Black Relationships : What is the meaning of a Relationship?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by MzBlkAngel, Sep 16, 2004.

  1. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What brings these questions to mind is this past week…In chat www.destee.com/chat we had the honor of Brother Oldsoul to speak with us again, on a topic don’t remember the topic but things he pointed out.

    He also teaches every Sunday at 3pm EST www.destee.com/chat.. so come check him out :spinstar:
    But anyway…..

    Lets see…..

    Can a relationship be 50/50 or is this 50/50 a myth?

    Do we compliment our mates?

    Is complimenting each other really necessary or is it a myth?

    What is your definition of a relationship?

    Some tribes in Africa pick the mates for their daughter and sons.
    Do you think their relationships are better and are filled with
    more important values than the relationship we pick for ourselves?

    Do you think they compliment their mates?

    In your own opinion, what do you think the meaning of relationship is to them?
     
  2. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A relationship to me means support, joy and happiness. There will not always be good times, but this person should be in your heart no matter what you are going through. Relationships have to be 50/50 as far as overall effort and support. Financially...no. As long as you both are giving 100%...that's enough. Sometimes one person is giving 100% but still can't go 50/50 on some things, but they are giving their all to you. I think you should compliment your mate personality wise. I think 99% of the relationship is love, effort and support. Anything else can be worked on along the way.

    As far as the Africa culture of picking mates....well, i think they might do so to make sure their son or daughter is with a strong, nurturing person. Someone that they can build a strong family with. I'm not sure if I would want anyone picking a mate for me...but hey, I also did not grow up in African culture. I think it's a good way as far as security, but I need to make sure my heart is in it before commting to anyone for life.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very very good point kente417mojo.......

    To me a relationships are built on trust and honesty which is given equally
    by both mates to bond these feelings which respect and honor comes to a
    factor they rise together , many as one sharing mental thoughts and work load
    it's a common ground where love become the base from the inner emotion feelings
    and how each heart feel about the other with full support and commitment i've
    learn that 50/50 is the best way and a reality if you plan to make it .
    Complimenting each other on a daily base is a very good thing which keep
    the communication line open and make the other mate feel good , wanted
    and loved why they did and do in africa is different and seem to be best for
    the morals of best security but i agree for me to love deeply i have to choose
    my mate and know my mate more so then my love a pick .
    in relationships true love comes from different things that means the most
    which bond these two together , now some may feel they love a person even
    before they get to know them everybody think and see it and feel differently
    Finance.....Not always 50/50 but the heart of the matter which need financial
    support can be equal the true personality of a mate speaks for it self, but know
    many look at a relationship differently or how it means to them ...

    Do we take our relationships to be the real start to marriage?
    or base it on a flirtation feeling without looking to the future?

    their are so many who take a relationship lightly with no commitment
    a relationship means more if you have a heart and feelings and yes it
    can and should be 50/50 if they are real about it and hold these feelings
    for a future ahead.
     
  4. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A relationship is quite literally the joining of two people. 50/50 isn't an unrealistic ideal, it is an absolute necessity of two people are going to be happy together! Similarly if you do not compliment the person with whom you are in a relationship...then what is the point of the relationship?
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    good point Pan .....A relationship do have morals & meanings of two hearts
    two souls two minds together as one whole and complimental of each other
    50/50 is common but so many base it on the next for total support !
     
  6. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A relationship is an excuse for the opposite sex to take advantage of you.

    A commited relationship is one that may yield some positive results, since both parties are bound to it.
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    never have i seen a relationship to be an excuse but a building block
    to a long term commitment with intents and how it can be through marriage
    happy i never had to visit this advantage type .
    But you know i feel where you coming from on that which both is a mixture
    to a start friendship is the first line to move past being taken advantage of .
     
  8. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Kente417mojo… You made some good points thank you for sharing…

    Rich loving ya answer……I can also agree with you as well…


    I do believe a relationship should be 50/50 at times one will pull the weight but you work together and it should all even out. The communication is a big part of a loving and respectful healthy relationship as well…I believe mates should compliment each other….and yes indeed the finance…I read somewhere that a lot of marriage end bad because of finance....the fussing and fighting over money ….I guess that could be a stress on the one mate more then the other….actions always have spoken louder then words….But if your heart and mind is in it and the commutation that is a start of something good...hmmm think i was rambling....

    Pan I am with you on this….I believe it is not unrealistic for a 50/50 to take part in a relationship as it should be…but you also have to look at a lot of ppl have lost the meaning along with morals of what a good relationship is…

    We may have not grown up or lived in Africa but the questions still remains
    Do you think their relationships are better and are filled with
    more important values than the relationship we pick for ourselves?

    Do you think they compliment their mates, because they are pick?

    What do you think the meaning of relationship is to them, since mates are pick?

    Thank you for all your replies....

    Peace
    Angel
     
  9. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A relationship should be 50/50, but many times it is not. People do not realize the seriousness of commiting to one person. You're joining your whole life to someone, not just the parts you think they should see. Most people cannot get over the selfishness of "me, me, me." When in a relationship, it's not jst abnout "you" anymore.

    Some people think that having parents arrange marriages is still ideal because who knows you better than your parents, right? Some cultures that emphazie arranged marriages do not marry people for love.. they do it for money, security, well-being... Love and respect come in time. Many people felt this way for many years, and some still do.

    For many reasons, I believe the families of the 2 parties should meet and greet LONG before the big day. You have to know how someone will act around your family, and vice versa. How can you hate the family you are marrying into?

    Now, there is nothing wrong with friends.... but serious, commited relationships should be reserved for marriage-minded people, people who plan to merge their lives and remain together until death parts them.
     
  10. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    True at Toylin.
     
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