Black Relationships : What should I do

a-mere-man

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REGISTERED MEMBER
Dec 10, 2003
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Durham
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student in college
I am still a virgin and the person that I am seeing now is not. I really love her a whole lot a she says that she really loves me. She has been sexually active with most of her boyfriends and some other people. I told her is the desire to have sex in her still in her because she had the spirit of lust on her strong. She said that she did not have the desire to have sex anymore. From what I hear it is hard to give up sex because it can become very addictive. Also when she is around me she will bodly look at other men in my presence Im talking about LOOK and they would LOOK too and when i confront her with it she will lie about. I literally have to sit down and drag the truth out of her and then she will finally admit it. She did this with an associate of mine and a whole lot of other boys. I am not trying to walk around looking like a fool because my girlfriend has itchy eyes for other males. Also in the past she has told me that her and a boyfriend got into a serious argument so she decides to go a have sex with another boy. Her and her boyfriend eventually get back together and to this day he does not know. They broke up but she still has not told him. There have been days when I would catch her really staring at a boy the same one repeatedly in the same environment, I would bring it up later and she would denie it. sometimes she would even denie her ever seeing a boy at all. What should I do somebody help me. Thank you. God bless.
 
I can't tell you what to do, but in my opinion you are doing everything right as in confronting her about your concerns. if you feel she is still lying/denying the instances where she is looking at other guys, then it may be time for you to move on. She has, however, told you the truth about her past and maybe telling the truth now about her not being interested in other guys. There isnt anything wrong with looking, as long as its no disrespect to you. But in your case its seem to be a high level of disrespect. Like I said I cant tell you what to do, but if I was in your shoes...I would continue the relationship til I have proof that she is being unfaithful. Looking is not cheating but it can lead to that. So just keep your eyes open. Continue to keep the communication going. Good luck!
 
A-meer-man, Welcome young brother!

I usually steer clear of relationship advice, but it sounds like you and this young lady have different values. Differences in values can become a major crisis in a relationship, especially as the relationship progresses past the "new" (or honeymoon) stage. Your girlfriend told you from the beginning that she isn't a virgin, and that is good. However, she has also let you know that not only has she had several sex partners, but she has problems with being faithful. Assuming that this young lady is the same age as you, that is a troubling history at such a young age. It also isn't good that she appears to have a wandering/lustful eye for other men. In truth young brotha, she is giving you a preview of what your relationship is going to be like. I think you should have a major talk with your girlfriend to see where the relationship is going. You should also think hard about what type of relationship you are getting yourself involved in, and what attracted you to your girlfriend in the 1st place. After you do a self-evaluation, you might find the best solution is to be friends with this young lady. However, if you decide to continue the relationship, I would advise you to remain observant.
 
Tell her to hit the bricks. I's not worth it. If you're a good man to her, then she should be a good woman to you. You're only 18(not that I'm that much older), you shouldn't have to deal with all this. If you think this a real serious problem and you are worried about her cheating or whatever, just move on. Why put yourself through all that. There are a whole lot of women in the world. Take your time and you'll eventually find the woman that is right for you.
 

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