Black Relationships : What do men really want??

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Poeticsoulsista, Sep 16, 2004.

  1. Poeticsoulsista

    Poeticsoulsista Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ok I'll start by explaining why I'm so darn confused.....

    About maybe 2 months ago I met this young man on the net. :blush: He's sucessful, sweet, handsome, just all around a good man. We started getting to know each other and things were going fine. I work two jobs so many times I talk to him when I'm on my way to my second job or after I get off my second job. He had no problem with this. The pictures I had given him was very old and they looked nothing like me so I sent him new pictures of me. He had to have recieved the pictures by now and ever since last friday I haven't talked to him. :mad: I called him one night and I guess he tried to send my call to his voice mail but he must have pushed the wrong button and in the background I could hear him talking about me to someone. What he said I will not repeat but it was hurtful things :crying:. After a couple of minutes he realized his phone was on and i might be on the line listening so he picked up, but I hung up soon as he realized his phone was on. Now last night he leaves me a voice message like everything is fine. I'm supposed to go see him next weekend. We already made hotel and train reservations. I ereased his number out of my phone as soon as I heard his talking about me so I haven't called him back. He said before seeing what I look like now, that he liked and admired me and would like fo us to get to know each other better and now he's actin funny.

    Why is it when a man get what he's been searching for they start actin stupid? I began to care for this person and I haven't opened up to any one since my break up with my ex almost well the 12th made it 3 years ago and now I feel like I'm back at square one.

    Fellows why do so many men run when they find what they've been looking for and ladies if you was in my shoes what would you do? Should I cancel the reservations and be through with it or should I wait and get an explanation from him. Maybe I didn't hear what I think I heard.

    Poetic Sista
     
  2. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    Hey My Sistah!

    Understand this......just like many sistahs, many brothas are different. When some men are around their homeboys, they do things such as talk about women. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative. i would not canel me reservations just yet, although if it is how I think it is, I would not recommend staying the same hotel room as him! You should see him face-to-face, and tell him exactly how you feel now. You are talking over the phone, he can say anything. You meet him face-to-face, get as much honesty as possible out of him. Start out by finding out of he was REALLY talking about you. Then ask him face-to-face, what he really thinks about you. If he means it, he will look you in the eyes and tell you what he really thinks about you. Any man can say over the phone and over the computer that they really care about you, but you would never know until they look you in the eyes.

    So don't cancel until you are sure that things are falling apart. And don't make this friendship end so quickly. Get your proof that he was REALLY talking about you, and find out the truth as to how and why he changed. Hopefully, the man has nothing to hide from you.

    Good Luck!

    Cedric Denson
     
  3. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    IT WOULD BE NICE TO KNOW WHAT THE GUY WAS SAYING TO HIS HOMEBOY, BUT MY GUESS IS THAT YOU AREN'T HIS TYPE PHYSICALLY. MOVE ON GIRL.


    THAT'S MY "BIG" OPINION.
     
  4. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well I dont know what he said but it must of really been wrong...to make you feel as you do...I would cancel the reservations and move on...after all its his lost not yours....keep your head up for love will find you one day...and skip him he sounds like a clown that showed his true colors......just my 3 cent

    Peace
    Angel
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    life is short, move on.
     
  6. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Poeticsoulsista

    As Big said, it would be nice to know what you overheard the guy say on the phone. It would give us a clue to his character. Depending on what you overheard him say, you may not want to talk to him again anyway.

    To answer your question, how do you know that you are the one he is looking for? You may think you're the one but he may think you're the one for right now. You may think HE's the one for right now. You never know. Give it some more time before making a claim such as that.

    When guys actually find the one, we may run because we aren't ready. We may be a little too immature right now. Or, we don't want that type of commitment or responsibility. Or, there may be issues in our past that we haven't dealt with as of yet...and it prevents us from getting into a serious relationship.

    Internet hookups are funny. My advice is to take your time with ANYONE you're thinking about getting serious with that you've met online. The same goes for offline as well...but moreso online. Take the number of "wannabe" playas offline and multiply that by 200 for the number of "wannabe" playas online. Fake pics, fake video feeds, etc etc. Craziness like lying about your height, your weight, your skin complexion...smh. It's a mess. Just be careful and take your time. If they're lying, it will be revealed in time.
     
  7. Poeticsoulsista

    Poeticsoulsista Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Firstly he was saying some other things that I'm not gonna say cause it's very personal. They weren't exact but they sounded close to what I told him about certain things that's happening in my life right now that's I'm a little ashamed of. You know what's it's not gonna hurt. Everyone else just found out I guess I could share with yall too. I got raped and I was molestedwhen I was younger. He said Well it could have been some one else but he referred to the person he was talking about as she.
    His words or close to them were: her sh*t probably open like a Muthaf*cka
    other person: forreal
    him: yeah she been get it in since she was like 12/13.She probably a hood rat. She look like a straight whore. And those lips.... Man We definitely gonna have to see what's with the you know you know. But seriously this b*tch be calling me like clock work. She on my dyck hard.
    other person: she believe that sh*t you be talkin don't she
    him: yeah You know another ho to add to the list.
    the other person just laughed and said you ain't right and then he said You know how I do. I give no love or respect to these b*tches. and then they both started laughing
    He must have looked at his phone for some reason and he was like oh sh*t yo my phone was on all that time.
    That's when I hung up.

    It could have been his cousin doing the talking and he was listening but I don't know. It sounded more like him than his cousin.

    Poetic Sista
     
  8. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Poeticsoulsista

    After reading that, move on. He's not worth it. I won't go into it here. But he's not worth it...and won't be. I can tell your feelings are deeper for him than his are for you.

    Sorry to read about your rape and molestation. They weren't your fault. NEVER blame yourself for that.

    GOD bless, my sweet Sista.

    :grouphug:
     
  9. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would move on. You heard what you heard so don't try and fool yourself into thinking he didn't say it. Make sure you cancel the reservations first. If he calls back, take one last call from him and see where he is coming from and why he said what he said. If he sounds like he's lying...he probably is. Go with your gut.....not your heart. More than likely he got the pictures and maybe you weren't his type. Now, it's just gonna turn into just a "sex thang" because it sounds like he doesn't respect you, but he's still willing to meet you at a hotel. Either way, it's not worth wasting your time to see him face to face. You can accomplish what you need to over the phone. I would say just get his side of the story and more than likely end the relationship. If I heard someone speak badly about me to someone else.......then that's it. I probably wouldn't believe a thing out of that person's mouth. Safe bet...end it and find someone who deserves your time.

    I just read your last post baby. DO NOT GIVE THIS GUY ANOTHER CHANCE PERIOD. NO WAY IN HELL. ANY MAN THAT SAYS THAT ABOUT A WOMAN AIN'T [email protected]
     
  10. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    OKAY??!?!

    Cancel Christmas. I would not be meeting this man. I would not be entertaining phone calls from him either. I WOULD tell him that I overheard what he said, but I guess for me there would be no need to hear his explaination. He sounds like he is 19 years old...pretty childish. I mean, do you really want to be added to this punks list?? I'm sure you are not a b*tch.

    Sorry he hurt you like that but don't just move on....RUN!

    AND, if his own friend said he ain't right...I'm sure he isn't.
     
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