Black Relationships : When is a good time to introduce him to the family?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by MsInterpret, Nov 8, 2011.

  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So, I've been friends with this guy for about a couple of years, but we been dating for a little while now. He's been a great friend and someone that I enjoy being around. He's got a nice little career going, he's super respectful, takes care of his two daughters, and I'm just comfortable with him.

    Also, the big thing that attracts me to him, is that he is someone I could actually see myself introducing to my parents and I know my parents would like.

    However, I don't want to rush into him meeting my parents just yet. I've only introduced maybe 4 guys to my parents and each one, except my daughter's dad and an ex, they didn't like the other two. One time they took myself and a guy I had been seeing out to a nice dinner. As soon as the guy went to the bathroom my parents told me to get rid of him and that he was ugly and no good for me.
    Another guy, my dad put up with him for some time and eventually told him to stay away from me and never to come by the house again. And my dad has been known to cuss guys out behind my back and then later denies it ever happening....
    So, I'm super nervous about ever introducing any guy to my parent's especially my father. They are very judgmental about appearances, finances, and so on...Which I'm glad for at times....

    Anyways, when is it a good time to introduce a guy...3 months into the relationship, 6 months, a year? Or right around the time he proposes?

    I haven't introduced a guy to my folks in a long time...
     
  2. Mikha'el

    Mikha'el Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    when you feel its right. a few months usually is reasonable. also be aware of how he's introduced....how u act n speak of dude...you may play a role in the impression ya folks have by how u speak of dude, your plans for the immediate future, etc etc
     
  3. Black-king

    Black-king Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Do it when you are about to get married.
     
  4. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The only person that I talk to about him is my mom...I almost never talk to my dad about a guy, because he isn't interested in hearing about it....

    My mom seems interested in who he is....After I told her about him, that he's a little older, bigger and has a good job...She was like just last night I prayed you'd meet and older guy who was big enough to put up with you lol
     
  5. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My rule is if we are pass the point of casual dating. If we both know that we are not dating just to be doing something, and it might lead to marriage, then I wouldn't mind introducing him. I would say as long as it is a serious relationship with some time under your belt, then I would think that it would be a good thing, like another level. That is why none of my boyfriends have ever met my parents, lol!
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I think well sis i'm ole skol and when we go in to introduce it's when the magic words
    are spoken.......MARRIAGE ! then we meet parents .
    but when you feel it's right for you and that this not just a hot flame or a onesided wish
    factor but a compromise love a hopeful togetherness for long term or possible marriage
    then it's time......

    sis from my heart
    Good luck and may it be
    prosper.
     
  7. Black-king

    Black-king Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    How do you know when you cross that point?
    How many levels are there?
    :eek: my sweet angelic Rapunzal you did what? Lol I am just messing with you.:lol:
     
  8. lilpea

    lilpea Moderator STAFF

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    Greetings Misinterpret...

    While my daughter was living at home with me...I had one basic rule...No horn blowing...the gentleman was to come to the door and pick her up. I never made a snap judgment about him. And I didn't tell her what I thought about him until she asked. For me that was my way of really getting to know him.. without putting any extra pressure on him or her.

    This has worked so well for us that after while, it had became second nature with her. I'm not saying she likes it..but she does seem to respect my opinion and even ask me what I think about them.

    Now after she left home... she kelp the same rule about the horn blowing..so she says. lol lol lol
    It seems to me that the two of you are in the relationship for the long haul and if that is true, you owe it to yourself, him and your parents to get to know one another. The sooner the better. Like others have all ready explain....this is just a part of life's process of taking a relationship to the next level.

    To me the question you should be asking is, are you ready for that..is he ready for that. If so, by all means prepare all parties. What I mean by prepare? School him about your Dad...school your Dad about him...and how you feel about him. By doing so it could turn out to be a very enjoyable time for all.

    P.s. Don't you think your parents deserve to know who's coming around their Grand child?
    Lilpea...:1on1:
     
  9. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    LOL! For me we cross that point when we have decided that we are only seeing each other, when we talk about marriage, and what each other wants or need from that marriage, when we have discussed religious beliefs, and when enough time has passed that we have put most of our cards on the table. To me there are 3 levels, 1)the getting to know each other level, 2) when we decide that we are in a relationship and we are exclusive, 3)when we get to a point where we start discussing marriage and what we both need to get to that point. No, I have never introduced my parents to any of my boyfriends, to me it never reached point 3, so my parents didn't need to meet him. Before I let someone into my life that far, I need to feel as if there is a good chance that you will stick around, and that I want you there. I have definitely talked to my parents about them (I have 3, my mom, my dad, and dad the sequel), and discussed problems, they know of him, but they never met him. When I bring a man home, my parents will definitely know that I am serious.
     
  10. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is definitely on point!
     
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