Black Poetry : We Decided to Meet on an Island, Part I

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by watzinaname, Apr 16, 2004.

  1. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    There he was
    laying in the sun
    in the midst of this island
    I could tell he was the one.
    We had never really met,
    but his aura was clear.
    So I laid down in front
    of him and told him I was here.
    He looked at me in slow motion.
    When our eyes met
    time was on eternal pause,
    in a moment I will never forget.
    My eyes became his
    and his became mine.
    In him I saw everything that mattered.
    In me he saw his lifeline.
    Skin, golden as honey
    glistening in the tropical rays.
    A smile that made me forget
    even the rainiest of days.
    We walked and we talked.
    Inebriated by him, by day's end.
    It was clear to both of us, this was
    more than a love felt for a friend.
    Spontaneously, we finally allowed
    ourselves to embrace,
    and in our arms we held each other,
    allowing our passion the space
    to flow to those secret places.
    The warm tingling sensation causing us
    to bite our lower lips and wince.
    Neither of us had felt this way
    since....
    Seems like forever.
    So now that we know....
    What will we do about it?
     
  2. Obscure

    Obscure Active Member MEMBER

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    nice drop.
    i liked the imagery that was created in this piece.
    it was simplistic. nevertheless a good read.
    vocab was basic but the use of diction seemed to fit into the mood of the poem well.
    ummm... overall good job nice narrative drop.

    WuN...
     
  3. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    very nice imagery posed
    peace
    Angel
     
  4. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this is a very romantic poem my sisters, yes looking forward to part 2 ...this is indeed a wondeful beginning
    Peace
    BlueWater:heart:
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hello there Obscure. To critique your critique, lol, my intention was to convey a feeling of elation and ease. So, if I did that for you, as a poet, that brings a smile to my face. I appreciate your response.
    Glad you liked the imagery mzblkangel, thanks for your support.
    Crept in there before I could see ya Blue. Yea, there is romance in a realization like that, thank you.
     
  6. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister this is tight!!!! Lovin it.
     
  7. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow...
    This blew me away for a minute... :sand:
    As I was reading this I had a yard long smile on my face :)
    the :luv: entwined in this scene was breath taking...waiting for pt 2...
     
  8. twision

    twision Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    WATZ!!!!!!!!!
    I love the way you write
    So glad you decided to grace us once again
    Your poems have such an image
    I feel like you can write about anything and make it tight
    This poem is just another reason why I think so!!!!!
    Keep doing your than girl
    I'm listening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    PEACE AND LOVE
    TWISION
     
  9. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yes,

    indeed, this was very nice, this floE was well :wink:
     
  10. j'hiah

    j'hiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ah man l can't wait for pt. 2..

    l felt the intimate adventure as l read it...

    awaiting,,
    jh.
     
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