Black Relationships : What's good about marriage for men?

kente417mojo said:
Yes Carrie, you would be more secure than you are now. How many women have you heard of having their stuff taken in divorce? Not many. You have the security of the government behind you. Especially if you have a child by that man. I think it would be hard for him to take your home in court. I never said that all women are lookin to come up, but you have that option if you get pissed in case of divorce. This is what gets me. Men don't have a leg to stand on. It's not just Cali either. It's all around the country. It doesn't matter where I moved, under no circumstances would I get married. The only way I'd change my mind is if the laws were totally redone and even across the table, which will never happen.

Added to my past post:

Just to make it clear to, I know a lot of women do not agree with some of the laws that have to do with marriage, but you all benefit from them. I just think that more women should see why so many good men do not want to get married. Marriage is a selfish gesture. No one marries someone for the other person's sake. It's for yourself. A man's choice not to get married is also for himself. It's for the protection of his happiness, assets and sanity. That's the security that we don't get from marriage, so why give it up.


Why so bitter on Marriage Kente?. And I have a question for you- How can Marriage be an selfish act when it is supposed to be a merging of two Faithful individuals?. Marriage is not selfish- Marriage is a Union, a bond fromed to be unbreakable but yet it is. That is my opinion but if you could, please explain why it is Selfish.
 
In addition to what I posted above, when I entered my Marriage with my Husband, I entered it with US in mind. That is the way it's supposed to be. Not US and THEM. True, according to the Laws nowadays, Women DO have the Upperhand when it comes to Material Possessions, but that is not what makes us get Married. True, you don't need to be Married to Cook, Clean and take care of your mate but I would think that it would have more meaning if you were Married- again you have security. It would be a lot easier for you as a couple to just break up and move on, if you are Married you have a bigger commitment, you have the Bible backing you up, not just the Gov't.. I don't want to get preachy here but, the Bible also says to not "Live in Sin" , you know what that means so I won't break it down for you. Do you not care about what God says?
 
1hotvirgowoman said:
Why so bitter on Marriage Kente?. And I have a question for you- How can Marriage be an selfish act when it is supposed to be a merging of two Faithful individuals?. Marriage is not selfish- Marriage is a Union, a bond fromed to be unbreakable but yet it is. That is my opinion but if you could, please explain why it is Selfish.

On the contrary 1hotvirgowoman, I'm not bitter at all. I was married and I was one of those guys that got away with my skin. I just stop and think about it and say "why did I ever put myself in that position". I don't have anything to be bitter about. The fact is though, I could've been screwed if my ex was a greedy *****. Marriage is selfish because like I said, you are only getting married for yourself. Yes, marriage is supposed to be a union between two faithful individuals, but let's be realistic...it's not. It's a crock. It's a lie. That's why so many fail, because people, men/ women are treacherous and selfish. If it wasn't selfish, why do so may people get mad when the person they are with doesn't want to marry them? Where is the understanding? Where is the union? People, mostly women, get all bent out of shape when she wants to get married, but he doesn't..or he wants to wait longer than she does. She contemplates leaving and whtether he's the one she wants to be with. That's selfish because you're forcing you agenda on someone else for you own selfish reason, without looking at their position. Tell me this, if your husband said "I don't want to get married", would you have been pissed?
 
kente417mojo said:
On the contrary 1hotvirgowoman, I'm not bitter at all. I was married and I was one of those guys that got away with my skin. I just stop and think about it and say "why did I ever put myself in that position". I don't have anything to be bitter about. The fact is though, I could've been screwed if my ex was a greedy *****. Marriage is selfish because like I said, you are only getting married for yourself. Yes, marriage is supposed to be a union between two faithful individuals, but let's be realistic...it's not. It's a crock. It's a lie. That's why so many fail, because people, men/ women are treacherous and selfish. If it wasn't selfish, why do so may people get mad when the person they are with doesn't want to marry them? Where is the understanding? Where is the union? People, mostly women, get all bent out of shape when she wants to get married, but he doesn't..or he wants to wait longer than she does. She contemplates leaving and whtether he's the one she wants to be with. That's selfish because you're forcing you agenda on someone else for you own selfish reason, without looking at their position. Tell me this, if your husband said "I don't want to get married", would you have been pissed?

In a way yes, I would have been but only because I wanted to raise our child as a couple. Now, had we not had a baby in tow, I would not have bugged him at all. In fact, I was mad chill on the subject. As I stated before, I entered this Marriage to try and establish US. See this is the thing Kente- you Married the wrong one. Marriage is NOT BAD, not all Women are out for your "Riches", the way I see it is I can make my own Chedda and Spend it Too - why do I want yours?. Honestly, if a chick gets pissed because her man won't front her a ring then I would Run too!. I think that since your first Marriage was wack , you have become a commitment-phobe. Kente', I think that you do have some relationship issues fo' sho- did your wife cheat on you?. You seem to feel mighty strongly on the subject- that, and other things pertaining to relationships.
 

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