Black Relationships : What if you are married but still feel the "desire" to explore?

geegee

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Nov 13, 2004
48
2
Hello everyone, I'm new here. I've been married for 3yrs now and recently I've seen my ex at a nearby store. I was shocked to see him b-cus he moved from this state over 5 yrs ago and recently moved back( that's why we broke up, i might add). He isn't in a relationship now and was so happy to see me and wants to keep in contact. So, we do, I call him from time to time and talk about old times. But, to make the long story short, I miss this guy like CRAZY. He makes my heart melt every time I think of him, talk and see him. What do I do, how do I get over this feeling and why is this feeling so strong for a man I'm not married to? Can you ladies help me?
 
Welcome to Destee.com sister GeeGee! I hope you enjoy the site, and consider becoming a premium member. To answer your question:

In my opinion as a married man. If you feel the desire to explore after only 3 years of marriage. It is because you either married too soon or you married the wrong person. Because of the strong feelings you have for your ex-boyfriend, I have a strong suspicion that you married the wrong person. I think the 1st thing you have to address are your feelings about the man you married. How is the relationship with your husband? Is there something missing in your marriage that you think the ex can fill? Is your husband the love of your life, or was he a guy that filled the void of losing your ex-boyfriend? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. You also need to ask what can your ex-boyfriend do for you. Will he be committed to you, and is he worth ruining your marriage over? He moved back into state without telling you (I assume he could have contacted you if he wanted to), this suggest that he probably planned to move on with his life, before he saw you in the store. You might want to consider doing the same. Good Luck either way!
 
I'm inclined to agree with Pan. But, I have a few questions. Have you been interested in other men since you have been married, or just in this instance? Do you think that perhaps seeing your ex stirred up some feelings that you thought were long gone, but aren't? And have you considered that there may be some things about this man that you will always love, but it doesn't mean you should have a relationship with him? The answers to these questions will be very telling as to how you should proceed.
 

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