Black Relationships : What's good about marriage for men?

[Khasm13]

1. no more crazy h0es
2. no more 3 times a week pizza nights
3.cheaper insurance
4.better promotional opportunities
5. hopefully...no more apprehension in terms of fully opening up
6. a combined income
7. no more crazy h0es

one love
khasm

 

[kente417mojo]

I think that since your first Marriage was wack , you have become a commitment-phobe. Kente', I think that you do have some relationship issues fo' sho- did your wife cheat on you?. You seem to feel mighty strongly on the subject- that, and other things pertaining to relationships.

Wrong again. She didn't cheat. Brother Isaiah said something interesting, that he didn't imply that marriage was a business arrangement. That's exactly what it is...a business arrangement. You are signing a contract that merges two lives into one. Honestly, I do have marriage issues...not commitment issues. I fully understand my stance on marriage and relationships, and they are very realistic. The truth is, marriage is a business arrangement. Other than that it's nothing more than a piece of paper that the government uses to make your relationship valid. You asked if I care what the bible and GOD says. Your talking to the wrong person when it comes to the bible. I'm not even sure if the bible is true. I believe in God, but I'm not sure I believe in the bible. Even if God wants us to marry, is marriage this day and age what he had in mind? The state of marriage is probably not what God had in mind if that is his wish for us. Really, I'm not even trying to make this into the Gold-digger issue. I'm trying to see why people think marriage is beneficially to men, and I still haven't heard one thing that's beneficial or one thing that a man can't get without marriage. I'm not trying to down women because honestly, why would women choose to be with a man that doesn't want to marry, when they know that there are guys that will marry them and provide all those securities after marriage. I know many men that don't agree or see the point in marriage, but yet they are married. Why? Because men know that there aren't that many women that will stay in a relationship without marriage, so they bite the bullet and give in and hope for the best.

1. no more crazy h0es
2. no more 3 times a week pizza nights
3.cheaper insurance
4.better promotional opportunities
5. hopefully...no more apprehension in terms of fully opening up
6. a combined income
7. no more crazy h0es


1. Since when is any woman not crazy.
2. There's no guarantee your woman will cook for you. Even if she does, she can do that without marriage.
3. Is that worth losing half your stuff?
4. Not sure about this one
5. Marriage has never made anyone more open about anything. If you can't be open without marriage, then you shouldn't be getting married.
6. You can have that without marriage
7. Many men have been stabbed, shot, run over and burned in their beds while being married. Marriage does not change a woman's attitude.


You're right 1hotvirgowoman, I am very concerned with the way men are portrayed. We get thrown under the bus by society. If we don't want to marry a woman that we are seeing, the first thought is that we can't commit. We get labeled as dogs and when we do commit, a lot of us get screwed if things go bad. We get the short end of the stick in relationships because we get 50% or more of the responsibility and women have the options of doing more or less depending on what she wants. Women don't have to cook anymore if they don't want to. They don't have to clean if they don't want to. Everything with a women is a bonus. There are women out there that have respect and are proud to have a man that wants them...but there are not many. Men have to provide. Men have to take on 50% of everything, including domestic duties...or he's not a "real man". It sucks because the moment we realize as men, that we are of some value, we'll be alright. We need to stop acting as if the woman that we're dating is the best we can do. Women are beautiful, and a good woman is a real treasure, but most women are not worth marrying.

 

[1hotvirgowoman]

Wrong again. She didn't cheat. Brother Isaiah said something interesting, that he didn't imply that marriage was a business arrangement. That's exactly what it is...a business arrangement. You are signing a contract that merges two lives into one. Honestly, I do have marriage issues...not commitment issues. I fully understand my stance on marriage and relationships, and they are very realistic. The truth is, marriage is a business arrangement. Other than that it's nothing more than a piece of paper that the government uses to make your relationship valid. You asked if I care what the bible and GOD says. Your talking to the wrong person when it comes to the bible. I'm not even sure if the bible is true. I believe in God, but I'm not sure I believe in the bible. Even if God wants us to marry, is marriage this day and age what he had in mind? The state of marriage is probably not what God had in mind if that is his wish for us. Really, I'm not even trying to make this into the Gold-digger issue. I'm trying to see why people think marriage is beneficially to men, and I still haven't heard one thing that's beneficial or one thing that a man can't get without marriage. I'm not trying to down women because honestly, why would women choose to be with a man that doesn't want to marry, when they know that there are guys that will marry them and provide all those securities after marriage. I know many men that don't agree or see the point in marriage, but yet they are married. Why? Because men know that there aren't that many women that will stay in a relationship without marriage, so they bite the bullet and give in and hope for the best.

1. no more crazy h0es
2. no more 3 times a week pizza nights
3.cheaper insurance
4.better promotional opportunities
5. hopefully...no more apprehension in terms of fully opening up
6. a combined income
7. no more crazy h0es


1. Since when is any woman not crazy.
2. There's no guarantee your woman will cook for you. Even if she does, she can do that without marriage.
3. Is that worth losing half your stuff?
4. Not sure about this one
5. Marriage has never made anyone more open about anything. If you can't be open without marriage, then you shouldn't be getting married.
6. You can have that without marriage
7. Many men have been stabbed, shot, run over and burned in their beds while being married. Marriage does not change a woman's attitude.


You're right 1hotvirgowoman, I am very concerned with the way men are portrayed. We get thrown under the bus by society. If we don't want to marry a woman that we are seeing, the first thought is that we can't commit. We get labeled as dogs and when we do commit, a lot of us get screwed if things go bad. We get the short end of the stick in relationships because we get 50% or more of the responsibility and women have the options of doing more or less depending on what she wants. Women don't have to cook anymore if they don't want to. They don't have to clean if they don't want to. Everything with a women is a bonus. There are women out there that have respect and are proud to have a man that wants them...but there are not many. Men have to provide. Men have to take on 50% of everything, including domestic duties...or he's not a "real man". It sucks because the moment we realize as men, that we are of some value, we'll be alright. We need to stop acting as if the woman that we're dating is the best we can do. Women are beautiful, and a good woman is a real treasure, but most women are not worth marrying.

Calm down Kente!!!. Man, you got burned for real's. Have you always felt this way or did your point of view change after you got Married?. Why did YOU get Married if you felt soo strongly against it?

 

[panafrica]

1. no more crazy h0es
2. no more 3 times a week pizza nights
3.cheaper insurance
4.better promotional opportunities
5. hopefully...no more apprehension in terms of fully opening up
6. a combined income
7. no more crazy h0es

Actually I still eat pizza about 3 times a week!

 

[kente417mojo]

Calm down Kente!!!. Man, you got burned for real's. Have you always felt this way or did your point of view change after you got Married?. Why did YOU get Married if you felt soo strongly against it?

Calm down???? I'm not mad. Just tried to answer everything before I went to lunch. I didn't get burned. Please don't mistake my point of view for bitterness or anger toward women...because it's not that. My ex was one of the best women that I've ever met and she is still a wonderful person. I love women, I just hate what they've become.

I've was never really sure if I wanted to get married. I was more or less trying to do it before I was completely ready because my ex was pregnant, but I did love her a lot. It wasn't that I was forced. I was a little pressured because I really was trying to do what I THOUGHT was the right thing.

After marriage though, I started to see why I didn't want it anymore. Why it was all about the woman...not eachother. Then I think about what soooo many married men have told me. There's always an acception to the rule, but I don't think marriage is a good idea for men unless you are definately marrying someone that has your well-being and happiness in mind. How many of us men are ever certain about that? It's ok for women, because they can recover a lot easier if they marry the wrong man. Men, many have to start over if they make the same mistake. It's just not worth it.