Black Relationships : What Marriage Taught Me About Myself

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by river, Oct 4, 2006.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I was taken aback when my husband told me I was selfish. Me??? Selfish???? No way. I have no problem giving anyone something they need or just really want. When I see something that I know someone will like I get it for them just to see them smile. No one had ever accused me of being selfish. But then he pointed outr that's because I've always lived alone.

    He was right. I love to give but marriage is not about giving. It's about sharing. It's easier to give a hundred dollars than it is to share a dollar. Once you give that hundred you are through with it. The person can wipe their tail with it and it won't affect you. But you still have vested interest in that dollar you are sharing with someone. Your needs still have to be met with that dollar that is still a part of your personal budget.

    That's where we find out if we are truly selfich or generous. Whether it is money or time or chores or emotions. There is nothing in the single life that will prepare us for marriage. The number one question we must ask when considering marriage is "Am I ready to grow (change)? " Because that is exactly what we will be doing.
     
  2. Slowly

    Slowly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thats a different point of view.
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister River ... interesting topic. I've searched my mind, looking for something that i learned from being married. It's been a whole long time ago, that i was married, and the only thing i can come up with ... is that i learned i'd not be married to that man for life ... but at this point, even Stevie can see this.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    SMH

    .o0( Why should we not be suprized at this revelation ) :blush: :getout:
     
  5. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    LOL.

    But in all seriousness, the issue that the Sheqhet brought here is a good one.....It also made me realize that the conventional form of relationship, at this point in time in my life, is not for me.

    I feel that my social development in alot of ways, was thrown off-kilter, and I'm just working to get it back on track.

    I've never been married, but the past few relationships that I've been involved in (this last one in particular), has taught me that I must create a specific list of criteria that I want, both in my prospective mate, and within myself.

    I've learned the true reason why we musn't settle for just anybody, and why we mustn't let any just settle for us.

    PEACE
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Kemetstry ... be not surprised at whatever you wanna be not surprised at.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    How you gonna LOL at his raggediness ... don't make me jump on you too.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    :lol: :lol: :lol:
    They must think that rifle aint loaded.:hearts4: Not to mention,([email protected] rifle)You never said what happened to ya your husband.

    :gossip: :injured:
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Ya know Sister Purple ... smh ... for the record ... his body has yet to be found ... i mean, he moved to Brazil ... :look:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    LOL, @ "raggediness". :lol:

    You have to admit, that there is a sense of irony within his statement. But that's not to trivialize your perspective....But he still has a point. It's only how he expressed it that was humorous (as he usually is).

    Anyways, no hard feelings. :flowers:

    PEACE
     
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