Black Relationships : What Is This Thing Called Love?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by oldsoul, May 4, 2007.

  1. OldSoul

    OldSoul Permanent Black Man PREMIUM MEMBER

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    DIFFERENT LEVELS OF LOVING

    There are three components that make up ‘love’ – passion, commitment, and intimacy .

    Liking includes only one of the love components - intimacy. This intimate liking characterizes true friendships, in which a person feels a bondedness, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment.

    Infatuated love consists solely of passion and is often what is felt as "love at first sight." But without the intimacy and the commitment components of love, infatuated love may disappear suddenly.

    Empty love happens when the commitment remains, but the intimacy and passion have died. Empty love can also be seen in couples that are estranged but feel that they are binded by commitment.

    Romantic love is a combination of intimacy and passion. Romantic lovers are bonded emotionally and physically through passionate arousal.

    Companionate love consists of intimacy and commitment. Found in marriages in which the passion has gone out of the relationship, but a deep affection and commitment remain.

    Fatuous love has the passion and the commitment components but not the intimacy component. A whirlwind courtship and marriage in which a commitment is motivated largely by passion, without the stabilizing influence of intimacy.

    Consummate love is the only type of love that includes all three components--intimacy, passion and commitment. It represents the ideal love relationship.

    Universal love is love on a bigger scale. It is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional, it is the way The One True God loves humanity, and it is the kind of love that those who believe in The One True God aspire to have for all of humankind. This love can be expressed by prayer, service, good deeds, and personal sacrifice.


    http://whgbetc.com/mi/lm.html
    From: Souljah Exclusive Newsletter #2 [email protected]
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    well stated , Love truely have it's ways through different reasons
    feelings and emotions which set these components a float , this
    where we discover love or is it love , what is love !
     
  3. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    what is this...

    love is-being left alone ALL DAY to watch those good games on tv...love is-sifting through the record ailes and finding that RARE album or 45...love is-having the wife visit her relatives for the day and it SNOWS AND SNOWS and she has to stay a week[hehe]...THAT'S LOVE.
     
  4. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    this was a nice attempt to do what poets have tried to do but never did for thousands of years...define love.
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Yes love is all that. What many people don't realize is that all these components are dynamic.The passion may go ut but it will come back in a natural ebb and flow--the same rhythm that permeates all things. The only time it may not come back is when one partner has done something to hurt or anger the other to the point they don't want it to come back.

    There will be times when you look at your partner and say "Oh my Gaaaawd! What have I done? Who is this person?" That's part of the rhythm. It's not a time to panic or think your marriage is over. Take the time to do for yourself what you could not do when you were wrapped up in each other then if there is no buried rage or unforgiven hurts you will come together again refreshed with new energies to being to the table.
     
  6. I-khan

    I-khan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    go back to another source.....

    I say that 'love' cannot be defined...we should not try to define everything....sometimes we obsess over definitions and not actions..and not every action has a definition...'love' is strived for and not a commodity that can be bought,sold,limited, or manipulated......unlike lust and other mundane emotions....since love cannot be defined (by me, on a UNIVERSAL perspective) it cannot be immediately acted on....we seem to always want something that was implanted within us by someone else....though all the things aformentioned play a role in relationships , to give them full reign with the idea of 'love' ignores their transitory existence.....real 'love' cannot be transitory and as a result not defined...only transitory things can be 'defined....

    or thats just me.
     
  7. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    How true. Love is not transitory but it does evolve and grow. We make a gross mistake when we look at the present situation and say "this is it" or "this is not it." People chnge, grow, become so whatever they engage in will do the same. That's what makes it hard to define.

    It's a gamble. We can love someone because all the components are there but what happens when the person grows. What happens when that person discovers truths that cause him/her to discard the things you had become intimate with--the things about which you both shared a passion? Is it time to go? Should the person deny himself in order to preserve the love? Is there a component of the love that can withstand the winds of change and come through ready to accept the person? It's not even up to us or Ann Landers or James dobson to come up with a one-size-fits-all answer. Each person in an adult relationship must decide for themselves.
     
  8. I-khan

    I-khan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    "Is there a component of the love that can withstand the winds of change and come through ready to accept the person"

    In my eye it is not the component but the actual thing ("love")that can withstand change....and you are correct when you say that each person in a relationship must decide for themselves.....
     
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