Black People : What has past relationships taught you?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by dstny, Aug 26, 2005.

  1. dstny

    dstny Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What I have learned from past experiences that, I have to be real and
    say how I feel right or wrong, I feel better and the other person
    knows where I am coming from. We must treat one another the way we
    want to be treated. respect goes both ways, If we keep giving and
    giving of ourselves and get nothing back we will burn ourselves out.
    Why put all that pressure on ourselves. I think that mutual respect is
    on order in any relationship otherwise you are just spinning your
    wheels and nobody wins, support one another's dreams, hopes and
    visions,and goals. Its a give and take thing. and if not sooner or
    later the giver will burn out!
     
  2. Wisdom7

    Wisdom7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree. They say everyone is brought into your life for a reason, to bring out something in you that needs to grow or change. Once we're supposed to learn the lesson, for some reason the person is removed from our life. If we don't learn from it, then we end up repeating the same problem (same game, different name) until we get it right.

    I believe people are like pieces of a puzzle. You need each other to complete you. I mean completing ourselves in the sense that we are peeling off all the layers until you get to the essence of who you really are and then have the courage to stand without wavering. It's a loooong journey though, but still interesting
     
  3. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Dstny:

    I'm not used to seeing you outside of the joke forum. To answer your question, my past relationships have taught me to treasure my wife (there is no other woman like her in the world)!
     
  4. notbeautiful

    notbeautiful Active Member MEMBER

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    Good topic, yo. Past relationships, for me at least, are tough to get over and tougher to learn from because you are so caught up in emotion.

    This past relationship for me lasted two and half years. What I've learned is that you have to be honest to yourself in order to be honest with the other person. I would often pretend that I wasn't hurt by some things and I'd harness a lot of feelings. Eventually all that was bottled up came out wrong and explosively. All I know is that now, I have to be honest to Roni first. Forget everyone else.

    And another thing, emotions should be mutual. If not then stay friends PUHLEEZE! Anything more is pure drama.
     
  5. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    This is a nice subject, but if I may, I have a couple of pennies to place into this. These are "rules of life". These are rules regarding life before or during a relationship.

    1. Remember, No One can make you complete. You are supposed to come into the relationship "complete as a person".

    2. This goes with rule #1. 50/50 relationships do not and have never worked.
    When you enter a relationship you bring 100% of who you are into it to the table and expect the same of the person you're with. To do any less is to enter the relationship "incomplete" hoping and looking for the other person to make you "whole". Imagine going into a relationship expecting 50/50. What happens if both of yall are missing the same 50% ?

    3. A relationship that is not growing or moving forward has to be decaying or moving backwards. Time to get out.

    4. This goes with rule #3. Many of us do not know when it's time to call it quits, when to hold them or to fold them. We get into a comfort zone with someone even when that someone may not be the person for us.

    5. Learn the difference between "someone being good TO you" and "someone being good FOR you". Which do you need in your life? Think about that.

    6. A relationship is not about "give and take", it's about giving, giving and giving. You see, if the both of you are so busy giving, neigther one of you have time to even think about what or who is doing the taking.

    7. Most of all remember, "YOU CAN NEVER LOVE ANYONE MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF FIRST". IF YOU DO NOT FIRST LOVE YOURSELF, HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY LOVE SOMEONE ELSE?" On the same hand, you can not extend or do for anyone what you are not first extending or doing for yourself.

    8. Sex is not love. Often times we can become overwhelmed by the feeling that someone makes us feel or the satisfaction they physically bring into our lives. Do not confuse this with love !

    9. Love the person not the image. example: "I just met the most beautiful woman in the world to me. She has a nice personality, she got it going on, nice job, good attitude, positive outlook on life and she's into me not the streets". Tomorrow, if she were to get in a car accident and become physically disfiguered, would I still feel the same way?" Would I still walk the streets arm in arm with her with the same pride and love in my heart? In other words, DID I LOVE THE PERSON OR THE IMAGE? THINK ABOUT THIS.

    10. COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE...NOT TALK, COMMUNICATE.

    11.If you can remember and live by these rules, there is no lesson for relationships to teach you, for everything in your life will be an extension of you. At best, the only thing a person can do is compliment your life and add the balance that male/female relationships do. Why did I say male/female relationships and not male/male or female/female relationshiops? Because the balance in life is YING AND YANG...NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE....MASCULINE AND FEMININE. NOT YING AND YING...NOT YANG AND YANG. I THINK YOU GOT MY POINT.
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    great way to put it .......i agree fully
     
  7. Moorfius

    Moorfius Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What has been learned*

    Hotep

    From those life experiences commonly called relationships, it has been learned that nothing or no one should come before yourself. When one knows self and properly understands what the self is a part of, then one learns what it takes to be properly conciderate of others. Any time too much is put into depending on others for personal happyness, there will be problems. He don't make me happy, or She don't make me happy, is heard over and over. It is not the responsibility of any one out side of your self, to give you happyness. In other words, we are to make our self happy, not others. The more a person is knowlegeable about them self, the more happy the other person or persons are happy to be around him or her. With self knowlege comes self confidence, self security, self motivation, concideration of others ect. Afrikan proverb: A wise man will not insult a fool but a fool will insult a wise man.

    Ase`
     
  8. Poetrymama

    Poetrymama Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    re:Relationships

    To maintain relationships is a 24/7 Job Especially Love Interest. Some time
    you have to sit back and be quiet because through the years you learn
    Everybody don't love you and Everything is not always about you. Why would
    you want it to be. Sometimes a relationship is not even worth saving and when you realize that you just get on with your life and bless them.
    What I am really trying to say is life will go on whether we are in a relationship
    or totally alone. Happiness is up to each individual who breath.
     
  9. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Definitely.
     
  10. CosmicMessenger

    CosmicMessenger Banned MEMBER

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    That love is a game of bullsh** and the best bullsh**ter wins.
     
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