Black Women : WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL?

soulosophy

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Oct 21, 2006
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The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women

Have you ever wondered why your relationships tend to all ends up the same? Have you ever analyzed why the men you choose are in some way alike? If you are a Black woman, was your father absent either physically or emotionally as you grew up? Are you a male intimately involved with a woman who has this background? Then, Jonetta Rose Barras', Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl? The Impact of Fatherlessness On Black Women, is for you.

What happens to a little girl who grows up without a father? Can she ever feel truly loved and fully alive? Does she ever heal--or is she doomed to live a wounded, fragmented life and to pass her wounds down to her own children? Fatherlessness afflicts nearly half the households in America, and it has reached epidemic proportions in the African-American community, with especially devastating consequences for black women. In this powerful book, accomplished journalist Jonetta Rose Barras breaks the code of silence and gives voice to the experiences of America's fatherless women--starting with herself.

Passionate and shockingly frank, Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl? is the first book to explore the plight of America's fatherless daughters from the unique perspective of the African-American community. This brilliant volume gives all fatherless daughters the knowledge that they are not alone and the courage to overcome the hidden pain they have suffered for so long.

Synopsis

What happens to a little girl who grows up without a father? Can she ever feel truly loved and fully alive? Does she ever heal—or is she doomed to live a wounded, fragmented life and to pass her wounds down to her own children? Fatherlessness afflicts nearly half the households in America, and it has reached epidemic proportions in the African-American community, with especially devastating consequences for black women. In this powerful book, accomplished journalist Jonetta Rose Barras breaks the code of silence and gives voice to the experiences of America's fatherless women—starting with herself.

Passionate and shockingly frank, Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl? is the first book to explore the plight of America's fatherless daughters from the unique perspective of the African-American community. This brilliant volume gives all fatherless daughters the knowledge that they are not alone and the courage to overcome the hidden pain they have suffered for so long.

Integrating a personal narrative with other women's testimonies and research findings with self-help remedies, Barras sheds light on the profound impact fatherlessness can have on black women. In her 30s, Barras learned from her mother that the man she had thought was her father was not. Though stunned by the news, Barras also believed it explained much of the loneliness she endured as a child. She began to try to come to terms with the guilt she felt not only about her father's departure, but about her ruptured relationships with two surrogate fathers, each of whom left her mother while Barras was still a girl. She also recounts her heartrending efforts to mend broken trust with her mother while forging a bond with her own fatherless daughter. The study deepens in subsequent chapters, as Barras intertwines the diverse voices of other black women who grew up without their fathers. Unfortunately, her ambitious effort is marred by overly broad conclusions. She attributes a vast range of dysfunctional behaviors--from promiscuous sexual relationships and a longing for motherhood to the inability to trust and uncontrolled fits of "rage, anger, depression"--to fatherless women. And her reliance on simple solutions at times minimizes the issue's gravity. Her work is stronger when she locates the chasm between black men and women in gender war stereotypes of "good women" and "bad men" and affirmative action policies that have allowed black women upward mobility while moving black men out of the workforce. Her study should stir useful debate.

(2002 by One World/Ballantine, ISBN-13: 9780345434838)
 
....Unfortunately, her ambitious effort is marred by overly broad conclusions. She attributes a vast range of dysfunctional behaviors--from promiscuous sexual relationships and a longing for motherhood to the inability to trust and uncontrolled fits of "rage, anger, depression"--to fatherless women. And her reliance on simple solutions at times minimizes the issue's gravity. Her work is stronger when she locates the chasm between black men and women in gender war stereotypes of "good women" and "bad men" ....


According to the critique, the author made some "broad conclusions;" but in many cases, those, seeming, "generalizations" are rooted in fact. I have witnessed and even experienced some of those factors mentioned.

Unfortunately, it often takes much of a lifetime of pain and poor choices to realize and identify one's own emotional, mental, social and sexual pathologies as they relate to our formative and adult environments.

After-all, we are all products of our experiences and exposures.

Good read and good topic.
 
I have read this before. I was born oow, and I never knew my father, I'm the only person in my family to hold that distinction. As a kid of course you don't know the lasting affect it will have on you as you grow up and attempt to have your own relationship. Unlike many women, I didn't get off into sex, let alone having kids oow etc. Anyway, the impact of a fatherless girl is more damaging I think then ppl are willing to believe or even admit. A father in the home is just as important as a mother, I feel too many women minimize the importance of a father, b/c she got with a man who wasn't interested in being with her, rather or not she had his kid(s).
 

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