Black People : we can disagree, without being disagreable

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Natinr, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. Natinr

    Natinr Banned MEMBER

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    healthy discussion at times demands that ones opinions ideology and faith will be chalenged at one time or another, and a spirit of sportsmanship is beneficial to the race in such matters.
    Folks don't get outta joint over a poker game or a chess match,
    being emotional in such circumstances would appear undignified
     
  2. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    purpose

    Hotep Natinr....

    It seems to me, that in healthy discussions, one's ideology does NOT HAVE to be challenged. While one may become 'challenged' with hearing anothers point of view based on their experiences, it comes down to HOW one expresses those views. Let me see if I can break this down a little.

    What begins as "healthy discussions" quickly end in debate where one's views are openly challenged. If I post something that I've been thinking about or experiencing and someone responds by TELLING me "what 's WRONG with my thinking, that is an open challenge to my beliefs. That same person can share thier views WITHOUT attacking mines. The difference will lie in THE WORDS chosen to express those views.

    ex.
    person A says: "I believe Reparations are due us based on....."
    person B says: "Your crazy. We will never get Reparations because....."

    The challenge here happened when person B labeled person A as "crazy". This was done with the use of the word "your".

    Put another way and one which could limit the challenge...
    person A..."I believe....."
    person B..."It is MY belief that we....."

    Now, person A may be challenged in the sense that they have heard another's view and allow room in thier own belief system to allow room for the possibility that they alter their own belief system and integrate this new information....therein lies the challenge.

    Now, emotions may arise this very moment for you because I have used an example from another and recent discussion here of which you and I were both part of. I only used that as an example, well, because it was a conversation that you and I were part of.
    In that "discussion", it appeared some folks agenda was to change the minds and beleifs of others. When that is the agenda, I don't believe there is a DISCUSSON happening anymore. It is a DEBATE. The purpose of DEBATE IS to 'win' an argument/discussion. In a DEBATE someone 'wins' and the other 'loses'. For me, the purpose of a DISCUSSION may vary. One may want to ask themselves when entering a discussion, what is their purpose for holding this discussion, what outcome are they seeking.
    One other thing, EMOTIONS or feelings WILL arise with THOUGHTS. They just go hand in hand for the most part. Even when we are not aware of 'feeling' anything in particular, subconsciously, we are likely to have SOME feeling about what we hear and/or think. The notion that "being emotional is undignified" is interesting to me. When I hear it, I think of our programming to deny our feeling state, to minimize it, to manage or control it. Of course, there are times when this is neccessary. That is one reason it is advocated that one not physically discipline a child when one is angry. If a child breaks a valuable item in the house, that first THOUGHT the parent is likely to have is..."THAT COST A LOT OF MONEY" and "I've told this child time and again to not play with the ball in the house". If they hit that child at that moment, they increase the chance of hurting the child in a way they had not intended.

    Bottom line and what I'm attempting to share here is: ...I sense it's not so much WHAT a person says that initiates the challenge, rather...HOW they say it. The WORDS they chose and the meaning behind those words for any given person.
    I have a sense that what you are attempting to highlight is the ....welll...then again...I'm not 100% certain of WHAT you are attempting to get at and, in a 'healthy discussion', it is up to me to seek clarity FIRST prior to responding....which I did not do.

    One other example comes to mind right now. It seemed to me that Destee attempted to engage in 'healthy discussion' with you regarding the SA and rape issue. You have yet to respond to her direct questions of you. She acknowledged and agreed with you then asked the questions of how you would proceed with addressing things as you felt they needed addressing. I'm still wondering the same thing. It leaves me thinking at this point, WHAT IS THE PURPOSE NATINR HAS FOR OPENING THE DISCUSSION:?: and futhermore, WHAT IS IT YOU ARE SEEKING IN THIS DISCUSSION:?:

    MY PURPOSE for entering this discussion:?: To share my views on the issue of what "healthy discussions", "emotionalism" in discussions has and continues to mean to me.

    Thanks for listening!

    M.E.

    :hearts2:
     
  3. Zulile

    Zulile Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree. The manner in which information is shared, conversations played out - the words used - indicate much as to the INTENT of the speaker.

    Good question, as Natinr's 'tone' and 'word choice' indicate (to me) some 'undignified emotion' sometimes outright 'disagreeable' too ;) - so again, for me, I'd like to understand the purpose of the post.
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Natinr ... like those before me, i too find this thread ... suspect ... in that you start many threads here, making outlandish, inciteful threats and statements, while refusing to answer any direct questions (of mine) regarding your comments ... yet you want to instruct us on the proper way to discuss?

    Help me understand this please.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. Natinr

    Natinr Banned MEMBER

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    I will just say

    there are 50 people wh have read the titles of todays posts and well......:qqb013:
     
  6. Natinr

    Natinr Banned MEMBER

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    Why is a plea for maturity outlandish or inciteful

    :SuN034:
     
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