences and statistics to ‘prove’ that they are doing the job of fatherhood and serving as mentors to the next generation of young Black men and women.

    Let me clue some of you: A Black man does NOT need a press conference to show that he is taking care of business! Things would be a LOT worse in the streets if we weren’t on the job!

    Let me digress for just a few lines. During the last Super Bowl and World Series games, I saw Black and white men with their sons on the gridiron and the ball diamond being carried and hugged by these brothers in a time of celebration. Right in front of the cameras and reporters. Some of these sights made Page One of many a newspaper. But, I suppose that we have quickly forgotten these images.

    Or, at least some wished that these images weren’t real.

    ASSUMPTION #3--BLACK MEN CAN‘T RAISE CHILDREN:

    Well, this is another ‘false’ assumption cooked up by feminists, and their allies in the feminized mainstream press, and been swallowed whole by some Black women. Might I remind those who can read that the U.S. Census Bureau came out with facts and figures a few years ago, highlighting that more than two million single parent homes are headed by MEN--and many of the by BLACK MEN?

    Oh, I guess many sisters didn’t get the paper the day that report was released.

    When Mama decides to ‘bail’, and brothers are left holding the diaper bag, a lot of them have stepped up to the plate and did the job to the best of their abilities. Often sacrificing job promotions and trips out of town for better employment to stay where they are and raise their children.

    Like I said earlier: Black men are about sacrifice and taking care of business. Just because one brother may not be all that, it is not fair to paint ALL Black men with the same brush! Nor is it right for some sisters to shut the father of their child out of the decision to terminate a human life. Not only is that selfish, that shows the woman has no class, no matter how many poets she can quote, or how many social causes she may join.

    ASSUMPTION #4--HIS NAME IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY CHILD:

    Another assumption that has been floating around many a hospital ward is that the mother’s name is the name the child should carry. Sorry, but that won’t wash with me, and with many other Black men. By allowing society to dictate the name a child should carry, many Black men have been frozen out of the fatherhood and marriage process.

    A child carrying the name of his/her mother does not have the same heritage as a child carrying the name of their father. Sister, if he was good enough to lie with, he is good enough to marry. You need to carry his name…and so do your children. Why go on national TV and try to remember whom the father was? You KNOW who the father was when the pregnancy took place!

    WRAPPING THIS UP:

    The real deal about Abortion is that it is a crime of convenience. Even though it is legal, and even though law supports it, it does NOT make it right. Remember, the same courts that have said that a woman has a ‘right’ to end her unborn child’s life are the SAME courts that said that Black folk were only three-fifths of a person, and that slavery was legal, and segregation was honorable.

    Abortion has been proven to be the leading cause of breast cancer, sterility, and host of other physical problems among the women who have had this medical procedure done. Not to mention the emotional baggage that women often carry with them afterwards.

    I never have ‘bought’ the notion that it takes two to procreate, and one to terminate. I have ‘bought’ the notion that some women, for one reason or another, have made up their minds as to what they are going to do and get mad with a brother because he won’t ‘sign off’ on the murder warrant known as abortion. If Black men are good enough to lay down with, sisters, why aren’t they good enough to marry?

    Let me take this a little further for the sisters, if they didn’t hear me the first time around. If Black men are good enough to pay child support, and provide for the cost of raising a child, when a child is carried to full term, why are they NOT good enough to marry, sisters? Why are they NOT good enough to put their name on that child when he/she is born?

    Yes, the images in the Rap videos and movies portray one thing concerning male/female relationships. However, I am addressing reality. And the reality is Black men are MORE than willing to be husbands and fathers. Provided that when a Black man speaks, folk are willing to listen.

    I’ve read more than a few columns and articles from women who have had abortions. They are a combination of sorrow and anger. However, I have heard the pain from brothers who were told ‘after’ the fact that an abortion had taken place--without their consent. The mother in question based her assumption on the misguided notion that the man in question didn’t want to be a father and husband and she ‘did it for him’.

    We may never know how many brothers have secretly visited cemeteries, praying to God for release from that pain. The pain of not having a voice in a choice that was made by two, but decided by one. But then, many who believe in abortion never think that far in advance, do they?

    MIKE RAMEY is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. A syndicated, monthly column written for men, from a biblical, business, and common sense perspective. Email welcome to [email protected]. © 2003 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International (14).
     
  2. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is a necessary topic to discuss in our community...It is also one we often push under the rug...

    Thank you for this article!
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    here what we fact in fact men should have a more say in the role of a unborn as u said the two took part in forming this beautiful
    life and where we in our community should become more aware
    this topic is a grand stand
    many as mother's to be has been forced into abortion forth so
    young but i also study it somewhat and found that 73% of men
    try to be a family bond and for the groweth of a child to a well
    beings , not long ago where men seem not to care of the
    decision now has movin into a higher love for the unborn
    yes men now taking part more & more in decision made about
    a life he so help created the seed of his own laid to bloom
    has taken affect .......

    personally all out against ABORTION !!!!!

    now can we say that women who partake in this murder theme
    of abortion killing life so new so precious is forgiven
    not in the eyes of GOD
    Behold he so giveth life spare life

    without life given unto you our world would be of none
    the higher courts need to refined the Law to kill at will
    and be free of mind
    ABORTION is a rule of less emotions taking place
    where life is meanless to the carrier forth the womb
    is curse

    life is beautiful the study is true and real
    but how long will it take for reality to set in ...?

    thanks MIKE
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    yes so true Keme.......so many so young
    babies having babies can't handle it
    but again we have greater love one who can
    just wont !
    life given , life taken
    study should look deeper into a better answer
    for the life of a new born

    man ........ it makes you wonder what if !!
    such as if u was in the place of these little souls
    hmmmm!!
     
  5. Engima

    Engima New Member MEMBER

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    Why have one from the first place?! If they are not equipt for rasing a child? :confused:
     
  6. Mike Ramey

    Mike Ramey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    E--You've Got That Right!

    Engima: You've hit it out of the park! Good one!

    Mike Ramey
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    so many not ready yet fall in a massive bliss and seed touch
    yet not ready .....it's not that always they are equipt to carry
    it out them self so where do you turn! ? who do you turn to ?
    these are the lacking of many and that's where Abortions
    now take place
    young scared and somewhat confused
    yet still against it...........who have da rites to kill...?
     
  8. monetg

    monetg Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I was sitting here thinking of a lengthy reply, quoting statistics and refuting each point of the argument represented here but decided instead to speak from my heart.
    Mr Ramsey, until you hop up on that operating table as I have you will never know what it's like. Do you think it's easy to wake up and decide one day to terminate the life growing inside you? Well, it's not. It is the hardest thing I ever had to do.
    Do you think that each time I attend a baby shower or see a Mother cradling a newborn that my soul doesn't weep? Well, it does.
    But ultimately I know that I've done the right thing. I'm not going to go into my reasoning because it's not for you to understand or accept them or me. But I will say, the Father of my unborn child was consulted and included and he was supportive from the time we lay down till this very minute.
    I will also say this, no matter how well intentioned- the protestors outside of clinics with their posters of bloody, mutilated, fetuses and chants of "DON'T KILL YOUR BABY" are only throwing salt on a wound.
    You say "I know of Brothers" who sacrifice and propose......... while making women seem as if we are some diabolical succubus who live to emotionally drain men by getting pregnant and exterminating their precious seed.
    Here are some things I know--right about now there are more Brothers incarcerated than in college. They have a higher recitivism rate and also serve more time than Whites for the same crime.
    Currently, the national divorce rate vascillates at between 55% to 60%--so these Brothers are proposing but are they STAYING married?
    There are thousands of Black children languishing in foster care, or "up for adoption" so there is an ample supply just waiting for the childless couple--where are these prospective parents? Maybe leary to invest in a child whose "been in the system"? Afraid to gamble on a child whose Mother woefully ill-prepared but "being true" brought a child into this world as an afterthought on the bathroom floor?
    Maybe these abortion providers who have "put their foot down and swore" to no longer perform abortion are not suffering from attacks of conscience but fear attacks from fanatics who committ murder by shooting Doctors and bombing clinics?
    In a perfect world, abortions wouldn't be necessary but they are in this one. Yes, there are plenty of women who now speak out against their decision to terminate but there are millions more who still stand by our decision and we ALL carry emotional baggage from the experience. But one thing we all had in common was CHOICE-and now you are hearing from a woman who won't forget what she did but who will march and speak and shout if I have to to ensure that all women have that choice.
     
  9. Mike Ramey

    Mike Ramey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Just because its legal...

    does not make it RIGHT!

    Remember these FACTS:
    *The US Supreme Court said...for a number of years...that BLACK folks did not have a right to be counted as a person.

    *The US Supreme Court said...that separate but equal was alright.

    First, dear poster, I am writing to MEN! If WOMEN get it, then it is an added blessing. It takes TWO to make a baby, unless you have forgotten basic human biology. How does ONE get the 'right' to murder an unborn child?

    Why, from the US Supreme Court...the same ones whom I mentioned earlier.

    You are free to believe what you want to believe. But, then so am I. And, you do have the duty to speak and comment. And, I have the right to reply.

    Baby, you are WRONG!

    There have been 43 million abortions in the USA since the 1973 decision, and about a third of them were BLACK babies. Even the Planned Parenthood folks, in their literature, are based upon a systematic and calculated plan to practice genocide on US! Read some of Margaret Sangers early papers on how to 'encourage' abortion in the Black community. Very interesting stuff.

    And they were used by Adolph Hitler when he contimplated the 'Final Solution' that led to the slaughter of 20 million people including Africans.

    Of course, there are two ways you can stop abortion in its tracks.

    A woman keeps her skirt down...until she gets married.

    A man keeps his pants zipped up...until he gets married.

    BTW...have YOU thought about what would have happened if your parents decided to use their CHOICE and NOT have you?

    Getting real quiet now, isn't it?

    Bottom line...it takes two to create.

    And, lest I forget...abortion has led to increases of breast cancer (documented), depression (documented), sterility among women (documented), promiscuity among men and women (documented).

    You see what you want to see.

    Mike Ramey
     
  10. Gary C. Booker

    Gary C. Booker Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Morality?

    I have to put another view on it here. Personally at this point in my life, if a woman becomes pregnant by my sperm, I would encourage her to have the child and would do the best of my ability to raise the child. The type of women I deal with view it in the same manner.

    However, I am pro-choice. I am tickled by how many pro-lifers that are pro death penalty and are too narrowminded to see how the issues of crime and abortion relate. The Judeo-Christian right creates an economically downtrotten society controlled by 20 percent haves that rob the remaining 80 percent have-nots deaf, dumb and blind which results in a society with the lowest healthcare of all western or "developed" nations (that blatantly ignores epidemics such as AIDS) and a KKKorporate infastructure that places a huge gap upon who makes what. The same Judeo-Christian right then, out of the same mouth that spits venom that favors KKKorporate welfare over the economic empowerment of citizens, attempts to force children to be born in a impoverished society that creates hate, death and destruction.

    THere are countless stories of how many children grew up hated by their parents who would literately tell their kids that they hoped they would go off and die somewhere. Those types of mothers do not need to have children, and let's be realistic here... people are going to have sex. It is human nature. That is why we have hormones that produce sex drive. Especially in a contradictory society that demonizes it on one hand and then glorifies it in the other.

    When I bring up this, people from the right retalliate usually with something to the likes of, "There is no statistical analysis supporting that child abuse is linked to abortion. Statistics show that most parents that abuse their children wanted to have their child." Being that I have a strong mathematics background along with a sense of the real world, I know better. Being that there are many ways to define child abuse, the denial of the abuser in abusing the children and the hypocritical sense of christ in this country that often makes people think that they aborting a child is unchristlike but beating the crap out of a child for asking for water, making the child elicit oral sex (while the parent is drunk), burning the child with an iron, and other horrible things are not... I know that you cannot "statistically" disprove that which is just no more than deducive logic. The ultimate expression of wanting a child is to raise it the best way you can (and your best may be different at times).

    Then when these children grow up with hate, join gangs and go around killing people you stick them in a locked room to sample the latest Cyanide fragrance, strap them to a chair and fry them like Churches chicken or give them a Grim Reaper shot. Wheras all of this could have been prevented by just letting a problem solve itself. That is just the reality of the situation.



    By the way, most abortions are done by whites and asians and the stereotypes associated with black men and parenthood is the result of babydaddyism, not abortion.



    GCB
     
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