Black Relationships : What are your thoughts on interracial dating?

Status
Not open for further replies.
I used to believe that folk should stay within their own race. My main reason for this was quite selfish, almost feeling a physical pain (heartache) when I saw a black man with a white woman. I somehow took this very personal. As though I had something to do with what every black man did and who he did it with.

I've grown beyond this kind of thinking (for my own sanity's sake) and understand that folk will embrace love where they find it. If that happens to be in the arms of someone of a different color, background, class, religion, (and even same sex), so be it. If God gave them the ability to choose, who am I to take that choice from them?

I have my own life to maintain, make decisions for, figure out and give account of ... no whole buncha time to worry about anyone else's.
 
Dating - The Color/Race Thing

Should you - should you not? We (or most of us African-Americans) are the result of inter-racial relationships. Enough said about that. I find that all relationships require a lot of energy to keep them flowing in the right direction. I would have great difficulty in adding race to the mix. Dating other that African-American brothers (another subject) is not for me.
 
About the topic...

I use to get angry when I saw
a black man with a white woman
and sometimes I still do, but not for reasons of jealousy or disgust for the white race. I too, have personal issues on dating outside my race. I have to be honest and say, for me...its just too much bad history and knowing my African American history, I wouldn't be able to adapt.
I don't think thats racist, I think thats real. My problem with interracial dating, is some, need to really dig deep and find out the reasons.....why? Cause it ain't always about love, There are some white women/men who are married to a black woman/man, but don't like black people and the black woman/man knows this and just goes along with the program.

There are some black men/women,
who hate themselves so much, they won't look twice at the opposite sex of their race. I have a problem with
black women/men who go into these relationships and lose themselves. either before or after they are in them. Their attitudes are completely assimulated to the point where there is no more love of themselves or love or respect for their own people. I have heard (some)black men say that, "thats why I don't date a black woman...they to mouthy, I got to work to hard, or white women are more understanding" or (some) black women say, they all thugs, they don't want nothing, all they wanna do is
sit up in your house and sponge, they all leave their kids, a white man can get me the things I need."

Then these atitudes have children, place themselves in a bubble....like the outside world don't exist. Theres no racism.....no color barriers....everything is honkey dorey (no pun intended). While in the real world, once, they send their children out
in it. Their called.....zebras, n*****s, and all the other desparaging names that people use to describe them.
Then they come home and the parents say....its their problem, you just continue to be you. Now what that does, is it sets that child on a path of confusion, anger, hating themselves
and a series of identity crisis..that they may never recover from.
I believe, this is a matter..you can't choose going into lightly....if the world were different, it wouldn't matter.

Ultimately, the decision to date interracially will have long range
effects on everyone involved. If this is completely understood,
and you are comfortable in your own skin.....and your children(especially the black parent because, it is his black heritage that will be attacked most often) are taught the necessary
tools to combat racism.....and they completely understand their heritage.

Then the children will grow up stable and healthy. I have a brother who is married to a white woman....and I have seen first hand the results of a interracial couple, who took their kids (2sons) moved into a all white community, raised the children there and neither child was exposed to the
their black heritage, only by way of their father's skin and racist remarks.
My brother had totally assimulated himself into that world. Now his 21 year old son, is filled with hate, anger and don't know who he is......and the 15 year old is on his way to the same fate.

Again, the decision is more then just the two people involved, society has a way of putting things into perspective for you, its sad.....but reality...just the same. For some the adjustments may
lead to confusion and shame. If you can get pass those adjustments with true understanding, with out
losing yourself then......

love will conquer all



Epiphany :heart:
 
Love Thy Self

Many good responses (and I have read them all). Excellent points made by Epiphany, Asabagna, Kemetstry and Joyce. As a 28-year-old Afrikhan wombman born in this foreign land where my Afrikhan family (including all of you) and I are under constant psychological warfare, I find it difficult to find a suitable mate within the Afrikhan race, not to speak of races outside of it. In my opinion, the average Ebony man is so incessantly indoctrinated by the ways, thoughts and practices of the anglo saxon white supremacist dominant culture, that it becomes too cumbersome a task for me to have to constantly work to pull him from out of his brainwashed state. Time and again, I meet and briefly date otherwise good, decent Ebony men, and then have to let them go because I discover that they possess an inferiority complex that is too deeply rooted for me to have the patience to deal with long-term, struggling to resolve it.

My countless observations have led me to conclude that far fewer Afrikhan women have allowed themselves to remain brainwashed than have Afrikhan men. This explains why there is an obvious trend of black male/white female couples, while there is no such TREND with Ebony wombmen. All that said, I decided not long ago that although I have no interest in ever having a white male head my household, and the ideal situation is for an Ebony man to head my household, my options are open to "some" other men of color. I can't be 40 years old still waiting for a suitable Ebony man to step up to the plate.

As much as I hate to have to admit, I would prefer to date a non-black (though non-white) man who appreciates a strong, proud black woman regardless of whether she is "cocoabutter light" complected or "dark brown" (notice the difference in connotation and phrasing when a black man refers to different shades of Ebony women), than to date a black man who is color-struck or who has been with white women. The natural Afrikhan way is to look at the opposite sex and see a spirit, not physical characteristics, with the exception of seeing a general reflection of the self and gravitating toward it. It is clearly a sign of self-hatred when an Afrikhan is more excited about the idea of going to the deepest level of intimacy with someone who has historically symbolized and epitomized his/her death and destruction than he/she is about the idea of going to the deepest level of intimacy with someone who was created most closely in his/her own image. An even deeper indication of self-hatred is when an Afrikhan is more excited about reproducing offspring that do not look like him/her than wishing to reproduce offspring that closely resemble him/her.

That's about genotype. Now, let's talk culture. The european culture is an altogether different and opposite culture from the Alkebu-lan culture, and I have no intention of sacrificing my own culture to meld with theirs. Sexually, there are alien acts that anglo saxon women tend towards, that may have been introduced to Ebony men who have been sexually involved with anglo saxon women. When I hear Ebony men proclaim that they "love" women in general, that tells me that they have no boundaries, regardless of the situation of the world they live in. It tells me that they are ignorant of or in denial of the crucial differences among the cultures, some of which may be antithetical to the Holistic well-being of the Afrikhan. I have seen black men who are constantly trumpeting the "Black Power" message turn around and be with a white woman. Black people are not empowered by being naive enough to pair with those who are only ostensibly their ally, and insidiously their enemy. I also feel it is not in the best interest of an Afrikhan to pair with anyone from a non-Afrikhan culture who has an anglo-saxon supremacist complex. It is my strong conviction that the vast majority of caucasians are racist/white supremacist, and that the vast majority of those (especially caucasians) who date/marry interacially do so for unsound reasons. In my opinion some of the caucasians who date Afrikhans are even more racist in their thinking than are most caucasians who date their own people. Beware of the caucazoid female who dates only Ebony men. That is the caucazoid who perceives Ebony men through the lens of her most racist ancestors, who lusted sexually after Afrikhans because it seemed taboo (because Afrikhans were thought of in the same way as animals--horses, dogs, etc.).

In closing, I will say that one cannot "LOVE" anyone else if he/she has not learned to love him/herself. Those who love themselves naturally seek to reproduce themselves, not to dilute the blood of their progeny. As for the comment about all of us being products of interracial relations, that sounds like an attempt to convince oneself (and others) that we are not really Afrikhan. You/We are what your/our dominant genes say you/we are. You/We are Afrikhan and nothing less.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on Etophil's profile.
Welcome to Destee
@Etophil
Destee wrote on SleezyBigSlim's profile.
Hi @SleezyBigSlim ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :flowers: ... please make yourself at home ... :swings:
Back
Top