Black Women : What African American Women Deserve

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by NNQueen, May 12, 2004.

  1. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Sisters, in my quest to always bring interesting topics to the table for discussion, I recently found a paper that I thought would make an excellent topic for us to discuss here and/or in Sister Chat. It's titled "What African American Women Deserve", written by Brendan Ballard (2002).

    Here's a brief excerpt:

    "The image of black women as oversexed welfare mothers, too lazy to work but all too eager to cheat the system, has been a mainstay in America's consciousness since the Reagan era. In this instance, black women are seen as too powerful--able not only to negotiate, but also to manipulate the system in their favor."

    "To evaluate the status of African American women in the United States is to implicitly and explicitly make judgements about the value of societal systems such as patriarchy and capitalism. Deciding on the policies that will most aid the black community involves questions that are at once theoretical and practical: Is the nuclear family the best structure in which to raise children? Is the definition of family contingent on a male breadwinner and a female caregiver? Do we provide government-funded childcare for working single mothers? Is violence against women necessary to uphold male order? How do we create domestic violence shelters that are welcoming to black as well as white women?"

    I invite you to read this paper, think about the position of the author on this important topic and let's have a serious and deep discussion of it.

    http://www.pubpol.duke.edu/courses/pps273/ballard_1.pdf

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  2. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi NNQ...
    Surely I am interested in reading this but it wouldn't let me open the file for some reason...I will try again.
     
  3. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Sister Queen, I hope you find the reason for not being able to open the file soon and fix it. It's a 21 page pdf and is a very interesting read. I think Brothers will find it interesting also because it addresses every day issues that most Black women face and offers solutions or remedies based on a societal level. In it we might begin to find answers to a number of social questions we ask here all the time and it may offer us some tangible ways in which we can get more involved in our communities. If nothing else, it starts with dialogue and I think we should discuss the author's facts and see where we can go from there. Push come to shove and I will email the document to you as an attachment. Just let me know.

    Peace and support sister!
    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  4. happy69

    happy69 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Excellent find Queen,

    The only thing that rubs me about the article is that it relies on White Women coming to Our rescue.
    As strange as it may seem, I think that if anyone does the rescuing it is of Us doing so for them.
    I do believe that Black Women have to get back to communitiship. I don't think that Black Men can or even will help the process. Not today. Not Right Now.
    I agree with the author's statements that the issues of Black Women are and have always been pushed aside. And the biggest perpetrators of this are Us-Black Women. I believe within the soul and core of my being that, "Black Women Love Their Sons and Raise Daughters." I believe in the core of my being that We Women believe that "We are not women Unless We have A Man."
    Surely, these traits are not just within Our Spectrum; and I would like to suggest that this is far more prevalent within the Majority's Community...and I think that it is truth; so is abuse and violence...But, that is not the issue; and as much as I say stop comparing, I do-- that is a habit that I am consciously trying to rid myself of; so I will stick to the issue of Us.

    Most of What We discuss and banter about and harangue each other about is Our Black Men. I read several articles just recently and all they talked about was schools for Black Boys and Men; help for Black Men... and I found myself saying; "What about Black Girls and Women?"

    I have said a thousand times; " We cannot dream about a Knight In Shining Armour..." coming to rescue Us. We never could. That is not a negative. That is a plus. Usually, Black Girls and Women; go it along.... holding and raising discarded seeds...sometimes after the sacrafice, discarded by the seeds. I think that If Black Women would find it within themselves to Coalition with each other.... use the strength of the Tree Women inside of Us...things can and will change.

    If We start talking and saying to each other; "Spreading your legs does not make you a woman or make you whole... Having babies that you cannot support does not mean that you are a woman... Staying in an abusive relationship does not make you a woman... Dying from Aids for a few minutes of a thrill is going to kill you.... Standing By A Man who rather put his and yours and Our lives in jeopardy for some Bling-Bling does not make you a woman.... Not Reporting A Rape Because his skin looks like yours isn't helping Us or you....etc..."

    BUT WHAT WE SURELY MUST DO IS TALK AND TELL EACH OTHER--"I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY."
    WE BETTER LEARN TO SAY AND DO...RESPECT...

    -never talk about another woman with a man; esp. if it is negative
    -never spend time with a man without his wife or girlfriend present; repect her relationship
    -ostracize boys and men who are disrespectful to girls and women...ostracize and send to jail men and boys who abuse women and girls in any way form or fashion
    -if your "man" has men friends who abuse women and girls, give him an option- cut him loose or cut you loose
    -No Man wants women fighting over him; Respect Yourself enough not to do that...
    ETC...ETC....
    Those are just some of the things that I grew up hearing from my parent's and siblings.

    I think that African-American Women can get some really good things happening... there are several organizations that have been reported on recently...political and social organizations that African-American Women have started; tackling some of the problems that befall Us.

    But, Queen, you know what is at the Core of All This?

    African-American women have to Learn About Their Beauty and Power.
     
  5. Sekhemu

    Sekhemu Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Happy I wanna give you big props for being so honest here, sorely needed :bowdown:
     
  6. happy69

    happy69 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you Sekhemu, thank you...

    Love is honesty.
     
  7. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In a recent discussion I had with a younger Black woman, she said that the reason that she uses profanity when she writes and speaks was so that she would be seen as "down" by her peers. Not judging this young sister's choices, but it made me stop and think about the lengths that we will go to be a member of a group or stand alone on principles and personal beliefs.

    Many of us know full well how peer pressure and acceptance influences us. No one wants to feel alienated or ostracized because we are different. We want to be a part of a group because to be a part of a group means you're not alone and many of us are afraid of taking a stand on our convictions if it renders us a lonely life.

    Sister Happy, you are right when you wrote that we, as Black women, must be willing to stand up and speak out against things that we view as being destructive to us and our community. Standing up together for what we believe is good and honest, will separate us from those that are weaker and willing to compromise their principles.

    How do we help ourselves? By helping each other. Many of us have forgotten how important it is to do that. We are confused when it comes to the way we think about ourselves in relationship to each other such that we don't see the many things we do every day that are harmful and destructive. Simple things such as not speaking to each other when we pass; gossiping about each other over some petty issue; jealousies over this and that; and yes, when we aren't willing to be honest about our relationships with Black men.

    Why are there increasing numbers of African American women suffering from depression these days? Because many of us are living a lie and trying to fight against the contradictions alone.

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  8. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    Hey NNQueen!

    DELETED - SEE ME FOR INPUT
     
  9. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    All some of these women deserve is a bullet to the chest.

    And the others deserve a good man.
     
  10. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    Attention

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