Black Relationships : What is Romance?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by river, Sep 7, 2007.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    A friend of mine told me he doesn't believe in romance. I have no problem with that basically because I'm not really sure what romance is. Why do we need it? Why does society program us to believe that no relationship can be fulfilling unless it involves romance?

    Actually I feel much more fulfilled in my friendships where there is stimulating conversation, laughter, support, understanding, even an occasional warm fuzzy moment and all that good stuff than in a relationship where romance is a requirement. I don't dig a man calling me and saying "I miss you. Do you miss me?" And I'd better say yes. And I better not take too long to say it otherwise he says "See, that's your problem. You don't really love me." Sorry baby, that's not my problem. That's your problem. You're the one who has this need to be loved. I'm just living my life.

    With my friend I don't have to wonder if he is in love with me because I know that love for me is in him and vice versa. And yes, I feel all the thrills and chills and excitement from his presence. My heart is smitten. So why do I need the worry and pain, frustration and anxiety of romance?

    Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why do we need this thing called romance? You have to really stop and ask yourself the question before you can give someone else an honest ansswer.
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    romance is when you don't have to pay............:kiss2:
     
  3. MenNefer

    MenNefer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Roman-antics

    Romance is supposed to allude to the aesthetics or one who is skilled enough to manipulate those things that appeal to the senses(during courtship) is called: "Romantic."
    Do we need it ?.........Maybe we don't need to call it
    romance. Those things we do to break the routine interactions (especially when you got munchkins) to *symbolize * ones appreciation of the other and a rembrance of the passion underlying the relationship (in my opinion) should be associated with Het Heru or Oshun.
     
  4. I-khan

    I-khan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    here we go....
    http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=romance

    In terms of relationships, it is used as a story line and the climax being the sex act....which is a popular notion,regardless of such todays depiction of romance is more like the stepping stone to the act itself....it is supposed to add more substance to the relationship and act...I do no think it does
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Man brotha James, you just made my day pretty just by being here. It sure is good to see you again. Welcome back. I hope you will find your return a pleasant one. :grouphug:
     
  6. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    That's an interesting way of looking at it. I seem to have an extra dose of Het Heru. Oshun is my orisha--owner of the river along with Laroye--the divine messenger of the river.

    I am thinking romance must be something other than the playfful imaginativeness or imaginative playfulness of my personality.
     
  7. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Hey I khan,

    ltns.

    I don't think it ddoes either.
     
  8. MenNefer

    MenNefer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Indeed...it is (could be) that imaginative/erotic..Kula yoga..tantric..watery..emotional..artistic..joyful..kamasutra..
    venusian spirit/agency that keeps that magnetism *electric*. (poetically speaking)

    The buzzword "Romance" is so myopic and egocentrically driven in comparison ( at leat the feelngs and thoughts it is meant to conjure up).
     
  9. Zulile

    Zulile Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I equate romance with intimacy - and yeah - I need it - I want it - I give it - I love it.

    I am not thinking "romance books" where everything is flowers on valentines.. picnics in the park.. some even say when a man cooks dinner.. thats romantic.. HA! If you dont like cooking its a chore, no matter how you look at it - and someone will have to pay later ;) anyway.. that type of thing leaves me cold. All those are good, on occasion.. but not.. romantic.

    give me a knowing look from across a crowded room - chitchat and laughter under the blankets - when feeling uncomfortable, subconciously reach for my hand.. THATS romance.

    to me :)
     
  10. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    That is true, brotha. It excludes from the realm of fulfillment the very characteristics that makes an individual fulfilled while offering as a substitute the personality traits that only a few people have

    Today we had a little thunderstorm that came up just as I was trying to save a large audio file that would take a long time. I had to save it though it is against my better judgment to run my computer when it is lightening and thundering. I remembered my friend told me he lets mother nature do her thing. So I did and instead of seeing the lightening as a threat I made peace. Then when the file finished saving I thanked my mother nature and my father sky for letting me do what I had to do. That kind of joy and peace is fullfilling in an awesome way andd spills over into friendships and loveships.
     
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