What advice would you give to this brotha?

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by sweetbrownsugar, Jan 14, 2005.

  1. sweetbrownsugar

    sweetbrownsugar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I know a guy. A Brotha. Age 24. (actually he's a family member by marriage) He dropped out of highschool. Is (still) talking about getting his GED. He works odd jobs off and on. Anticipates being picked up by some local NFL farm? team. Won't fool with a sista to save his life. Light or Dark, So he tells people. He has a little girl, 5 by one white girl. A little boy a few months old by another white girl. Has to pay child support for the girl because the mother went to CSE. His drivers license were revoked. Now he can't drive the Car that another totally different White girl (-with money) BOUGHT him. So he latches on to the mother of the little boy. She pays his "way". Remember I said, he won't fool with a sista? There is a sista who he knew. -He claims not in the Biblical sense but she has a Child too and also went to CSE for support. So whenever he works they garnish his pay-for both kids. He Really claims that this child by the Sista is not his. So he ends up lawyer-Court-A Judge makes the Sista take a Paternity Test. He wants any money taken out of his check? Paid Back. The Sista says, even if the Test comes back and the child is not his? She ain't paying nothing. Meanwhile this Brotha as young as he is? I can just.....under my breath I think he's just Sorry. He has a lot of people feeling sorry for him. A grandmother who raised him like her own, supports the children and can hardly do so. It seems everyone is "patting" him on the back instead of "knocking" some sense in his head. There is a lot of Male Guidance as far as family but it is shot to hell. What kind of advice can you give a Young brotha like this? -I forgot to add, the results of the Paternity Test are not back yet, but he is so Wreckless with that, that there is a strong possibility that the Sista's child IS his too.
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    for someone like you just described, i can say nothing.
    his mind is shot.
    his soul is gone.

    my advice would be to you.
    that advice is to stay as far away from him as you can.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    i have to agree
    his mind is entraped in mental confussion
    what anybody say will not stick he is a young man
    stir in the wrong mix for whatever he can get free
    in life but he can be changed and will if he keep living

    what he need to see is his true worth and reality of life
    someone need to show him the meaning of THE SYSTEM
    the common society of dealing for a free ride on whomever
    he also if not stopped will be lost without knowledge and
    find himself lock out from this american dream he see now
    my advice is to continue to talk to him don't give up he's our
    brutha still needing help and a way back to reality and home
     
  4. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    HE'S JACKED UP ON ALL LEVELS. HE'S SO MESSED UP THAT THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY TO THIS CAT.

    HE HAS TO GET HIMSELF OUT OF THIS MESS. I'D JUST TREAT HIM LIKE A FUNGUS AND STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

    THAT'S MY "BIG" OPINION.
     
  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    In all honesty, the advice I would give is for women to steer clear of him! Children/teenagers can be motivated. A grown man (24 while young is still grown) with children should not have to be motivated. In addition if there are men in the family who are available to guide him, what could we possibly say that they couldn't? Some people have to learn their lessons the hard way, and that appears to be this young man's basis of learning!
     
  6. sweetbrownsugar

    sweetbrownsugar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So far what's been said is pretty much what I've done! STAYED AWAY. If I have my two sons in tow? We do a 180. (little boys look to men for...identity and all that too!) I don't want them to be impressed by any of that nonsense. Not that I was asking to GIVE him some advice, myself. He definitely wouldn't want to hear anything coming from me. I just was wondering! I think I probably felt bad about being "family" and still not wanting anything to do with this...grown behind man on the "family" tip either. Thanks for responding fellas.
     
  7. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    catz like this have to learn life lessons on their own...he sounds confused in many ways
    if you don't learn by watching others make mistakes and from your own
    it could be a hard knock life....
    one love
    khasm
     
  8. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    What homie needs to do, providing he's serious about his future and providing that he ACTUALLY HAS A CHANCE AT THE NFL AND IS WILLING TO GET HIS GED...Thios brother needs to pack his stuff, move away from all family and female support and get his life together. I mean, he literally needs to move to another state altogether and do what he claims he's about.

    Cause as it stands, he's under too much mental and emotional stress that his own wreakless behavior and sexual weakness has caused him. To remain in the same environment with the same stresses and influences is only going to suck him in deeper. He has to go on his own, stand on his own, handle his own and be what he claims he can be. If not, homie is a lost cause.
     
  9. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That is good advice brother Keita, a change of environments can work wonders for people (although his child support issues will follow him where ever he goes).
     
  10. Sun Ship

    Sun Ship Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    who should be surprised...if some young black men have issues...

    I agree that this young brother has a lot of issues and you may not be effective trying to advice him anyway. But, we just can’t say, someone is entirely hopeless, at the age of 24, just because some brothers here presently make, or in the past made, better choices at that age. Brother Malcolm was an absolute white woman chasin’ fool in his young manhood and was incarcerated for his ignorance and folly. The Hon. Elijah Muhammad admitted he was a nonproductive alcoholic, until he was 42 years of age. And there are many stories of African American leaders and heroes who lived, less than exemplary and dishonorable lives in their youth and later developed their character.

    Though I agree this brother is a grown man and will have to experience what the greater teacher has to teach. For, we know… time, like life is the greater teacher. But, in one way, he is why we are here at this forum and why Black people have historically had, one leader after another, trying to guide us out of these types of pathetic life styles. I’m not necessarily at odds with the opinions, of some of the brothers that have posted so far, but I am sort of surprised at some of their responses. Man, when I was 24, I made some horrible decisions and sometimes my behavior was very counterproductive. And sometimes I was just a fool! _lol. Sure I had to “sleep in the hard bed, I had made for myself” many times. But, THANK GOD, the folks who kept talking to me, kept talking to me. Many of them are gone on to glory now, (as the old folks would say). But I survive and live through the remembrance of their guidance and wise chastisements to this day.

    Peace,

    Brother Sun :cool:
     
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