Black Relationships : What about celibacy?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by SweetPrincess, Feb 7, 2005.

  1. SweetPrincess

    SweetPrincess Member MEMBER

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    Brothers, if a woman informed you that she was celibate, would you respect her desire to abstain from sex or would you think that she was playing games with you and was holding out. Would you think oh, I wonder if this no sex thing was when I came along or would you accept it for what it was. Would you try harder to tempt her as her flesh might be weaker than a virgin's since she knows what intercourse is like?
     
  2. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Excellent Question

    This is an excellent question Sweetprincess. If brothers are honest you will get a variety of responses. All will start by saying that if you are a virgin saving yourself for your husband than stay strong. If you're are not virgin but has decided to practice celibacy than continue to stay strong. Many women as well as men will say you shouldn't buy the product without testing it first. Well that may work with a new or used car but when you're making a life long committment those rules don't apply. As a matter of fact If you base your relation on those principles than that is the type relationship you'll have. You be trade up for a new model ever 3 to 6 years. This is not what you want. Also lets say you are in a relationship for the good sex, what happens when the sex becomes typical? Will you go from sex partner to sex partner? People have a name for this sort of woman. Oh and believe me there is a double standard. So sweetie if a man really loves you he will wait or marry you. Women may not control a lot of things but that is one thing she has fully control of for the most part. Don't be discouraged, stay steadfast.

    Peace & Love


    Radical Faith
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i would respect what she tells me and move on.
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If a woman wants to be celibate that's cool, but I'm not going down with her. Like james said, I'll respect her, but I'm not obligated to stay. We could be friends and hang out. It depends too if she's a virgin or not. If she's not a virgin and we've already had sex, but all of a sudeen she wants to be celibate, then I'm gone. If she's a virgin waiting for marriage, then we'll never be together anyway, so it wouldn't be an issue. I think it's more of a head game, trying to see how long she can make a man wait for her golden vagina.
     
  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I believe that I would respect a woman's decision to be celibate. However to be honest, I can also understand how some men would doubt a woman's sincerity on the issue. Celibacy is different from maintaining one's virginity! It is more commonly accepted when a woman who is a virgin, request to remain that way until marriage. This is considered honorable to many people. However in the case of celibacy, the woman (or man) has already been sexually active. A lot of guys would question why is this woman deciding to be celibate with me, when every other guy got a chance to sleep with her? This may not be fair, but I do think a lot of guys would feel this way. I think it is necessary to explain why one chooses to become celibate; however, you should also realize not everyone is going to accept this decision. Ultimately if someone wants to be celibate and the man/woman they are dating doesn't agree with it...the best decision would be to part ways.
     
  6. AHMOSE

    AHMOSE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My friend Im dating now is celibate. We are both trusting God to guide us because we both want to wait for that husband/wife that God has for us.
     
  7. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Men and women who are virgins are looked at oddly in a society that promotes sex, sex, sex. Therefore it's best for these types of people to find others who share their philosophy.
     
  8. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This might be true; however, this particular issues isn't virginity, but celibacy. A person who is celibate has had sex before, but currently chooses to refrain from sex. This is an entirely different issue than a person who has never had sex, and chooses to not to until they are married.
     
  9. Sun Ship

    Sun Ship Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When having honest conversations with a few sisters who have gone through that particular type of abstinence, they seem to have had various reasons to be celibate; sometimes spiritual and sometimes mental/emotional. I had a few tell me, that they had to eventually accept celibacy “mentally”, because there was an absence of a suitable male in their life, so celibacy in principle, was an idea that seem to lessen the anxiety and stress of not having an accessible and compatible sex partner.

    I personally, don’t think it’s right to tempt someone who is trying to refine and discipline their life, be it celibacy or anything else. But, I also don’t think a person should play their ability to abstain from sexual activity against a person who can’t…such as, some sort of pseudo-sexual recreational petting and foreplay. I think a celibate woman or man should create and respect a platonic boundary, for him or herself, as well as anyone they may admire or be emotionally attached to.
     
  10. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well said brother Sun Ship, I agree!
     
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