Black Relationships : when is it to soon to tell a woman how u feel?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Therious, Mar 2, 2005.

  1. Therious

    Therious Banned MEMBER

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    Ladies..would u want to know how much a man was feeling u after one date? say he thought u were an angel, he thinks about you all the time, u make his day, and he would like 2 be more than friends. would him telling u this after one date put him in the creep category?
     
  2. Nisa

    Nisa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Depends on how the woman feels about you. Maybe you should ask in a not so obvious way :swim:
     
  3. Therious

    Therious Banned MEMBER

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    true dont play your self. But how would u suggest going about that?
     
  4. LibertyLady

    LibertyLady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi bro :wave:

    a good qustion...


    welll.....

    first about the creep thing...
    I think when you are as a woman God fearing and not Human fearing...
    that it makes a difference...of how the woman is taking it....
    For some woman it can change their impression about you for some not..
    Some appriciate it youre honesty......


    When two people like eachother and feel the same energie at the same time..
    it most of the time ....is no problem ....it goes together with blushing and flirting when they say these things to eachother....

    let me give you some examples.....


    1)I know guys who had expressed their emotions emidiatly...
    you know how wonderfull you are and that you where the world...


    2)I know some guys who had expressed their emotions after a while....
    3)and i know some guys who epressed their emotions after years.....


    In some of the casses of the 3 examples it all turned out good ....
    there was a good vibe they got together....

    In some of the casses for example <example1)
    te guy was to caught up in the moment the vibe...
    and maybe by her looks pressance or the way the mood and the sky was...
    and after he got to know her and i mean realy know her......
    those complements dissapeared and where never said again after it...

    thats why some woman can think .....by a guy saying all these things to her on or after a first date ......"'yeah right.....you dont even know me......"'



    I also know that in some casses for exampe , example2/3
    The guy regred that he didnt expressed and got blamed for thr fact that he didnt expressed it to her....and made her wonder and mourn how he feels about her....


    I personaly think that in these times....
    actions speek louder than words..
    for woman...(i believe also for man.... however sumthimes i still have the feeling that they perver that a woman is not agressif and that she waits in her little castle and comes :horse: for her and screams "'thelma come out now youre man is here..........well i hope you like me....i hope :number1: ...
    but if there is no match......i,m out :run: of here... :wchair: ..up to another castle)


    I think its good for people ....
    to express their emotions....
    in honesty..
    i see it alot in childeren daily...

    But some advise i would give to some man....
    is...

    you can also.....leave the words somethimes and just express it in...
    you know just looking at her smiling....sending those thoughts out.....
    in energie.....

    so that youre gonna have that old man who is walking by or sitting next on table of you two.....saying ""now you like that lady dont ya......"'
    "'good luck my son""



    For some man i would like to give the advise to speak more...
    and from the heart and before you speak ....
    make shure you know what you feel......
    and that it is real....

    so for some guys .....speak more..
    you know dont look only .....

    (suddenly this song pups up in my mind its a song of betty wright...."'you can see for looking""



    But i think most inportent....
    is that we express....
    And how its best you will feel it when you let yourself be guided by the most high .....I,m sorry but i had to mention him cause i know he always helps you even trough these things....

    but express cause....

    you can never blame ...the fact that there is no match ...
    i mean that there is no real love between two people who are just starting to know eachother.......

    but it can always be painfull to know that you never expressed or showed you how you feel...
    and this counts for other relationships to...

    Just think about that group Mike and the Macanics..with that song ""in the living years""




    brother...
    i did my best to give you some advise i hope i could help you a little...(but know our father will give you the best guidance)
    as soon i know more i will come here and edit more to it.....


    so for now good luck and Alpha and Omega guidance......



    just see me as a little sis doing my best to encouriage you s :kick: ""you can do it"' youre going to be alright..







    Lovelibertylady:heart:
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    offer to pay her rent. :dance:
     
  6. Mz Infiniti

    Mz Infiniti New Member MEMBER

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    Hey Therious,

    I think it's fine to express your feelings for someone whenever you are comfortable doing so; however, one has to be aware that initial feelings can and most times do change as they get to know the person more. I think for myself I would prefer just hearing something like .... "I really had a good time this evening and would like to see you again if that's okay with you."

    I believe initial feelings often have a lot to do with what a person looks like or that "put your best foot forward" routine that most people put on during first dates rather than who the person really is. So for some people they may feel it wise to keep those feelings to themselves until they get to know the person better.

    You also have to look at the fact that some people just may begin to look at you as stange, to say the least, if you even think of breathing the fact that you believe you are seriously feeling someone after only one date. But let's take a look at this:

    Say you express your feelings for someone after that first date and they aren't feeling the same about you but rather than telling you this they just smile. They then start avoiding your calls and when they see you on the street and you attempt to have a conversation with them they never have the time to talk or when they see you they quickly turn the other way hoping you didn't see them so they don't have to think up an excuse as to why they don't have time to talk with you. Now what, you're feeling like an idiot for telling this person how you feel and they're playing you like a played out video game. Or take a look at this:

    Suppose you express your feelings and the other party says they are feeling the same. Then after a few m ore dates you are feeling the terrible mistake you made by telling this person how you felt. Why, turns out this person has some serious issues and one of those issues is a person with overbearing stalker potential. She's constantly calling you questioning why you haven't called or come over. Accusing you of not feeling what you initially said yiou felt and of other women. And guess what, even though you aren't seeing any other women because of this you don't have the same feelings.

    Unnecessary right .... exactly. We must always try to use wisdom in the things that we do so as to hopefully ward off any unnecessary bad feelings or possible mistakes.

    In any event .... I think it's up to the individual with the feelings to decide what's best for him/her.

    Well, that's my take on question.
     
  7. 1hotvirgowoman

    1hotvirgowoman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well Therious, to be honest. If I was dating a Kat' and he told me how he felt after the first date- I would be thrilled because atleast I know where he stands- there wouldn't be question in my mind- Ya'dig?. Honesty is always the best policy to me, and I say to me because some people don't like to be told the truth . They may say that they like honesty but a lot of them can't handle all that. Don't get me wrong tho' these words right here( "I'm really feelin' you") can be scary as hell if it's coming from the wrong person- no lie!! But, if it is indeed from the one you want- then it's all-to-the-good!.


    Keep it Honest and to the point- none of that goo-goo Gaga!
     
  8. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    LibertLady...very good point.

    I would have to agree with Mz Infiniti though. I would take her approach on things. I would compliment the young lady all during the first date. Say nice things about her eyes, her style of dress, her smile, her perfume, or her personality. At the end of the date, I'd say I had a nice time and that I like the chemistry or vibe between us...and then ask her whether she'd like to go out again sometime (all the while, smiling gently in her face...don't over do it...she'll think you're crazy or something is wrong. :lol: )

    However, I don't think I'd say to a woman: "I want you."; "I'm in love with you."; or "I love you." It's too early for all that. I'd just let her know that I have some general interest in her and want to get to know her more by spending some time with her...on the phone or in person.

    The secret to all of this is not to sound crazy...or act irrational as you are telling her how you feel.

    Peace, Fam.
     
  9. Therious

    Therious Banned MEMBER

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    james-my name is therious not trickerous

    i must agree with these responses, no mushy sope opera stuff. i always found when i stop looking i find exactly what i need not WANT. i do have a tendency to jump the gun sometimes.

    so another question for the ladies if i guy simply said can we hang out again would u say yes but not really mean it? it does depend on the person.

    :confused:
     
  10. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, my opinion on this subject is tell her how you feel when you get a feel for how she feels about you. Women always say that they want a man to have feelings for them and open up, but as soon as you let her know she'll start trippin. If you get the feeling that she's into you, then maybe you should tell her, but don't just jump off the cliff and hope she catches you. I have found that if you can take her or leave her, she'll be more interested. If you lay your heart on the line she'll think she's all that and start taking you for granted. Don't play games, but don't show her all your card either.
     
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