Black Relationships : what should i do

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Peachez~n~Rhyme, Oct 6, 2004.

  1. Peachez~n~Rhyme

    Peachez~n~Rhyme Member MEMBER

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    my boyfriend is a transexual but he like women and Im scared to go out with him in public for fear of what people might say. But lately It seems like everytime I call him he is with one of his "homeboys" Now I dont know what to think because when we first started going out he aint have no friends but now he got boys runnin all up and in and out of his house. Now look im only 15 years old and have my whole life ahead of me but I personally think that he if gay. I mean if he could be a transexual why cant he be gay. I know im young and it's weird that i fell in love with a transexual but I known him every since i was young and when he was a man and I always loved him and i still love him he may be a little strange but I love

    \what should i do about this situation?????????????????????
    :tweety: :bye: :bullseye: :great: :danger:
     
  2. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Um, just asking for a little clarification. You say you've known him ever since you were young and he was a man... So, he's had the operation that makes him a woman? Or, he's still a man, but wants to be a woman, but likes women? And now you think he's gay? Okay, I'm confused.
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    at your age you should go to school and get an education!
    forget about this person and wait until you grow up to get a boyfriend.
    you are getting way ahead of your self.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    school should be your top priority
    your young of 15 in age and have a lot of time for what u feel is love
    for a person which you seem unsure of and why get into a deep deep
    hole for what you may not be ready for trying to understand this at this time
    is really not time but getting a education and setting a career goal means way
    more then love or a boyfriend they come and go but wise wisdom and knowledge
    is forever and carry you a long way let all that go from your mind and beware of
    what he is or wish to be and know your safety means more it's a feeling all young
    teenagers get and go through you only 15 this situation is nothing but a feeling
    every young lady have at some point worry about grades and goals in life set a
    standard and move on pass this right now ......
    Good luck in this to young to understand mix of man or transexual drama.
    let it go and focus on school
     
  5. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh, shoot, I missed that part about being 15. When I was 15, I was telling people to "save the drama fo' yo' mama." Finish high school and worry about all that other stuff later.
     
  6. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It's really easy for everyone to simply dismiss your issue telling you to concentrate on school just because you're 15. That is true, that school should be your first priority, but we all know that if someone feels something in their heart they will follow it.

    I try not to give direct advice to anyone on here...

    If I were in your situation, I would take a step back from the relationship. Let him know you still want to be his friend. Just because you love him does not mean you have to BE with him, know what I mean? You have obviously been his friend for a long time, so you don't have to stop being friends now - but maybe you should re-think being his "girlfriend". He may be looking at you as a really GOOD friend and not someone he wants to "go with". You have to understand that if he is going through changes related to transgender issues he may want to explore a little bit of everything - which could be potentially dangerous to you if you are being sexually active with him.

    Strange as it may sound, 4 years ago a co-worker of mine announced that She was going to have a sex change operation. She changed into a man. BUT now that she is a MAN, she still dates MEN. I never will understand why she changed into a man to date men. But it's not my life to understand...all I can do is remain respectful to "him" and his situation because I have to work with him.

    Are you able to talk to either of your parents about this situation?
     
  7. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I BET YOUR PARENTS WISH YOU'D JUST DO DRUGS INSTEAD.
     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  9. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    You know Brother Bigtown, Thats some real negative :poop: to say to a young sister seeking advice for a very serious situation.

    Listen little sister. I know right now love seems to be the most wonderful thing that can happen to a person, but you are at a place in your life where it is now time to mold your future.

    you can not support him right now. You can be his friend and listen to him but you must also keep your eyes on your goals and dreams. You got to gather the tools you will need to fulfill whatever plans you have for your future right now.

    I suggest you be still for a minute when it comes to seeking love. Sometimes we got to sit back and watch how it all plays out. Observe what is really going on with your friend. Pay close to what you are feeling. Try to distinguish whether it is love, sympathy, or compassion that you are feeling for this brother. But whatever you find, remember that you must love you first. That means taking care of the things you must do before trying to help someone else.

    You are going to have so many other wonderful and heartbreaking experiences
    in life, but it is very important that you lay the right foundation for yourself now. What are your plans little sister? What can you see yourself doing eight years from now? When you make your plans remember to look past the present and into your future. Look and see what are the tools you will need and go for it. Okay, I'm just repeating myself.

    Please stay focus Sister Peachez~n~Rhyme! Try harder to not let any distractions keep you from conquering :horse:and acheiving your dreams you have for your future! :luvv:
     
  10. AfroBoricuaRoni

    AfroBoricuaRoni Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It's a bit generic to tell her to focus on school and school only. It's unrealistic for young people to surround themselves with academics EVERYday ALL day. In a world where sex sells and everyone is quick to jump into a relationship, at some point or another they're going to be faced with situations kinda like what this sister is in. Not exactly but relationships are a part of life, be they positive or negative.

    Sister, if you're asking what you should do, I myself say that you need to ask him what he considers himself. If he's gay then he don't need to be in no relationship with a female. If he's bi that's another thing. If you think he's cheating, confront him about it. Tell him to make up his mind because he sounds a bit confused to me and his confusion is confusing you as well.

    And trust me, if you want to be payed one day in the near future, get your education on. Get involved in prosperous things because it's also beneficial to meet different people who have their mind right and can help you go farther in life. These cats is going to be alright whether or not you are and once you've broken up with them and find yourself in trouble later, nine times out of ten they won't be there.

    At this age its crucial to your future that you take care and start planning your life out properly. Don't let dude continue to mess your mind up over this stuff. Don't ever stop doing you for the sake of a relationship because sometimes all we have in this world is ourselves. Boyfriends, just like friends, will come and go.
     
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