Black Teenagers : What should I do?

Discussion in 'Black Teenagers - Teenz Exprezzed!' started by erotica223, Nov 3, 2005.

  1. erotica223

    erotica223 Member MEMBER

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    This is my 1st time posting in the teen part and I've come with a very serious matter. Over the summer I was raped repeatedly by someone i thought i loved and trusted. He was staying with my family for the summer because he claimed he was homeless. I lost my virginity to this person, but afterwards due to the pain it caused I decided i didnt like sex and diidnt want to continue having it. I let myself be pressured into doing it a few more times before I put my fot down and said "no." He wouldn't take no for an answer and proceeded to rape me. He did it not once, but all summer long, keepin me at bay by threating to kill me and my family. I knew he had the resources to do this so I did what he said. He currupted my mind with evil thoughts and tried to get me to join a cult like religion. He told me he had a demon in his body and God wanted me to cast it out. It also turned out that he had multiple personalities, or so he said. He would try to slit my wrists or cut my neck. I lived very close to train tracks and he took great plaesure in dragging me there and threatening to throw me in front of a train. Being around him and his craziness for so long began to affect my mind. People began to believe that I was crazy, while all along he played the innocent role. Everynight he would rape me without a condom and eventually he got me pregnant. I never told anyone about the abuse that I indured so they assumed that I was just running around being fast and ended up pregnant. My mom wouldn't let me get an abortion and I didnt have the money to do it. My family treated me like an outcast. My mom barely spoke to me. I began to believe the evil things that this person put into my haed. When he left to go back home he told me that i had to come. Wanted to keep my family safe, I agreed to go. I no longer cared whether I lived or not, in my mind my life was over, but my family meant everything to me. My mom wouldn't let me go (thank god) I knew she wouldn't. He told me i had to catch a train and get to him as soon as possible. I didnt want to go. I was scared. He left me messages on my phone which i pretended not to get because he had broken my phone earliar in the summer. Eventually the messages became violent so i called him. He told me his cousin would kill me if i even thought of having an abortion. I had to call every day, but eventually i stopped. Later i told my familywhat happened. Now, I'm 5 months pregnant and I want to press charges. I dont want this to happen to anyone else. But can he get custody if i put the baby up for adoption?
     
  2. d-money

    d-money New Member MEMBER

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    just pray about it

    That is so terrible
    But unfortunately if you put your baby up for adoption he might be able to get the child because is the father but if you tell the policeor your judge that he raped u they might not let the father have him.Also you can put the child up for adoption without the father's consent. I don't like that idea of you putting your baby up for adoption because the social security system can really hurt or damage a child physically,emotionly,and mentally.So what ever you do i will pray for u because God is the only one that can heal your soul and your sorrows.

    I want you to sat this pray every night or time u start remembering what happened to u:
    God i need your strenght i know u can do it so please help me to forget about the things that has happened to me in the past. Also help me to move forward without looking back God also help to make better choices about the things i do and say. lord word my mouth lord and my steps. In jesus name i pray amen.(u can add on to this pray a s the lord farthers you in your pray life.)
     
  3. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Listen sista
    This is more serious and open than most people would be
    I honor respect and pray for you
    What you have been through is horrible
    But putting your baby up for adoption will cause a ripple effect
    I mean from your stand point I can see why you would want to erase memories
    Yet a child is a child no matter the cause and that child will feel this and what you do in the future for the rest of its life
    God will bless you I promise aybe not now but you know God works in mysterious ways he isnt there when you want but when he know you needs and I know God will be there for you sister

    May God bless you and your child 4ever!!
    Stay strong my young nubian sista
     
  4. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sweetheart, my heart goes out to you and your unborn child. How old are you? The sexual encounters before you resisted may be considered statutory rape-depending on your age. Sadly, if you lived together, and were sexually active, the law will consider this a relationship, if you are of age. If you told him no before, or during the encounters, yes, that is rape. Your best bet is to get together with your family, discuss this, and determine whether not you will have an abortion. Ultimately it is up to you. Do you want to be reminded of this monster when you look in this childs eyes, or is your love for your baby strong enough to overlook this fact? Your best bet is to not put his name on the birth certificate, this will give him the opportunity to get equal custody of the child. He may be mental, and your baby doesn't need exposure to his lifestyle...let alone you. You have options. Notify the authorities to keep an eye on your family's houses. You can get into a victim-witness protection program, or move away, at least until your child is born, if you go that route. Depending which state you're in, he may be able to re-adopt his own child, upon good behavior, and financial stability. The psychological torment, and rape itself are signs of CONTROL. Don't buy into this. Do what you feel is best for yourself. You can also consider giving partial custody to a trusted relative who is unknown to him, if attachment and memories get the best of you. Youy may get a lot of posts saying different things, just use your best judgement, and you will be in my prayers/wishful thoughts. Take care:hearts4: :star: :angel1:
     
  5. Lloyd

    Lloyd Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Jesus is in control,it may seem easy to say but i wish i can do more than talking
     
  6. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    go directly to the police!
     
  7. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree with brother James sister erotica223, report that animal to the police, and get counseling for what you went through.
     
  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister Erotica ... Hello and Welcome ... :wave:

    Sister ... how old are you, how old is he, and how old is your Mother?

    Is your Father in the picture ... you didn't mention him?

    Also, what religious cult did he try to get you to join?

    To answer your question, i don't think you have to worry about him getting custody of the baby. Aint too many low down dirty no good rapists, going to court to get custody of the child that was conceived as a result of their assault. Nawww ... you aint gotta worry about this happening.

    If you give me the answers to the above questions, i can respond better. For example, what i'd say would be different, if you're 13 or 19.

    What would not be different, no matter your age, is my attempt to encourage you to keep your head up, and know that this is not your fault. Even though you have the weight of it on your shoulders, you aint spoze ta be carrying it alone ... and you don't have to ... you got us! :)

    Looking forward to your response Sister.

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. GrandHustle

    GrandHustle Well-Known Member MEMBER

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  10. erotica223

    erotica223 Member MEMBER

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    Thank you

    Thank you for all of the advice given. I'm only 16. My mom is 36. I feel like this person found my families weakness and gained on it. Together, my family and I have been through hell and back. I was homeless for most of my life. we fell upon hard times when I was younger and things became worse as time passed. My mom did everything she could to keep our family together. When he came to us we all loved him and trusted him. we treated him like member of the family. He knew they we would never want anyone on the street. He knew that we would help him. My family got him connections to jobs, and interviews, but eventually I realized though no one else did, that he wasn't interested in a job or even a place to live. No one knew he was crazy or what he was doing to me. Like I said before, they thought I was goin crazy because all I talked about was demons and I only read the bible, which he quoted things from completely out of context and turned everything around. From him doin that I began to fear God, but not in the way the bible says to. I thought God hated me and was punishing me. Before this I had gone to church every sunday and wednsday and I had a pure love for God in my heart. Now it's like I don't know what to think. Part of me still feels like I disobeyed God by not casting that "demon" or demonic personality out. I know it's not true, but I can't get it out of my head. It's too late for an abortion. I'm 5 months. My family wants me to keep it. I don't know if i'm strong enough to do that. I'm also not really financially able to do that. My mom says she'll take care of it and I feel like I'm disappointing her by thinking about adoption. But I feel like I have my whole life ahead of me. I want to go to a six year college and night school. I always wanted to live in a dorm with my friends, how can I do that with a baby? I know its not the childs fault this happened. I just feel like this man set out to ruin my life and succeeded. If I have to keep it in order to keep him from getting custody I will. No one deserves to go through what I went through. Which is my main reason for wanting to press charges. But he doesn't know that I still have the baby and I don't want him to know. If I press charges he will. Also, I fdon't know how to prove he's mentally ill, if he was for real, so what if my case is dismissed? Right now only my immediate family, a few cousins and a few friends know what happened. Most of my family and friends don't even know about the baby. I don't really want everyone knowing what happened, but i know by not tellin I'm causing myself to be considered many things by them. Especially, since no one ever expected this of me. I was always the one tellin the others to be careful and not to get pregnant. My brother's and sister's don't know either so i'm dealing with my little sister calling me a ****, but no one pays any attention to her because she's ld. I never even wanted to have sex in the first place. I wanted to wear white at my wedding. I should have never let myself be pressured, but at least I was doing it safely. But when he began raping me there was no protection used. I believe that he wanted me to become pregnant. He thought he could trap me. He wanted me to leave my family for him. He said I loved them too much. His personalities would tell me that as soon as I began to love him the way i did befor he was cruel to me, everything would end, but I had learned before that that I knew nothing about love and decided I would never say those words to someone again unless I was absolutely positive that I meant it and knew what I was saying. I've been through alot in my life but this is by far the worst. I lost my religion, my sense of security, and sometimes I feel like I've lost my whole life. I wish I would have told someone sooner. I pray that no one ever has to go through this. His cult like religion was derived from the pentacostal religion (to all pentacosts, know that I am not saying ur religion is like a cult). His family was pentacostal, but I don't know what he was. He vclaimed to be pentacostal too. But I think he was just crazy. He said God wanted him to have sex with me because it made him stronger against the demon. At night I couldn't go to sleep unless they raped me first. I would lie there looking at the ceiling praying for it to be over quick. They told me i was on a mission for God. They said I had to save him from going to hell. I look back now and think, why did I endure that? Truthfully, I really don't know. I let myself be sucked into it, until the point where I began hallucinating with him. I would think that God was speaking through him, especially after his parents (who supposedly kicked him out and put him on the streets) who ministers told me that God speaks through the highest christian in the household, which he claimed to be. I look at myself and all I've been through and one part of me wants to shout out to the world, look what he did to me, I'm ready to press charges, go on montel, do what ever it takes to prevent this from happening again, but another part says leave it alone, keep the baby and yourself safe and live your life. I don't know what to do. I'm definently getting counseling. I want my nightmares and fears to go away. I get really scared when ppls facial expressins change quickly, it reminds me of the personalities changing. I also get scared when ppl wink at me because the demonic personality would do that when he came to surface. I really just want my life and my religion back. I want to know that God's not mad at me. I need to know that I didn't disobey him, and that I can still go to heaven. I'm scared that maybe that was him that i was hearing (though I know in my heart it wasn't) and maybe he's as mean as I think he is. But then if he's not maybe he's mad that I thought he was. I'm so confused!
     
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