Black Relationships : What Do You Consider Disrespect?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Ralfa'il, May 17, 2005.

  1. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A question for the lovely daughters of Destee.com.

    If you were walking down the street and a pretty good looking black man complimented you on how nice your hips or breasts were....ofcourse it would deepend greatly on how he said it.....but would you consider it offensive?


    And if you say yes; do you mean offensive in an "embarrasing" manner or offensive as in actually making you "angry"?
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    it's inappropriate, unnecessary and immature.

    do not say anything to my woman behind my back that you can not say in front of my face!

    as a man i am very tired of the chumps who constantly run their months on the sisters. i'm sick of it.
    the more noise they make the less they have going on in their own life.
    if you actually have a woman and your belly is full and you are satisfied there is no need to approach the other sisters on a sexual level.
    that should have been taken care of at home.

    if i caught you making remarks toward my woman, there would be a war.
    why would you say something to my woman when she is alone that you would not say when she is with me?

    in the black Muslim area of philly that type of behavior will get you removed from the community.
     
  3. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    True indeed.
     
  4. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Once again...

    A question for the lovely daughters of Destee.com.

    If you were walking down the street and a pretty good looking black man complimented you on how nice your hips or breasts were....ofcourse it would deepend greatly on how he said it.....but would you consider it offensive?


    And if you do find it disrespectful...in what manner?
     
  5. Ledda

    Ledda Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't think there is a way a man you've never met could compliment you referring to your body parts no matter how nice or polite he put it. It doesn't seem like something a mature and sincere man would do. At the same time it wouldn't anger or embarrass me, but if this guy were to then ask for my number or suggest we get together I would definately go on about my business without a second thought.
     
  6. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ledda

    Peace

    Women I've never met have complimented me on my arms, or calves and rather than taking offense to it I've found it quite flattering, even it the woman who did the complimenting wasn't that attractive.

    Most of the men I know say the same thing has happened to them and they seemed to love it also.


    When I go to places like Mexico, the men down there frequently whistle at and compliment women for their beauty and sexuality and the women seem to love it; but just go right across the boarder and saying the same thing may get you one across the lips.

    Perhaps this is some sort of CULTURALLY IMPOSED trait unique to the Anglo-American custom that we as AfroAmericans have picked up.



    Now you said that an "attractive" man who did this wouldn't anger or embarrass you, but you still wouldn't let him have that number.

    Why not?

    Is it his boldness that makes him seem threatening like he'd potentially harm you?
     
  7. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    It's interesting that you make the comparison to arms and calves on a man, to the private parts on a woman (as if women don't have calves and arms).

    Can we say "Chauvinistic"?

    Would you feel equally flattered if she made comments about your private parts?

    And you mention this because.........?? How many African-oriented people live in Mexico, for your comparison to be significant?

    It's interesting, that as a self-proclaimed Muslim, you wouldn't see anything wrong with gawking at a woman's body parts. As a Muslim, you're not supposed to even be looking into a woman's EYES, let alone her butt.

    Even more interesting that you would mention Mexico.......Why not mention Africa?

    Men would get slapped in the mouth for making such gestures about a women in East Africa.

    uhmmmm, you don't read too well.

    Ledda's precise statement was:

    "I don't think there is a way a man you've never met could compliment you referring to your body parts no matter how nice or polite he put it. It doesn't seem like something a mature and sincere man would do. At the same time it wouldn't anger or embarrass me, but if this guy were to then ask for my number or suggest we get together I would definately go on about my business without a second thought."

    Nowhere did she say an "attractive" man. Just a man.

    Or perhaps such disrespectu doesn't merit an emotional response? Some women are able to ignore the ignorance of men, you know.

    PEACE
     
  8. indya

    indya Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The men (most) in latin american countries are chauvinistic towards women. Woman who are treated this way come to see it as normal, that doesn't make it less offensive.

    If a man walks up to a woman and comments about her breasts, she's going to see the statement as just what it is...sexual. Not a good opening line, if you're wanting a date. It's insulting, and it will be treated that way by most women.
     
  9. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    Here's a better question:

    Would you wish for some other man to make such lewd comments about YOUR MOTHER's body parts?

    If not, then there's your answer (as if this isn't common sense to begin with).
     
  10. Ledda

    Ledda Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    All that glitters aint gold. Just because he's an attractive man doesn't mean he's a good man. If the man isn't interested in me, then by all means compliment me and go on the way. I'll probably, most likely smile back. It'll probably even make my day. But if he tries to hit on me I'd be thinking, "Is this how he approaches all women? What if later on today he sees another woman with nice breasts or hips? What's up player?" This flattered me a lot more when I was a teen ager and in my early 20's. I'll be 30 next year and things like that just don't do it for me anymore. It's not his boldeness that makes him threatening, but if you're really diggin a sister, approach her and say the right thing first, then tell me later, like after a few dates or meetings, what you think about my cheast and butt. That's just how I feel. Another woman might think differently.
     
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