Black Relationships : What does Marriage mean?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by A007, May 2, 2009.

  1. A007

    A007 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What is the big deal about MARRIAGE? I am speaking of the ceremony and the piece of paper that seem to break up more couples than it unifies. Here are the facts....

    It doesn't mean you will stay together forever.
    It doesn't mean one or both of you will be faithful.
    It doesn't mean two will become one in mind, body, and spirit.
    It doesn't mean that you will share with each other.
    It doesn't mean that everything will be perfect.
    It doesn't even mean that both of you are committed.

    So, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
     
  2. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    it means that when ya'll go to divorce court,she gets half.
     
  3. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    americanized marriage

    IMHO is no more then another form of contract, and obligation ... puts two people in debt to each other ....

    marriage is a balanced hamonious divine union ....

    "marriage" is a ritual performed when two come together to create life ....

    i can "marry" myself if u will ... meaning i can use all of the elements of myself to create a poem for example

    i can "marry" a man for example by having intercourse with him to create a life in order to pro-create ... multiply ...

    it's a manifested concept
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Marriage means something but how well do we act upon the structure of it
    we have accept marriage as a piece of paper which we don't find power in
    we have left the values of it's meaning for our own set mental rules
    yes marriage is like a contract a fix agreement that we sign saying yes
    but in the reality of heart we know we can break it twist it and drop it
    so marriage means nothing but a not so committed vow of yes me and you

    There are some who knows what it really means and live by those meanings
    set forth as husband and wife of an marriage by love and unconditional feelings

    I know what it should mean to two human souls
     
  5. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I think that this is a good question...and as one in my third marriage, I think that I am in a most beautiful position to answer this question to the fullest extent. When I was in an illusioned state of being I thought that marriage was about this deep emotion that I was feeling for another person. This person who it seemed had entered my world and was everything to me and that it seemed that I could not live without. In my mind and heart we were perfect and meant to be.

    Only time, after we were married of course would allow me to see that we were truly different in our thoughts, our perceptions, what we wanted out of life, our goals and our beliefs. By this time we already had children together and I had a choice...stay with her because of the children or move on and simply support them. I chose to move on and simply support them. I understood then that I would be a fool to sacrifice the reality of who I was "for the sake of the children". That in essence would have meant at least 18 years of turmoil, of contradictions and of my own life perpetrating a fraud for the sake of the children. Nah, that wasn't going to work. Sure, the sex was good but outside of that we were like night and day.

    Only time and growth would allow me to see and understand what it was that took place and why I felt the way that I did about this woman. I learned over time that there is something called "the law of chemical affinity". This law is the law that says and proves that your exact opposite or better yet, attraction from a physical chemical level is out there. What this means is that there is someone out there who you are a perfect match for on a chemical, physical level. In other words the two of you are like magnets and metal. A direct attraction and you perfectly match each other and in bed are like a union that was meant to be...and come hell or high water the two of you will find a way to be together, whether you are married already or not.

    I went through this twice in my life. The first time I dismissed it because I saw the shape of the woman and chalked it up as lust. The second time I didn't see anything as it relates to the woman. I couldn't even see her face and had simply passed her by in a snow storm...yet I felt my knees buckle as I passed her and my heart started beating off the meter. If you can find someone like this and you both have the same beliefs or goals in common, the sky is the limits in terms of what you will accomplish. In essence you are a union both in bed and out of it and the two of you don't care which one you are in....that my brothers and sisters is like the perfect marriage.

    Outside of the reality that I just painted, marriage in general is like, " I'm willing to put up with your b.s. if you're willing to put up with mines...and in general that's what a lot of us have.
     
  6. A007

    A007 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That would happen in the case of a couple living together for more than 7 years also.
     
  7. allgonemilw

    allgonemilw Member MEMBER

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    my thoughts

    to ask what marriage means, is like asking what the american dream means. i used to think that i wanted the american dream.....the husband, house, and kids.

    marriage meant everything to me. relationships are hard. i stepped up to the plate and fought for my relationship, my love, what we built together, memories, laughter, being together, the promise. At the end of the day, when all was said and done, after being with him for 17 years and married for 6, he walked away and never looked back. never even tried. now there's nothing. silence. darkness.

    i thought that our love would stand the test of time. everything that i thought a marriage and a relationship was...i was wrong.

    so now what? stop believing?

    i'm not sure what it all means anymore. i've been divorced for a few months now. still in shock.

    relationships are what you make them. marriage is what you make it...it takes two. it's not 50/50. it's each person giving 100%.
     
  8. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Omg.. yall not gon like this response.. but here we are.

    Marriage means.. till death do you part.
    So one of us is going out with a BANG!
    smh..
    in a nutshell.. marriage is a warranty..
    that one will not screw up..
    will continue to give 100% percent to the persuit of family, community, and happiness.. ..
    and when that stops..
    I GET HALF!
    Not to sound crazy..
    but thats what it is to me..
    im all about giving 200% percent to my man..
    but im not going to keep tapping out broadway hits..
    and cooking meals that my gramma has cooked for years for you..
    and you just decide to up and walk out on me one day..
    marriage is an investment..
    the deepest investment one can make..
    its an investment into the others persons soul..
    into trying to make that person happy when you dont feel so hot your darn self..
    its cooking when you arent hungry..
    its washing when you still have clean clothes..
    its smiling... when your really sad..
    its supporting when you know that failure is too great of an option.
    But most of all..
    when its all said and done..
    when you decide that you dont want the most perfect version of myself to be your counterpart..
    I get half.
    Because before God..
    my friends, my family... you promised to support me..
    and if your not still fixing my leaky faucets..
    and no longer cutting the grass..
    no longer changing my oil..
    i now have to pay another man to fill your shoes that you left behind!
    So whatever that cost..
    if you arent willing to do so..
    it will get done..
    on your tab.
    Note that this is my most honest admission of truth...
    i dont expect him to pay for my shopping habits..
    or even my hair..
    but he will pay for all the things that otherwise could have. or would have been handled by him..
    including but not limited to
    car maintenance
    home upkeep.. lawn included
    his part of morgage...
    car insurance..
    house insurance..
    i think im am good nuff' woman..
    that my man will know..
    that all he has to do is be true to who he is..
    and honor his vows..
    to keep me by his side.
    and for him to stay where he belongs.
    ***Note that three year rule applies..
    this will continue for 3 years.. or till the children turn 18 whichever comes first..
    :)
     
  9. A007

    A007 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    But, in reality marriage means none of this. A couple can have and do all of those things without ever having a ceremony. So, why have the ceremony?
     
  10. A007

    A007 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    All,

    I am sorry to hear that about your marriage. It is unfair what we do to some of our queens sometimes. No you shouldn't stop believing. Love is possible, even probable. My question just pertains to the unrealistic expectations that people place on marriage. The relationship should thrive independent of that piece of paper. IMO.
     
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