Black Poetry : What We Gonna Do?

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by GhostDog15, Feb 23, 2004.

  1. GhostDog15

    GhostDog15 Active Member MEMBER

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    this is my vary first peom, thought i might get a hobby, so i thought i may get into it... im horriable at it, you guys all kick so much ***, i can only dream to be as good as any of you honesty, yall got talent. Last year, i put in a booking cell for 9 hours for rightful suspention, 100% pure racisal profiling. anyways heres my peom, please tell me what yal think.. its my vary first. I call it what we gonna do?

    What we gonna do?

    How far we got, My grandma’s thought?
    Equailty is all they want, but why not?

    That’s all I wanna see, One day, one night.
    When I can walk though a mall under a rentacops sight.

    If you can, why can’t I, why can’t I?

    Maybe thats all I can be,
    A flee stuck in the sea,

    A soldier wit the skin.
    Only with the power within

    Or is it without?
    The ****** shell is that what this **** is about all about?
    I couldn’t help but have to shout
    .
    The ****** shell,
    The reason why I got thrown in the cell
    Renting a movie for my parents to yell
    A reasonable right to suspect is all they tell

    The 5o’s way to get nigs off the street
    Throw em in the cell till they are old meat
    The way it feels is something to reap,
    Cryin like a *****, in that cold seat.

    9 hours is how long they made me sweat,
    Imaging the f***s happing next.

    But hey, not like us ******* can sue,
    All we do is live and die, exist like a foo
    You can’t say this **** happens to you too.
    But hey, we just *******… what we gonna do?


    tell me what you think please? i wanna get good i this, i was hopping yall will help me, i can make more
     
  2. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hello and Welcome:wave:
    This is a very nice poem you have dropped
    some of your words are in ( * * * * )
    because they are on our banned word list
    please review our Poetic Etiquette above
    so we can get the full feel of your flows
    with out the curse words:)
    you are welcome to come to Open Mic in voice chat
    No hold bars..uncensor..and speak your peace
    we have a Poetry Slam this Friday..come and flow it openly
    on the Open Mic
    Peace
    BlueWater:heart:
     
  3. GhostDog15

    GhostDog15 Active Member MEMBER

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    yaright, but for the friday night open mic thing, would i have to reword the banned words like for ****, say crap and all that, cuase it would kinda sound funny if i say that ya know
     
  4. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ghost hehehe
    ummm you gon sing it too :look: :D lol
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    well felt nice scribe
    indeed come to chat blow da mic
    flow let it go do yo thing
    poetic vibe u can bring
    tyte drop
     
  6. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    twas nice to see you jump on out and try
    liked the rhymes
    look forward to seeing/reading some more
    keep writing (and reading)
    you can only grow better and stronger
    and more secure in yourself...
    thanks for sharing
     
  7. caramelpython

    caramelpython Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :teach: Other than the ***** words ya flow is tight continue to give us this lovely flow indeed.
     
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