Black Relationships : when a loved one suddenly dissapears that is no love right?


Well-Known Member
Apr 26, 2004
brothers and sisters.. beautifull souls ..
i hope you are all alright ..

i have a question it just came up these days and its on my mind and i came here to ask you for youre opinion...

somthimes you know the answers youreself you look for conformation ,,
but somthimes a different vieuw make you look different at certain. things..

this is my thing question problem..

some people come in my life ..use the word "love "'

or say "' i love you "' love You... or say all kind of nice things wich make you believe find a '' brother "' "" Sister "' "'friend"'' ''Love" you know ""Love "' as someone who you like more than only a friend whom you considder to share yourself with....

somthimes i am wondering ..and thinking am i crazy or what is it the world around me i try to hold on to my faith and the truth wich i can find back in scriptures..

look there are a vieuw things that i dont underdtand and hurt..

do people take words serius ..
we might as well dont speak if we dont....

for example..

i live in aruba now for now..but i use to live in holland ..i grew up there..

and sumthimes i call my loved ones friend famalys and that goes also back to my school friends..when i call them they are so suprissed even if they dont call me i dont mind is just that "i "' me I want to know how they are doing cause i carry them in my heart ,with prayers annd all.... when they pick up the phone they are like ""hey they are happy and they say "'thet you remember me ... and than i say ... mmm Yes because when i told you "' than that i love you ......i ment it......

so even if you are bussy with youre life or you move still carry that loved on with you..

now ..

this is the thing that hurts me...

as far as my experiance with a relationship wit
well i dont want to say with men Man i mean ...
i can not say that they are all bad because i know some Good brothers they are my friends ...cause i believe in evil as well as in Male or Female..

but i did had some sad experiances with some man and the thing that hurts me the most is the way they leave things behind...

they just leave you without saying bye or explaining you know ,how they feel
you know respect know what i am saying ..i mean people are grown fooks (probebly not)i mean you can not create love ..if the feeling is not mutual the same well that is life but you can have respect for that person and say it in a good conversation.. or in a letter or in these days email..

i remember before i came to this island i met a brother in holland ..we where friends for a long time ....and suddenly we feld sumthing..but it takes a longer time and getting to know eachother to know if its real and From God ..(sumthimes not some people know right away i mean there are different cases)
cause we peoplel can feel all kinds of things these days ..the hart is deceaving....
but soon we knew that it was not real i mean he said .... he looked at me and said "'aww i,m sorry baby ..."' with respect and actualy right after my dissapointment we laught and now we are Good friends and we can be friend because we dont feel for eachother exept for Gods love ......

the thing now is that i experiance it severel times now that some of them leave jsut like that..

and it leave an insecurity you can say "'mam "' to wich i try to shake off ...
but it aint easy ..

the last brother that i met ..her on the island ..i was kissed by him after my first serius relationship wich i had with my ex fiancee 9 years. beween those years i met brothers .more about that later..but i didnt feld for them...

well there was one i feld sumthing for , in a way but that was is in distance and it was was strange and mistical ,and He was not verry open ,wich i can understand in a way afterwards but i was open so it was not easy for me but i never met him and maybe if we met it was maybe different than what we had feld or feel at distance or maybe not ,but than later it appeared he was married and it hurt me but i was also happy for him ..and respect and must respect my God..but than again because i had have love for him i continue praying for him wishing him well and encouriaging Him ...and stayed in contact ones in a ask how he was doing..i love him and he is a great insperation to me that he doesnt even know ......and people will know when someone loves you ..cause you feel boss just told me..
she said when some one realy loves you you feel it there is no doubt..

and i tell everyone.. i love you ...and i will try to show it untill the lord takes me as long as thar person doesnt want me to whorship "' the beast"'..

When a brother tells me he is married that is sumthing where i must step back..Because of God but also ..

i experanced manny time with a heartbreak wich even left me problems phisically..( i have to be more carrefull )

that i met someone and they said that they were out of an relationship..and told me that they were done with the relationship..they were just good friend ,3 times they where comming out of a relationship..

and they told me beautifull things ..
and yep this girl here ..

Woman 35 ..
believes those things ..

cause ,love hopes and believes all things..

yep fam i have to work on somthings and be more carrefull..

well believe me..

the last experiance that i had left me so confused....
that im so done now..
i mean
i,m just going for Gods work thats it..

i ask God why this this had to happen ..
why did sumthing that feld and was so beautifull..
why did i feld love wamth and has it been taken away from me so quickly..

i met a beautifull soul brother...
He also came out of an relationship..
he was so shure......
he tell me..

man ..
and he came close that he kissed me cause the church told me that a little kiss is ok..


cause you can give yourself in a kiss to someone..

and i came to find out that apparently there are people out there who just kiss with someone whom they dont have strong feelings for except for ""LUST"' ..
and dont know how som of you pull it off i realy dont know how some people can do it ..shere yourself with someone whitout feeling and truly choosing for someone..

well i did..
when he kissed me i opend up ..
my heart..
and chose for him..
maybe it was to soon ..

no it was to soon..2 monds i knew him..
but you know somthimes you can meet people whom you feel you know.. longer..
when i i feld doubts i prayed with his hand in my hand ..""Lord if he and the mother of his child are ment to be together for restoration.. let Youre Will be done"" ..

what hurt me the most is i told him ..if you start having other feeling for me or its still there for here tell me ok..

than i had to find out by telephone..from the lady herself..
than monds later i heard she cheated on him..but hey he was a sweety himself..
after that , he needed help for an appartment i help him out ..
h ecame living close..
He than later told me that ... he didnt went back to her but went there to live close by his child..
to make a long story short ...he later lied ...and he ended up cheating with a girl that lived next to my appartment as if i was not going to find out...

this hurt me bad ..
he left .. but gave me also the feeling as if i was doing sumthing wrong while he know ..
i ment it with him..

dont think i am naive people..

i just hope and believe and open my heart...

well i learned my lesson not..

NO freestyle..anymore

untill ..

you may now kiss the bride..

(this tread is not finished ..back in 2 minuts)

(this tread is not finish but i am comming back in a 3 minuts)


Well-Known Member
Feb 1, 2005
StreetNationEarth: Seattle
The Meek !Shall! Inherit the Earth.
You Deserve Better: the boy ain't right.

sadly, there don't appear to be near as much fidelity in much of anything these days. and that's a real big "ouch": i hate it.

but there sure has been a lot of practice at making the wrong stuff seem so "real", so "sweet": infidelity abounds.

you know what's always been said about the "path of righteousness": The Boss Tests us constantly. believe what you know and remember that you know it and remember that you believe it.

ouch! sorry about that; he's proven himself. the "real" is to walk away and know that you'll get through any sense of "loss" you will feel.

them "end times" is happenin right now; be careful.

keep the Faith.


Lyon King Admin.
Mar 21, 2001
keep your faith and in da light , only deep with you the true love
people say words and expression to gain enter .

when the real words of love comes your heart will know and accept


Well-Known Member
Apr 26, 2004
thank you for the respond anafrican..and rich.

and when people just leave out of youre life without saying you nothing

without you doing them nothing .... leaving you with questions

I mean you didnt "'play them dirty" or sumthing but it was maybe the otherway around but you still continued loving them reaching out for them asking for them ,but they just leave you..without saying sumthing...Unless they were forced or sumthing than i would understand ...but just leave.....leaving you with questions ....but before they , tell you I love you... i youre my sister,youre my brother Love you miss you, mean i,m talking about some of them also loving you in Christ?.......

but is that love....?

help this ?
is that love..?

whatever ...

i,m hurt...

somthimes i think that some people do certain things to me ..
and because they know that i forgive because i try to follow christ so you must forgive..

and they think..
i can do this because she will and must forgive..because that is what God always wants..
so i just do this or this or push know like ksst.

you dog,you nothing ,i dont need you anymore ..
you know they just...

is this a spirrit of abuse ...that has been started from my past sinds i was a Child...

no !.

i am a new Creature..

this is what i try to say to my self ..everythime the painfull memory comes in..

I,m some one to be loved someone to be Missed...not perfect ..
but special in the eyed of my Creator...not less or more than the other..
and i will be loved by others and will love back ..and will be loved by the One that He has ment for His time..



i always will forgive..
because i want to get rid of the hurt..

but healing takes time...

i dont get agry often ..

but i do get hurt...

though i love Joy ..
and Good things...


whatever ..

those one who supposed to hear..
dont hear me..

i,ll put in my songs ..
and cry out with Him...

and will love them ..

cause i want to go to Sion..
there it will be beautifull..

and if you are lucky ...

you might enjoy some beautifull moments in these times on youre way to Sion..

if people dare to Love One another ..In Christ..

cause there is no Fear in Perfect Love..

the bible says..


Well-Known Member
Feb 11, 2007
Columbus, Ohio
Car Sales Consultant

isnt as simple as James tries to make it. You may want to get a network of women friends to have this conversation with, buy some relationship books. Here is one..
Yesterday, I Cried : Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving (Mass Market Paperback)
~ Iyanla Vanzant (Author)
Just are not alone

Consciousness Raising Online!

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