Greetings Brothers and Sisters As I scan the forums I see many threads that discuss our issues and deficiencies. It is always good to expose the negative to dispose of it. We must be care not to dwell on the negative too long. We must also exalt the positive as well. This is the positive of this thread. Because I don't claim to be an expert I can only describe what I have noticed for myself based upon my experiences. With that said I would like to share with you why my marriage is successful. What I have come to realize is at the foundation of my marriage besides my being my lover and my queen most of all is she is my friend. I know this sounds cliché' but she truly is my best friend. She is my friend because I like the person she is. I like her character. I think this is crucial in finding the right person. Often we find people that we are attracted to because of sex appeal or whatever reason. We eventually fall in love with these people but when it comes down to it we don't really like these people. It is possible to love someone and not like them. Therefore I think we should not only love our spouses and mates but like them as well. Have you ever had a friend that when you saw them it made you happy to see them? You know a friend that you could completely be yourself with, you could laugh with, cry with, rejoice with, etc. Someone that will go to war with you and have your back. This is a friend that enriches your life. This is a person that you could never imagine being without. Is there any reason why this person can't be your spouse too? Now me and my wife didn't grow up together. In fact I took the time to court to see what kind of person she was when we first met. I liked what I saw. And obviously she like what she saw in me. Now I'm not trying to paint a picture as though we are the Huxtables. We are not. We have our differences. Still in all the good far outweighs the bad. We give each other our own individual space to do the things we are interested in that the other is not. Though by nature there are certain things we do that are innately part of who we are by gender, still I don't try to confine us to expected gender roles. For example my wife is handy with hand tools and power tools and I can burn in the kitchen and I'm very good with babies and small children. In other words we function as a whole doing what needs to be done. If a piece of furniture has to be put together my wife won't wait for me. She'll do it herself. When I watch my baby nephew and he needs his damper changed or to be bathed or to be fed and she's not around I have no problem do those things. My point is we get in trouble when we place certain roles on people and expect them to fill those roles. These are just a few things I felt necessary to share with you as to why my marriage is successful. Please share and let's build upon this positive conversation.