Black Relationships : What does black love mean to you?


love, in "general", is the ability to see a person for whom they are and not whom we desire them to be. Love requires being able to desire them after the newness comes off; when the days are long and sometimes you just don't want to be bothered. It is learning hot to agree to disagree and never going to bed angry. It is sacrificing for a common cause and walking headstrong into the will of God. it is remembering the special times when others don't and finishing your mates statements. Its learning them and their ways and knowing how to keep the freshness through surprises. Love requires work, but most seek it as just an emotion. Well, our heart can lies to us, especially if we depend on it solely as our precursor to a relationship. There are many who love someone deeply...they just love them from a distance.

I belive in love and all that it encompasses, but I also believe that unconditional love means that you will accept who the person you're in love with at face value. Meaning, you love them for who they are, nothing more of less. Although it is wonderful to want them to reach their highest goals, you have to first know what those goals are. Many marriages and long term relationships end because of infidelity. This occurs because the other shoe has dropped or the person you thought you married is not the person you're married too. We have to come into it with our eyes wide open and your minds clear of what we desire and trust that it will be all that we asked for. But we also must be prepared if what we think we see is not really there. Trust is key; believing in them is key. When you lose belief in them, you lose trust and once that occurs, communication is severed. After that...divorce.

I read a poem many years ago that said some things that are very true...

I love you for you not for who I want you to be
I need you to love me for me, not where you seek me to be;
I cannot fix your past nor can you fix mine.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
nor are you in this world to live up to mine;
I am I and you are you and if by chance we find each other,
then it's beautiful;

love is unconditional. That how I love and my future knows this. I understand that we don't meet eye to eye on everything but I do understand that we MEET. there is a lot involved in loving someone but when you live it, the work is not a difficult as people make it to be. Walking in love with a clear understanding of who you're with makes the walk worthwhile. Being evenly yolked with one and seeking Gods' favor will increase it immensely.

Ps: I chose not to take a biblical viewpoint for the question was asking my personal views. although they are one in the same, true love is real and I walk it no matter my belief system...
You all have good and valid points

Love in general...yes up until recently, I've never experienced in my life, love that was unconditional from friends, hardly ever from family. I learned this at a very early age and it sometimes effects me even to this day. As previously mentioned love should be unconditional yet there is a cycle that has taken place where lessons on love are passed down from generation to generation. I learned love lessons from my mother, she from hers, so on and so forth. I have the desire to love unconditionally and seems it's me who'll be the one to end this vicious cycle.

* I feel a rant coming so I'll stop there*

As for black love knowing what it is...I can't say I've experienced it. I've been in many relationships short term and two long term. And again...they were all conditional. I had to give up something to get love in return.(sex, $$, dance, family,friends,love of self) If black love is reciprocal, unconditional, loyal, faithful, accepting of the person you are and the person you strive to be, nurturing, non-abusive physically/mentally/emotionally/sexually...then I have YET to experience black love.

This love thing effected me to the point where I tried so hard to please him that I lost myself in him.

I believe that love of God and self first is important before you can love someone else. That goes for family, friends and romantic relationships.

I believe that true love/black love can/does exsist. It's evident right here on Destee's board.
Well Kemet

I understand where you're coming. Basically, what I've desired is to be loved and accepted for the person that I am and desire to be. As you said, love is the WILLINGNESS to become a better person for the sake of your mate.

I've been willing to become a better person for my mate (at the time) and for myself but, even still, that wasn't enough for him. That's why we're not together now.

There should definately be mutuality and reciprocity in a relationship!!:)

I think your assumption that there is no "unconditional love" is just that... "an assumption". I think if you adjust your pessimistic attitude, you could open up to the possibility of such a thing.

If we all dig a little deeper we will see that love does not mean relationships.... love does not mean marriage. I myself believe all things are possible.... I also believe that most people marry for convenience and compatiblility (right or wrong)....neither of which have anything to do with love...



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