Black Women : What's Up With Some Black Men Hating Black Women??!

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by Destee, Dec 3, 2002.

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  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hello Everyone,

    Before yall jump on me, we can certainly start a thread asking why Some Black Women Hate Black Men.

    The reason I started this one is because I've been hearing and reading much too much of this kind of talk from Black men (in general).

    There seems to be a great deal of pain inside some of our Brothers and they are taking it out on us. Black women that gave birth to them, nurtured them, sacrificed for them, had children for them ... Black like them.

    I don't understand how negative, blanket statements can be made about Black women, by those who are (or should be) our staunchest defenders. I personally think that white supremacy is at fault. Our Brothers aren't allowed to fully realize their true potential and we, Black women and Black children, are the closest ones to them, the only ones they can really hurt, so they strike out at us ... because the pain must go somewhere. That's what I think, of course I could be wrong.

    Please share what you think. I'd love to be able to see it from all sides.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    I think too ... because we are Black like him ... he sees no way we can ever help him reach or even get closer to that place of "supremacy" that has always eluded him (due to his black skin) ... because currently, white is required for that.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Kemetstry ... I'm not speaking about any particular Brother or comments made about me specifically.

    The topic is a general one, regarding why some Brothers speak and act so negatively toward Sisters. I'd like to try and find, discuss, debate the root cause(s) of this. I am the daughter, sister and mother of Black men. I love Black men and this phenomena throughout our community concerns me greatly.

    I want to know what drives some Black men to even go here, to a place that allows negative energies to fester inside of them toward the one species on this earth that is most like him, the Black female.

    If you have something you'd like to say about me personally and can back it up with facts ... i'm open to that discussion and would not consider it hate. Let's hear it.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. Thandiwe

    Thandiwe Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    kem, you keep mentioning this feminist movement. blaming it for everything when it fits your needs. but if you didn't know, that movement benefitted white women more than black women. we are still under the same conditions.

    i think that black men are believing the hype. look at how society views black women. we are seen as hoes and baby-making machines.
     
  5. Thandiwe

    Thandiwe Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    well we can see how much an asset you were to the feminist movement. and as i stated above, the feminist movement was more beneficial to white women than to black women.

    so you an old rockhead man, now you are showing more and more of yourself. again, gives reason to ignore your rhetoric.
     
  6. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would think it would ti in their somewhere... As you were saying Kem... So back then the sisters weren't supportive of their black brothers either? and what was the hint that you felt they didn't catch... Unfortunately, I wasn't even born then so Please inform...
     
  7. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have been treated very well by my black brothers. As far as the ones that were disrespectful, I took care of that promptly. I'm not living in a fairy tale, I just think women need to carry their fair share of responsibility when it comes to a relationship.

    I carry myself in a way that I will be respected. I carry myself in a confident, friendly manner. I have very precious friendships with men and we often talk about male/female relationships. They tell me I am different from most Black women. I know that isn't true, because most of my female friends are like me.

    Two of my friends and I attended a love and relationship seminar held in Atlanta and sponsored by one of the local radio stations. We attended because one of my good friends was a presenter in one of the seminars. He has written two books.

    There was a panel discussion with local celebrities after the seminars. People from the audience asked questions. We were amazed at the number of Black women with issues. In fact, several sisters gave us dirty looks because some of the drama was quite funny and we couldn't help but find it hilarious. Most of the drama the women were going through could've been avoided.

    I admit I hate the way Black women are depicted in videos, but they couldn't be depicted that way if the women didn't want to get paid.
     
  8. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When was their a movement on Black Advancement. I thought it was the feminist movement. And how did that promote Black Advancement? For a sister to support their brothers as well as themselves. Doesn't history show that the Black male was the first to turn their backs on us as opposed to the Black female. What was the cause and effect behind that? Or is that other column?
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Thanks everyone for responding. Especially good to be reading you again Shaneak, welcome home :love:

    Shaneak you are absolutely right. The feminist movement was not about the advancement of black folk, it really had nothing to do with us ... other than using us to sell their agenda.

    I'd like to get to the root of the problem, if we can. Where it started, how we got here. Kemetstry suggested that it's a natural process due to the fact that black women are oftentimes the heads of familes. While this may in fact contribute in some small way to this big picture, I don't think it's "natural" for a child to hate its mother. If children are hating their mothers, you can best believe the overwhelming majority are hating their fathers as well. If our children are hating us like this, what is the root cause of it?

    While we discuss children above, the topic is not about children. I'm talking grown men who are displaying this type of behaviour. Kemetstry, are you suggesting that I look back into the childhood of these men and find that they were raised by single black women and that will be the root of their pain? Is it really that simple? Is it all their mother's fault?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Kemetstry ... i'm using the word hate for the sake of discussion ... certainly there are varying levels of disdain ... you can call it what you want ... just want us to be on the same page.

    now i aint no psychologist or nuth'n ... but it seems a bit of a stretch to blame the fact that many adult, black men are hating black women ... because they were raised by black women ... it seems more logical that they would hate the parent (more often the male) that was not there for them on a daily basis ... but again i aint no psychologist or nuth'n ...

    I personally think the problem is deeper than who was the authority figure in their life while growing up. I think it's rooted in the fact that black men have forever been "inferior" to white men and having "white things ... women, children, perceived status, etc." ... lifts their self esteem in some way. Unfortunately, in gaining these things for themselves ... "black things ... women, children, perceived status (or lack thereof), etc." ... must be sacrificed. Do you think this plays any part at all Kemetstry?

    :heart:

    Destee

    ps ... i have never met a black man that admitted to hating his mother or even having the slightest bit of disdain toward her ... actually, it's quite the opposite ... the black men i know would die, kill, lie, cheat and steal ... for their Mommas.
     
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