Black Relationships : What are the signs of a Crazy Lover?

[IntuitioninMD]

LOLOL .. no.. this ended about 8 years ago

Rich, I suppose what is being bossy to one person, isn't to the other. Is the person asking someone to do something that they already promised that they would do? Is it something that most would say is reasonable? For example, yelling at someone to cook my dinner, or take out that trash, is bossy. Reminding someone of something they promised to do months ago, is not.
IntuitionMD, if you have gotten to the point where you have to sleep with a weapon handy, they are crazy, and sounds like you are being driven in that direction as well.

lol.... That is the thing... once you have SEEN crazy... you cannot ignore it in future relationships.

I TELL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME... ONCE I GOT TO THE POINT TO SLEEP WITH THE KNIFE UNDER THE PILLOW... THE RELATIONSHIP HAD BEEN OVER for at LEAST 2 YEARS.. but this relationship lasted for 5 YEARS. lol

Now, I will not wait that long. Actually, like it was mentioned over and over in this thread.. be able to identify if the person is crazy in the beginning. With that relationship , I began to think back about some of his irrational behaviours.. such as: Opening the door in the dark while standing behind it or having a gun in the side of the couch or just not being able to accept when the relationship is over.

It is difficult and a challenge trying to identify who is CRAZY if you have never been in a crazy situation. BUt, we do not have to go through these crazy situations - we just need to KNOW and believe what we KNOW is true. KNOWing does not have to involve any physical proof. You do not have to wait for a guy to beat you up in order to determine if he is crazy.

 

[river]

lol.... That is the thing... once you have SEEN crazy... you cannot ignore it in future relationships.

I TELL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME... ONCE I GOT TO THE POINT TO SLEEP WITH THE KNIFE UNDER THE PILLOW... THE RELATIONSHIP HAD BEEN OVER for at LEAST 2 YEARS.. but this relationship lasted for 5 YEARS. lol

Now, I will not wait that long. Actually, like it was mentioned over and over in this thread.. be able to identify if the person is crazy in the beginning. With that relationship , I began to think back about some of his irrational behaviours.. such as: Opening the door in the dark while standing behind it or having a gun in the side of the couch or just not being able to accept when the relationship is over.

It is difficult and a challenge trying to identify who is CRAZY if you have never been in a crazy situation. BUt, we do not have to go through these crazy situations - we just need to KNOW and believe what we KNOW is true. KNOWing does not have to involve any physical proof. You do not have to wait for a guy to beat you up in order to determine if he is crazy.

You are right. Now this man I am married to thinks as long as he doesn't put his hands on me it's not abuse. His efforts to abuse me psychologically have not been very sucessful because to me thay are so transparent. I used to joke about there being two ofhim but he got really agitated and ordered me not to do that. I thought wow I've struck a nerve. There are two of him and everytime my foot is ready to hit the door the nice one comes out. When I unpack my bags and settle back down the mean one comes out. I'm not going to keep going through this. I will have to keep walking even when he's wearing the white hat cause really it's just a hat.

 

[watzinaname]

I am sorry to hear this river. Do be careful sis, we consider you to be a gem.

 

[$$RICH$$]

any man that hit a woman is not crazy he foolish to do such
send him ova here to me where a real man is so we go toe 2 toe
bet he want hit another Queen again i promise that , one thing i
can't handle is a man who hits a woman

Crazy folks will give you a sign that they have some kind of mental problem
it will present it's self , we can't see it coming but we not blind to facts when
they are before you , I always say beware of the shadow if you can't see the
shadow then somethings wrong !

 

[IntuitioninMD]

You are right. Now this man I am married to thinks as long as he doesn't put his hands on me it's not abuse. His efforts to abuse me psychologically have not been very sucessful because to me thay are so transparent. I used to joke about there being two ofhim but he got really agitated and ordered me not to do that. I thought wow I've struck a nerve. There are two of him and everytime my foot is ready to hit the door the nice one comes out. When I unpack my bags and settle back down the mean one comes out. I'm not going to keep going through this. I will have to keep walking even when he's wearing the white hat cause really it's just a hat.

Yes, please becareful. Most of the time the psychological abuse is worse. I do admit.. because of everything that was happening in the relationship one time I FLIPPED OUT... I was trying to kill him. Temporarily, I truly did go insane. He just looked at me... like he was amazed. My sister continued to sit on the couch and his cousin was in arms length and he did not try to do anything either. Keeping all of those emotions balled up inside is so dangerous.

I now use my past experiences to gadge my future. Some people will say I am jaded, but we have a responsibility to learn from our past.

I tell all men... I am a woman.. I am a very emotional being... Also.. as a true woman... I have very strong instincts and intuition.... If you do not want to be with me.. it is best that you leave me and my type alone. OUr bodies are precious, but so is our hearts and minds. SOme times you want to give the person the benefit of the doubt, but the best approach when you want it to work is the direct approach. If you want the relationship to last, you must find a peaceful way to let him know what he is doing directly and in doing so you are giving him an opportunity to truly change. If he does not.. that is simple because he does not want to change.

Good Luck. YOur situation will be in my prayers.