As a substitute teacher I always have kids running up and tattle-telling on each other over the dumbest crap and it irritates the hell outta me...and 95% of the time I don't do anything about...and I just look at them and ask them, "so what do you want me to do about it?"..and they say, "I don't know" then the kids run of and they are fine...
I hate snitches who snitch for stupid reasons...It brings me back to the day this girl snitched on me in high school and said I tried to kill her with a pocket knife, which never happened...and I told that chick if she tells on me I'd come back and punch her in her face...And I kept my word...
Stop snitching and handle your grown self accordingly.
I'm done........................for now.
I'm talking about the ones who report violations all the time...they need to handle themselves.
I can see how you'd liken our situation to the scenario you presented above, but it doesn't match my experience with moderating in this community. While some may want to act like children, they are penalized for doing so. Our rules require for every Member to manage their own interactions to respectful ends, and not run to us to negotiate that for them. We don't do that for Members. In fact, repeated complaints about others, that could be managed by simply putting the Member on ignore, disengaging, walking away, etc., is expected. Repeated failures to do so, and then complaining about the end result, has consequence.
Making these calls aren't always easy or transparent to everyone watching, but i've been doing it a very long time and can almost do it with my eyes closed. It's no big deal. I'm pretty efficient at it, and invest minimal amounts of time resolving such issues.
It's good for a Member to report a violation. If they report it, they can learn what actually qualifies as a violation. Oftentimes, what one person thinks is a violation, is not a violation in this community. Our rules are unique to this community i believe, not standard, run of the mill forum rules ... especially with our high standards. So it's not always easy to even know if a thing is a violation or not. By asking, reporting, etc., a Member can learn this. If it's not a violation we'll let them know, which also lets them know that they need to thicken up their skin, or ignore that person, or whatever ... especially if it's okay for the Member to continue doing.
If it is a violation, they have every right to report it and expect the behavior to be stopped. That's at the core of our peace and purpose. It's what we're about. It's one of the things that distinguishes this community from all others, respectful interactions by all that take part here. There's no room for anything less, if we're to be true to our mission, and of course we are.
It's been an interesting 15 years. It's not always been the way it is now, smoother and easier. It was way hard in days gone by. We grew to this place and i'm happy we're here. The entire community has matured and become accustomed to high expectations and standards, and we have no trouble living up to them. I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way.
It's not easy bringing so many people together from different backgrounds, experiences, etc., requiring all to get along respectfully. It's never been easy. The simple fact that all religions are welcome, housed under the same roof, and all have to be respectful to each other ... well ... i don't know a whole lot of places even trying this ... let alone actually doing it, as we have all of our years. That's just religion, but you could pick any one of our many diverse topics, and like energy might apply. It's not easy, but it's worth the effort in my opinion. It's what is needed if we are are to get to the next level ... being able to respect each other ... recognizing the wealth that comes from our differences ... instead of using them to further divide ourselves up, as is done in most places.
Managing this community ... jeez ... i could write a book ... it's much more than what appears on the surface.
A wonderful vantage point i've had all of these years, and i'm honored by it all.
A great experience for the most part.
Love You!
Destee