Black Relationships : What does Marriage mean?

What is the big deal about MARRIAGE? I am speaking of the ceremony and the piece of paper that seem to break up more couples than it unifies. Here are the facts....

It doesn't mean you will stay together forever.
It doesn't mean one or both of you will be faithful.
It doesn't mean two will become one in mind, body, and spirit.
It doesn't mean that you will share with each other.
It doesn't mean that everything will be perfect.
It doesn't even mean that both of you are committed.

So, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?


It's sounds like you're saying, because their are no guarantees, it's
meaningless
. I think that's a little short sighted. Because marriage is also
codified in the law and bible, does not mean that the law and bible
define marriage. Marriage is an agreement between a man and woman to live
their lives together.. to be eachother's witness.. to corroborate that we
were indeed here.. Marriage is, to me, a beautiful intention. And the fact
that their are no guarantees makes it all the more noble.. it's saying,
"even though we may never make it there, lets agree to live this
life together for as long as we can"
. and, "let's ride this thing to the
wheels fall off.. and even if we don't make it, at least we weren't too afraid to
try.
"​
Everything ends. A marriage ending is not evidence of futility. What lasts
forever? When it's done, it's done. That could be 2 years.. or 40 years.. or
til death. The thing we have to realize about marriage is that: although we
use the same word to describe them, each marriage is unique.
..because the people are unique.. and the way they are coming together,
regardless of what the preacher or the law says, is completely specific
to them and their personalities and values and circumstances, etc. That's
why, in my opinion, statistics and generalizations about marriage are useless.​
 

It's sounds like you're saying, because their are no guarantees, it's
meaningless
. I think that's a little short sighted. Because marriage is also
codified in the law and bible, does not mean that the law and bible
define marriage. Marriage is an agreement between a man and woman to live
their lives together.. to be eachother's witness.. to corroborate that we
were indeed here.. Marriage is, to me, a beautiful intention. And the fact
that their are no guarantees makes it all the more noble.. it's saying,
"even though we may never make it there, lets agree to live this
life together for as long as we can"
. and, "let's ride this thing to the
wheels fall off.. and even if we don't make it, at least we weren't too afraid to
try.
"​
Everything ends. A marriage ending is not evidence of futility. What lasts
forever? When it's done, it's done. That could be 2 years.. or 40 years.. or
til death. The thing we have to realize about marriage is that: although we
use the same word to describe them, each marriage is unique.
..because the people are unique.. and the way they are coming together,
regardless of what the preacher or the law says, is completely specific
to them and their personalities and values and circumstances, etc. That's
why, in my opinion, statistics and generalizations about marriage are useless.​

With regard to "everything ends"

If you go in with this notion then yes it will end

I'm actually glad that this is your comment with regard to man and woman and marriage, because i have been thinking about this

marriage when recognized as a bond of spirit leaves the physical un defined

man and woman yields a child yes physically

but to take the rites of "marriage" away based on sex is deep in the game

the rites of marriage are those of Love and a bonding of being

sex on the other hand is no rite, it is a means of physical pleasure, and re-production

I have several examples but I'll save them for another time
 
I think that someone may have mentioned this before. I think of marriage as a means of bringing into the physical that which lies in the spiritual. I never understood until recently what people mean when they say that the love of their partner helps them to see God’s love for them. We are spiritual beings having human experiences. Therefore it makes sense to me that a physical contract would follow a spiritual one.

Before getting married, I think that it’s an easy goal to remain bonded to another person. After being married for a while, many of us may need reminders of the vows that we have taken and need support to keep those vows intact. Support for marriage can be simply accountability. For some of us the threat of consequences can make us think twice about a decision to end a marriage prematurely. To some, marriage represents a commitment not only between two people but between 2 families and that society.

To me, the government really just represents the “People”. Given what the US government means to our people, I can see why involving the government into their personal lives becomes undesirable. However, some things I do for symbolism. Even though I do not respect all of the society that I live in, I do respect the IDEA of a society that we are accountable to.

Lastly, I have no qualms with comparing marriage to a business relationship. Marriage is a lot of things and a business is one. When my partner and I are done w/ the lovey dovey stuff we flip on a different switch and lock into business mode. We handle our finances like a business (budgets and documentation)..and we are very strategic about our shorterm and longterm goals for ourselves and for our relationship.

I have a good friend who has a business partner and his loyalty to his business partner is so similar to a marriage that I tell him that he may as well be married. I don’t see a business relationship as a cold unfeeling thing. However, I know those images come to mind when most think of business. “Its not personal, its just business” lol. My relationship to everything and everyone is spiritual. The physical just backs that up and locks it in.
 
I think that someone may have mentioned this before. I think of marriage as a means of bringing into the physical that which lies in the spiritual. I never understood until recently what people mean when they say that the love of their partner helps them to see God’s love for them. We are spiritual beings having human experiences. Therefore it makes sense to me that a physical contract would follow a spiritual one.

Before getting married, I think that it’s an easy goal to remain bonded to another person. After being married for a while, many of us may need reminders of the vows that we have taken and need support to keep those vows intact. Support for marriage can be simply accountability. For some of us the threat of consequences can make us think twice about a decision to end a marriage prematurely. To some, marriage represents a commitment not only between two people but between 2 families and that society.

To me, the government really just represents the “People”. Given what the US government means to our people, I can see why involving the government into their personal lives becomes undesirable. However, some things I do for symbolism. Even though I do not respect all of the society that I live in, I do respect the IDEA of a society that we are accountable to.

Lastly, I have no qualms with comparing marriage to a business relationship. Marriage is a lot of things and a business is one. When my partner and I are done w/ the lovey dovey stuff we flip on a different switch and lock into business mode. We handle our finances like a business (budgets and documentation)..and we are very strategic about our shorterm and longterm goals for ourselves and for our relationship.

I have a good friend who has a business partner and his loyalty to his business partner is so similar to a marriage that I tell him that he may as well be married. I don’t see a business relationship as a cold unfeeling thing. However, I know those images come to mind when most think of business. “Its not personal, its just business” lol. My relationship to everything and everyone is spiritual. The physical just backs that up and locks it in.

I respect your perception.

What exactly is a spiritual contract?

a contract, meaning a binding agreement, in non existent IMHO in the spirit. If the concept is to be "free".

I think a major part of our collective problem is treating conceptual ideas and things of the spirit as carnal or superficial

such as

marriage and business
justice and business
God and religion

each sets boundaries and parameters to concepts that are timeless, ageless, and physically non existent
 
With regard to "everything ends"

If you go in with this notion then yes it will end

I'm actually glad that this is your comment with regard to man and woman and marriage, because i have been thinking about this

marriage when recognized as a bond of spirit leaves the physical un defined

man and woman yields a child yes physically

but to take the rites of "marriage" away based on sex is deep in the game

the rites of marriage are those of Love and a bonding of being

sex on the other hand is no rite, it is a means of physical pleasure, and re-production

I have several examples but I'll save them for another time


Mrs. Lady..

from my view, it's going to end regardless of how you go in.. whether by death or
growth or mutual decision, etc.. but, I don't see that as a negative thing..
from my view, the end colors the present.. a recognition of the impermanent
nature of life and the things that we build atop life.. in my opinion, has the
ability to enrich each experience.. it says, "you won't always have this chance..
so enjoy it while you can"
.. and.. "there will come a day when you have to let her go..
so hold her while you can.
".. and my references to "her" have to do with
viewing these things from my own lenses.. it's not to exclude anyone or anykind of relationship..
 

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on $$RICH$$'s profile.
$$RUCH. SO COOL.VBRO. WHAT MY bornday. Again. Destee. June. U didn't call. Phone me. I'm loosingbit. In my dopamine euphoria. None stop. I send my new pic. Noylt. Me. That guy. Wears 1x. I wear.b3x. Ok love Destee Fam. Errors I don't care ok. Love
Destee wrote on MANASIAC's profile.
I saw you ... :yaay: ... Welcome Home! ... :flowers:
Back
Top