Black Relationships : When is too soon to give up the booty?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by unique, Jul 26, 2005.

  1. unique

    unique Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm back in the dating scene after taking a hiatus after a heartbreak. I say all that to say I'm as horny as a goat :donttell: I believe anytime before 3 months is too soon but I wanted to know what you guys thought.
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think the answer ultimately depends on the intentions you have for your date. If you are seeing someone soley to satisfy your sexual urges, then no time is too soon. However, if you believe that your date is relationship material...you might want to be more conscious of the first impression you give to him. All that being said, there really is not a set amount of time for having sex, particularly when you are dealing with adults. Different men have different requirements, perceptions, and expectations. You can have sex with one man on the 1st date, and he'll walk away thinking you are the biggest **** who ever walked the face of the Earth. However, you can have sex with another man on the 1st date, and he'll fall head over heals in love with you. You can made one man wait 3 months, and he'll think you are a prude and loss interest. However do that to another man, and he might think you are marriage material. Dating is a selection process anyway. There really are no rules, and it is best to enter a date with no expectations. Just enjoy yourself!
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    you do it when ever you want to..........and you feel that you know your partner well enough.
    if you are so horny, go down to the club and do somebody.
    explain to the man what the situation is.
    i continue to be amazed at the lack of honest communication between people.
    as long as he is not a serial killer and you wear your full body hazmat suit, it should be OK.
     
  4. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Unless you are looking for meaningless, self gratifying sex save youself for your spouse. Sex is a complex thing that many of us have hard time separating emotion from the act itself, especially women. How many people have you seen loose their mind over some good sex? A lot right? I know I did once and married a woman because the sex was good. When the relationship ended I thought I would loose my mind over not getting any more of that good stuff. I share this with you so that you will know I'm not just lip service. Sex was design to strengthen the bond between man and woman. No one can say that there was not the slightest bit emotion between two people during or right after sex. Even prostitutes feel something even if it's negative. Why would you give the most intimate part of yourself to a person who is not worthy of your love? Just something to think about......



    Peace......
     
  5. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :haha: lmao.. ur so silly,
    I agree.. however, with both brother pan and james,
    If you are confidant and carry yourself like a lady, the man will treat you like a lady.
     
  6. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    wow that really is radical.. i wish i could do as you said.. second though.. nahh! But the idea behind it is beautiful.. props to you. If the whole world was waiting for marriage.. there would be a) more divorces and marriages.
    or b) a sudden rash of violence.


     
  7. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Well, not everyone can do the wait until marriage thing especially considering the fact most people nowadays don't marry until their late 20s / early 30s.

    I think if you're really horny it's better to satisfy yourself even if it's a one-night stand than to run around sexually frustrated. Doing so may make a person more vunerable to want to commit to the first person that comes along just because they want sex, not because the person is right for them. This is especially the case with women.

    I understand where the poster is coming from though, and this is a common dilemna for many single women. Give up sex too soon, and you can pretty much ensure you'll lose a guy for anything long-term, yet not doing anything doesn't make you happy either especially if you want to.
     
  8. Sun Ship

    Sun Ship Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Or neither…In other words it’s not always a choice between being seen as a whore or a wife with a man… though men and women can be pretty shallow at times, I think for too long women have tried to define themselves between these two opposites and, I think men have been given a bad rap and over generalized too much when comes to sex.

    I don’t know why women are always trying to put a gauge, a clock or barometer on their coochie and their relationships with a man… If you have sex after 1 steak dinner or twenty how can you be viewed any more or less special? Just be comfortable and sure about whom you’re with …I think 3 months can’t reveal or necessarily prove anymore or less about you or him, than one month or two months…so remove the calendar and just go with what you feel about yourself and that person.


    PS__this thread is interesting especially after reading and commenting in the "is it affection or foreplay?" thread...these two threads together reveal a lot about how women think..:D
     
  9. Sun Ship

    Sun Ship Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister karmashines, why do women always think they are GIVING UP something…as if women are not trying to get something themselves? It is obvious that this sister is trying to GET SOMETHING in this scenario….

    Why do you and most women always turn this around?

    I think this type of thinking is problematic and have most women thinking (especially when things go wrong) they did all the giving and all the man did was receive. I think this type of thinking also seeps into all other female thinking in general and also some of the post I have seen here at Destee.
     
  10. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It's your choice sister but remember abstinence and celibacy has never killed anyone. Sex has, whether responsible or irresponsible.This is why we must be extremely careful. Never say it wasn't hard to wait either. I'll keep you and your mate in my prayers.


    Peace and Love....

    P.S. There is still a high divorce rate and violent occurrences among people having sex.

    Here's are some questions: Why is it OK for a man to take the chance of his women becoming pregnant but not worth the risk of marriage? Why is it OK for a woman to become pregnant by her man but not OK to wait until marriage. An unplanned child is way more drama than a failed marriage. Again this is not just lip service I have first hand experience.....

    Again Peace and Love sis.....
     
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