Black Women : What do you mean when you say ... "Be a Man"


Feb 18, 2003
IMO, when a woman tells a man to "be a man" she may be referring to the fact that he is either not being responsible and is acting out the boy inside of him. some men on one hand want to be the dictator, and still want to do what children do. they may only be thinking of their, own emotions at times and behaving in ways that are not conducive to the bettement of either partner.:toast:


Well-Known Member
Jun 19, 2005
I'm a Georgia Peach!!!!
working to own my plus size empire.....
i told my man be a man when he start neglecting his duties to me. it became hard on me when he lost his job. i love him with all my heart but i couldnt carry his load no more. he a child not by me and wasnt meeting his obligations. even tho his baby mama and i don't get along. i told him being their morally isn't enough he needs to provide finacially. you know they are reforming the child support order now. now both parents must pay instead of the absent father. this is making all the men around the world happy. i say its not right, and the monies they award sucks too. this world is expensive. i love him dearly but i had just snap and told him he should be taking care of me. its not my responsibility to feed ya, clothe ya, sex ya, oh wait a minute scratch that, get your beer, have dinner ready when i'm working hell naw. brotha had to go i told him get a job stop mooching off of me. and in plain words i said BE A *********MAN! I WAS MAD AS******************* SORRY JUST VENTING!!!!!!!!:kiss1: :maddd:

Dual Karnayn

Well-Known Member
Nov 5, 2005
My Sisters ... (of course Brothers are welcome to comment too) ... what do you mean when you tell a "man" to "be a man?" I don't know what made me just think of this, but i did.

I'm wondering how we can suggest for a man to be a man, when God made him a man. Are we any less a woman because we may not live up to the expectations of others? I know there is no single act that can take my "woman-ness" from me. So why do we sometimes suggest that a man can be less than a man? Should we challenge ourselves not to attack our Brother's very manhood? And, if there is any truth to the cliche, it takes one to know one, aren't we the last ones to be suggesting that a man isn't a man?
But I don't think a woman born in this society should ever tell a man to "be a man".

Not knowing what it's like to be a man nor having the proper education on masculinity, she's in no real position to question anyone's manhood.

Plus, a lot of times women use that phrase too lightly and often at the wrong time.

I was working with a old girlfriend in the school office one time....we were in our teens....and she wanted me to go somewhere with her.
I said no, and she jumped up smiling and kept saying "be a man" "be a man and go with me down there".
Then the female teacher who was with us started saying the same thing in a joking manner.

"Come a man and go with Noel down there, maybe she'll need you for something".

So both of them were on me with this "be a man" crap.

I wasn't hurt or anything like that, but I was a little irritated that these two chicks...if both of them were combined.....wouldn't be as strong as me had the nerve to tell me who wasn't even 18 yet to "be a man".

I think for someone to challenge your manhood they should atleast be a man and have a thorough knowledge of manhood themselves.


Well-Known Member
May 17, 2004
Security Guard
I think most (rational) people would agree that when they say "be a man" they're telling him to be responsible, to be the head of the household, to "put his foot down" and behaive in such a way that properly compliements his "manhood." In the face of everything, we (in society and most mainstream religions) are told that men are supposed to maintain, support and protect women, and women are their partners, help-mates, whatever. The problem is that in this day and age, gender roles are not clearly defined. But I definately think that "be a man" means taking care of responsibilities rather than trying to shirk his duties, especially in a family sense. Too many men are getting themselves in situations and not picking up the slack. (Now, the women... that's a whole'nother can of works....)


Well-Known Member
Jan 22, 2004
I feel that no woman is in the postion to tell a man to "be a man".

First of all, what woman knows what it's like to be a man and what it takes to be a man?

Secondly, if you have to tell your man to "be a man", then obviously you don't know anything about men....because you picked the wrong one.

Third, usually when a woman says "be a man", it's because she's trying to belittle him and get him to do something, whether it's right or wrong. Women try and mess with a man's ego in order to manipulate him into action. Also, many times it's regarding MONEY.

The only one who knows how to be a man...are men (and not all men at that). That's why women are raising so many little hoodlums, because they have no idea what it takes to be or raise a man. If you can't even mold a little impressionable baby into a man, how do you think you can tell a grown man to "be a man". It makes no sense. If a woman utters those words to a man that's secure in himself and the way he lives his life, she might find herself along with the majority of women in this country......single.

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