Quiet Poetry Lounge : When I saw Love In Your Eyes.

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by plainrhythm, Apr 12, 2005.

  1. plainrhythm

    plainrhythm Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    there you stood, watching me
    as i sat there, watching you...
    we were the only inhabitants
    of love's free world at that moment
    and i was blind to the truth.

    i tried to think of the things i'd next say
    to you: " i... i love... i love the knicks?"
    my never so silent mouth became
    ever so silent that night.
    would you be the one to set me free?

    now that we're together, i'm
    trying to figure what i did wrong,
    your loving words became angry
    fists, that soft face became
    an angry mask..

    i don't know how to love you right,
    i can't turn back to that night and
    turn my head away from your
    beautiful eyes...

    i'll just watch now, as you hate
    me more and more, i'll just smile
    now, as my makeup grows thicker.

    *this is unfinished business, forgive me*
     
  2. AHMOSE

    AHMOSE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This yet another heart felt piece. The pain yells out at the reader from the screen. Thank you for sharing.
     
  3. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This completely moved me!
     
  4. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I could feel the words in this. Relationships can be like this. One minute your nervously trying to get aquainted, and seemingly the next you're being hurt to the core by that same one...Well written flow.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    the deep warmth of this surely is felt within
    lovin the pen how it's flowin here ..............,
     
  6. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sometimes we just don't know or have answers...for love. I also felt this piece poet.
     
  7. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is intense, captivating and sad. Beautifully written. I've been in a similar situation.
     
  8. plainrhythm

    plainrhythm Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thank you all, i'm glad ya'll felt this, i was worried you wouldn't.
    still need to edit it though, so any suggestions welcome!!!!!!

    much love, plain.
     
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