Black Poetry : When He Changed(for Emma)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by eternal, Apr 29, 2002.

  1. eternal

    eternal Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I neva loved anyone before him
    He was my first everything
    When I heard his voice
    My heart would sing
    My soul would rejoice
    At the thought of thinking about his voice
    I knew that things would never end.
    He was my best friend.
    Until I got pregnant at seventeen
    The thought of my baby made him green
    The thought of his toungue caressing mine
    Made him wish to turn back time
    Fought his thoughts of loving me
    Told me to kill the unborn baby
    Said he wanted no parts of me
    (I felt lie he left me for dead)
    I couldn't believe I'd ever believed anything he'd ever said.

    Years passed, us, well we back and forth
    Me in the south, he's at school up north
    Forgive and forget's what I thought I did
    Until we finally called it final quits.
    Said I would never go back to the same ole crap
    Had a child by someone else a year after that
    Did I mention the first child is dead and gone
    By my own decision, couldn't raise it alone
    But always wondered what could have been
    I really never should've trusted him.

    Even more years have passed. I am grown
    Got two kids I am raising basically alone
    And the first love wants to fill in for dad
    I would like to have a real man so bad.
    But can I really trust man I shouldn't have trusted first
    He says I am the only substance that can quench what he thirsts
    Does he really want me. What happened to him??
    Would trusting him put me back out on a limb??
    He stepped out of my life when I needed him most,
    Though it hurts still, fine is what I boast.
    Cause I can never make him feel what I so deeply felt
    He was the first to see under my belt.
    Hell, he was first to see into my heart.
    I can't let that go. There will be no fresh start.

    Hell hath no fury, and war leaves no pain
    like that of a woman scorned who thinks it will happen again.
     
  2. msluciousb

    msluciousb Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Cuttin Deep !!!! I almost didn't Speak!

    So familiar is this story, it was painful and some parts gory.
    As it tore away at places in my heart that should have been
    healed 20 years ago. But I feel your sadness in each line.
    And your longing in each verse. We can never turn back the
    hands of time. But "Never" is a long time!
    At least that is what my Mother said...and at the risk of sounding like Forrest Gump she usually knows what she is talking about.
    But, search your heart and ask God about it. And if there is any
    doubt! For God sake and your kids "FORGETABOUTIT"!
    WHAT GOD HAS FOR YOU IS FOR YOU!
    BLESSINGS ON YA HOUSE!
    MAY PEACE AND LOVE ABOUND
     
  3. Euphoria

    Euphoria Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow eternal.. great piece.
    But isn't the saying true that we must love ourselves before we can love anyone else or allow them to love us in return? I admire anyone with the strength to raise children alone, so realise how strong you are without a man and be proud of yourself girl! Nobody needs a man to be happy, just so long as you love who you are. One day a man worthy of your affection will realise what a strong and beautiful person you are and treat you the way you ought to be, because "you're worth it." :)
     
  4. eternal

    eternal Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nah, that isn't what GOd intended, he sent me something I can trust. Someone I can believe. And the experience taught me to BELIEVE IN GOD FIRST, and then trust men. I understand that humans make mistake, and I forgive, but I can not forget.
    Kind of made me feel like he coerced me into disobeying a commandment(Thou shalt not kill), even if for good (or selfish) reason.
    Eternal
     
  5. eternal

    eternal Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Euphoria, thank ya baby!! He did, it's really an illustration of how a man could actually change, but like I said, you have to believe that he did, before you even give him a chance to show it!
    E
     
  6. Euphoria

    Euphoria Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You are so very welcome.
    Thanks for pointing it out, I'll remember it always. Hey, they say you learn something new everyday.
     
  7. alyce

    alyce Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this is a powerful story, sista... and I am speechless. Thank you for sharing.

    alyce
     
  8. eternal

    eternal Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Repost for me
     
  9. SwtT

    SwtT Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    [email protected] good picec....very emotional(for me in a way)
     
  10. eternal

    eternal Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you SwtT!!!