Black Relationships : What do you think of this

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by intolerant, Dec 10, 2003.

  1. intolerant

    intolerant Active Member MEMBER

    May 18, 2003
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    Legit-writer has posted something about parents not liking someone that their child is dating. Here is my situation:

    I have been dating this one guy and he lives with his mother, aunt and grandmother. We have been going together for over a month. I pay for most of the dates because I have a job at the moment. I never mad a big deal out of it. We both feel that they are right for each other, but his mother is the only one in the house who is treating me bad. The mother was saying that it is strange and does not like the fact that my friend pays for most of the dates. I go to church with him and his aunt. And everyone knows in the church that we go together. Well 2 Sundays ago I called to tell my boyfriend that I have made it home safely, and I overheard his mother yelling at him, saying "If she gets you put in jail for anything, I am going to kill her a**". So after that, my boyfriend was asking his mom if she is drunk or something and she said no. But it appears that she was. So he was calling himself defending her and saying that I am some crook, like she thinks I am, just because I pay for most of the dates. His mother was claiming that I am illegally getting the money from somewhere, and that she thinks that I am trying to get her son to do illegal things, which is silly thinking, and so he wrote a letter to his mom, stating that I am not a crook and that I am sweet lady. But his mother did not want to hear that. So all of a sudden, she says that I am not welcomed in the house anymore and his mother would not let me in the house when I pick him up to go out. The house is his aunt's technically, and she see no problems with her and neither does his grandmother. So her aunt told me that she cannot tell who can come in her house and who is not welcomed and this is not her home. She said that she was going to talk to her about her behavior. She also tells me that I have done no harm and that she does not know why his mother is treating me the way she is. His mom has a drinking problem. His aunt was also telling me that she would talk to her about it. My boyfriend in this was saying that his mother is not being fair and that all of these things she is saying about me are not true and he is not going to let her break us up. I have not been feeling good about this whole thing. Then just this past Sunday, his mother was telling him that I am crazy and that I am not allowed to come in the house anymore and that if I knock on the door to see him, she is not going to answer the door and that she is going to get someone else to answer the door. My boyfriend was upset and bothered at the fact that she was talking bad about me. He was telling me not not break up with him because of an outside opinion because that would make us a weak couple if we do so. He also tells me that it would be embarrassing to all the people who knows we go together (the whole church). I feel bothered. My boyfriend also tells me that he will do whatever it takes for us to stay together and that he is going to let God handle this. I asked him "Does your mom have unresolved issues?" He responded with this:

    "I was dating this one lady name Aimee, and my mother chose this woman to be my date with I was 18 and we went to the prom together. We started going together. And after me and Aimee broke up after a year, my mother was telling me that I am going to regret for breaking up with Aimee. So every since Aimee, she never liked the women that I have chosen to date. But you know what? If we stay together for a long time, I bet my mother is going to have a different perception of you."

    And that was it for now. Please tell me what you think of this situation

    Thank you
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    United States
    Mar 21, 2001
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    BUSINESS owner
    my thoughts is the problem is the fact drinking seem to be it
    get started and the young lady become the target and bashing
    her she also maybe afraid to let her son go move on
    it's all in the bottle ..if not for it she would be treated more nice
    and accepted better .
  3. Nia Maishani

    Nia Maishani Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Nov 22, 2001
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    Business Owner
    Displaced at the Junction of Hoosiers and Bluegras
    Welcome to the boards, intolerant

    First, I'd like to request that you go back and read over your post, and edit it to read more clearly. You will likely get more responses that way. First, you said that you pay for most of the dates, then you said your friend pays for most of the dates, and his mother doesn't like the fact :confused:. you said his aunt doesn't have a problem with his mother, then you said she is going to talk to her about her problem. Then, someplace, you referred to his aunt as "her" aunt. Whose related to whome doesn't really matter, but it just makes your post kind of confusing.

    Question: was Aimee white? How much money are you spending, where it seems you might have an illegal gig? How old is your boyfriend? What is your age? I'm asking these questions for specific reasons, and primarily to try and speculate on your boyfriend's mother's motives. When was the first time his mother started being rude toward you? What is your response when she is that way toward you?