and my warm thoughts right now, what I can offer you is empathy and gratitude for coming forth with your honesty. I know first hand what it feels like to swim in dirty water and try to come out clean.
"IN PARTICULAR....those who have no "mate" who is also CONSCIOUS or those who are surrounded by those who either don't WANT TO KNOW or those too sick to KNOW that they DON'T KNOW"
But this thread ain't about me, it's about giving you a hand in rejuvenating yourself.
As a caretaker, caregiver, and conscious member of the Moors of America (I'm studying Nobel Drew Ali right now); I recommend using whatever resources are at your disposal right this second. For instance, if you have sea salt in your home. Place 1 cup of sea salt in your bath water and sit there for a good while. If you have a bit of disposable income may I suggest adding the following essential oils: balsam, petitgrain, lavender, myrtle, ho wood, and tangerine. The latter is a list of ingredients used to release old energy and rejuvenate the spirit.
Also, make sure your body is getting the vitamins and minerals it needs, when the body is stressed this get stripped very quickly. Can you get Redox tablets where you are? The Vitamin B & C complex which I recommend for stress.
Get a therapeutic massage! (I'm so going to take my own advice asap) because the adrenal glands excrete cortisol into the body, and during periods of prolonged stress and trauma, this damages muscle tissue. Give the muscles of your body a helping hand (literally) and detox them manually.
If you can afford it, I would recommend a therapist 2 a month; especially if you deal with unnatural levels of stress.
I'm sure that monitor your diet appropriately so I won't go into that.
Crying is healing, but cry with a purpose and if you can write about your anger that can help. Lastly, exercise. Whatever you do make time for a physical activity that you enjoy. Exercise will produce the happy hormones from your brain and help balance your endocrine system.
Lastly, move your mind off of what ails you, and do it immediately. Let go of the guilt, you deserve time for your life and for your happiness. So, picture in your mind what makes you happy. Look for little things first, and then something bigger. Plan to do something for yourself that will make you happy, and it doesn't have to serve others, or involve helping anyone!
I wish I had more to offer you SiStar, but since I'm in a real similar boat, what I can extend to you is the love from my soul, and a cosmic hug to let you know you are so very deeply appreciated and you will make it through. BELIEVE IT.
Thank You SiS phynxofkmt!
I DO have sea salt and can do that. Also, I am in the position to get the other things you suggest and will do 2morrow!
Many of the other things you mention I KNOW are lacking and most days, I just DON'T have the energy to do. I come home to family who are in need or am just too overwhelmed from all I've taken in in the course of a day in my "job".
Saddest thing of all...is I have the vitamins, the cleaners, the exercise bike yet...there is a part of me that just wants OUT of this madness.
I KNOW nothing else except HONESTY ...plain and simple and also KNOWING this is not a "good thing" in such a time as these.
I DO NOT practice healthy ANYTHING most days save my meditations of that which I desire to BE and "my best is NOT good enough".....
"my fault" in the end. "It's hard, it's hard, it's hard" and HARD is something I am TOO intimately familiar with.
My muscles have been aching more and more and the resources...EMOTIONAL first and foremost, is NOT sufficient to sustain me.
I'm afraid I am living a "death wish". I DON'T like it nor desire to have it...yet...it SEEMS to be there...when I check my own behaviors.
It's 2 am and I feel TOO late to be taking a sea salt bath even tho I have the ability to do so. I DO see a "therapist" yet, HE is an Afreekan Descendant of the christian faith who has "made it" out and I don't think he really "get's it". It's interesting cause I KNOW he is learning more from me than the other way around. Thank goodness he does not charge me!
I will go and see him 2 morrow as well THEN...I WILL do the sea-salt.
I prolly need another day to purchase the items you suggest so I can go the next step.
Thanks again SiS and PLEASE DON'T STOP sending out Loving Vibes and Energy for the Survival of my SPIRIT while I'm still on this side...PLEASE..dont' give up on me even tho today...it may SEEM I've given up on self.
I N.E.E.D you ALL....at least...those who are TRULY interested in the CAUSE!
M.E.