Black People : What Does This Site Say About Our Women?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Keita Kenyatta, Mar 21, 2012.

  1. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I remember a post somewhere in which Sister Destee said that there were more black men here than one can find in a small church. Since she said that, I have been paying attention to the numbers myself only to see that she was right. The question that ran through my mind was, why? Why are there more men here than women? When we look at the topics that are addressed we can also see a difference. What is this telling us as a people?

    At one time as I was cruising the internet, I incorrectly thought that; "well maybe the sisters are on these different sites looking for conscious brothers as possible mates". I was wrong about that also. I've now reached a point in thought where I realize that the only way for me to get an answer that is correct without hidden agendas is if there was a site out here "FOR WOMEN ONLY" that would allow me to be privy to the unsuppressed emotions and thoughts that women may be expressing with other women as opposed to other men. Only then do I think that I would be able to correctly gauge the level of conditioning that our women may or may not have gone through.

    Because our women are indeed the first teachers of our babies, the one thing that is for certain is this; if she doesn't grow and change, nothing about us will grow or change simply because "the nation can never rise any higher than the woman". So while everyone may have their own game or agenda that they choose to follow, this needs to be remembered in the course of our living and reaching out to others. Maybe the bigger question is; what does this say about our women on this site or any other site?
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Keita ... while i've quoted only the above, you have brought up a great topic that i have some insight regarding.

    It's way deep i think ... taking more time to address than i have right now ... but i would like to add the following ...

    I have said many times ... We have more Black Men at destee than they do in a small Baptist Church.

    I have not said that we have more Brothers than Sisters at destee ... i've not said that ... i don't believe it to be true.

    But we can see what others think ... seems like it's going to be a great discussion!

    Thanks for starting it ... :toast:

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    There are sites only for Black women.

    There is also a Black women's blogger/internet movement called "Black Women Empowerment (BWE.)" To me it is a form of escapism from our lack of Community. But it's a very negative one which dismisses the Black man and uplifts the White man. On the internet it's fairly popular--which means unfortunately many Black women are researching opinions of Black women that promote interracialism.

    From what I understand, there's here a strong disapproval of BWE. And my impression, from reading older debates, is that here isn't too interracialist. I think that this factors into the lack of Black women.*

    But this is an interesting subject that needs more thought.

    *Not that Black women are more interracialist, since stats suggest otherwise. But there are older stories of how much more 'forgiving' the African woman is than the African man.
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother ABSiblings ... off the top, this is the first that i'm hearing of "Black Women Empowerment (BWE)" and have no reason not to support and/or encourage them. I wish them and any effort a Sister or Brother is doing, the very best ... no matter who they are.

    There are sites that cater to only Black Women ... while i don't frequent them or any other site too much, because i'm so busy keeping us alive ... i do know these sites exist, and it's a good thing that they do. There should be more sites catering to our needs, individual, collective, private, what have you ... we are a diverse people and subsequently deserve diverse options ... just like everybody else.

    My background is in web development, and its very foundation depends on the existence of other sites.

    There are so many reasons not to discourage other sites, or our people from starting and pursuing them.

    Many Members have left destee and started their own communities, and we've wished them all well ... it is a very good thing.

    The title of this thread asks ... What Does This Site Say About Our Women ... ????

    I missed that in my first post above ... and am not sure i understand the question ... :thinking:

    but uhhh raaaaa ... Sisters are represented quite nicely at destee ... i don't speak on it as much ... the urgencies aren't the same.

    Each will determine for our own selves ... what gets the majority of your conversation, focus, etc. ... what we consider urgent.

    For me, this community ... we're charged with considering the whole ... the whole ... man, woman, child ... the whole.

    After taking on that giant task, inside my own self ... i feel like Black Men are most at risk ... which puts the whole at risk.

    So i speak on that more often probably ... but someone else may think the child is most at risk ... and they speak on that.

    And another think the woman is most at risk ... and they speak and focus on that ... all able to switch up if circumstance requires.

    When a body is bleeding in so many places ... you have so much bleeding to stop ... just start somewhere ... anywhere.

    That's our condition ... we're bleeding everywhere ... and if we can stop or discourage the bleeding anywhere ... we should.

    ::
    ::

    This site has a wonderful reputation of loving and being loved by all of our people ... Sisters, Brothers, Children ... ALL OF US.

    I don't understand the question.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brothers and Sisters operate differently here ... they don't both do the same ... but i'd imagine this is not unique to us.

    Brothers are most often in the hard hitting discussions ... if it's a skirmish ... dust flying ... Brothers are probably in the middle.

    Now, we've lived long enuff to see a few Sisters in the middle of the fight ... her dress all dirty and torn ... :lol: ... but it's rare.

    Brothers are much more aggressive in the discussions than Sisters, i think it's because they have a more aggressive energy.

    Not necessarily anything to do with destee so much ... other than it's a place that allows them to be their own selves.

    Sisters are quieter ... but it doesn't mean they aren't here ... in fact ... part of keeping each here, is that we're all here.

    They're just quieter ... but who wants to go where there is no one of the opposite sex ... i've never liked those kinds of places.

    They seem out of balance with the natural order of things ... to me ... but for those who want that, they should have it.

    No ... we have Sisters and Brothers at destee ... all interacting respectfully ... :love: ... it's truly a beautiful thing ... :hearts1:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Keita ... in fact ... you demonstrated the epitome of what this site says about our women.

    This site was not only able to capture your interest, but moved you to go and get your wife, and bring her with you.

    I've spoke on this before ... in this video ... Tribute to Sister QueenTswana ... it's not the first time i'm saying it.

    Proving beyond any reasonable doubt ... providing evidence for any that should claim otherwise ... that we are for all of our people.

    Black Men, Women, and Children ... The Whole Family! ... :love:

    Sisters are quieter, but don't underestimate their presence or support for this community, for i can't imagine where we'd be without them.

    We've been blessed with great balance, i believe.

    Love You! :kiss:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. Feather

    Feather Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    one of the reasons i joined this site was to meet new people sisters and brothers.

    i really hoped to run into someone that had like interests as myself which i knew would take time and was no rush. but to me it appeared that this is like a scholarly/chat/hobby/leisure atmosphere more than a find a life partner kind of site.

    the men didn't seem aggressive to me in that respect, but they are about threads and foolish ones imo sometimes. i just gathered that there was no interest in me and that was that. i figured there's like hundreds of people online and no one says anything; i figured this isn't that type of site or this is not where i would find my mate. i am not the aggressor when it comes to that i don't feel comfortable, i could be but its not my nature.

    also i sent messages to a few brothers who seemed knowledgeable (not even coming on to them because i wouldn't) just wanting to ask them a question and they were unwelcoming and a couple ignored me. i told one a piece of my mind in a nice way and that's when he answered my question. he was a little sarcastic thinking i should know this and know that but i did sense remorse in the tone of his response.

    i think of us all teachers given the knowledge we possess; is it just for us to retain and not give forth? teachers don't say you should know and go find the answer yourself, they enjoy explaining and helping that student come to understanding realizing that there a desire to.

    as a people we are so ignorant like babies because of the ignorance we are raised in. when we ask of one another we should be happy to engage in a positive informative dialogue; not frustrated, impatient and rude. that's what i felt. maybe its brothers running the sisters away instead of being more merciful not blasting people because they're ignorant; we all are to some degree. but sharing what you know and being friendly.
     
  8. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Well, I do recall someone attacking all the purdy sisters in a thread, a while back. Maybe that ran some off and scared others from posting

    ;- p


    ..
     
  9. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    There have been some marriages from this site. So dont think folx cant be aggressive. lol

    We took a vote. You were voted the most flirty and aggressive.

    Wha?????


    ..
     
  10. Shikamaru

    Shikamaru Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am the opposite. I am not so much interested in people as I am in information and things.
     
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