Black Relationships : Was the club really the bar?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by KPITRL, Oct 9, 2014.

  1. KPITRL

    KPITRL Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I was just thinking, did we give the club a bum rap over the years, making it one of the worst places to meet someone? People like to say go to the gym, the library, the bookstore, etc..., but if you meet someone at one of these places who is deliberately trying to meet someone, nine times out of ten, that person will probably have more issues than the one you meet at a club. When I think back, I met just as many misfits outside the club, maybe worst. I remember when black people started calling the club the bar, giving it a cheap name. I think this came from white people, and I think we were trying to emulate them. When white people meant bar, they meant real bars, like small little spots where loose women hung out, where there was no room to dance, not like they could anyway. These were places where white guys would go to right off work looking for loose woman, similar to the places truck drivers would stop at, or similar to strip clubs... something else they practically tried to turn black night clubs into.

    It seems like we somewhere along the line let these places white people called bars, become synonyms with black dance clubs that most black singles go to on the weekends. Now I'm not trying to say the club was the perfect place, but I think we gave it a bigger taboo than it deserved back then, making it a place to look down on one another just for being there, and making it a place for people already in a relationship to chill and look down on others, or play games with people really trying to meet someone, or to cheat. However you did have that little crew who always stayed right at the bar in these clubs, and some of them may have been loose, but that didn't mean everybody in the club was there looking for a one-nighter, however that's the reputation these clubs had. I never met a girl in a club and had a one-nighter, and I don't know anyone who did. I'm not saying this kind of thing didn't happen in clubs, but I don't think it was really the norm. But everybody use to speak like it was. Even brothers I knew would say they were going to clubs looking for somebody to take home, knowing very well they were trying to find that special one. With all this in play, I guest the club scene really has become a bad spot to meet someone, because people come in with negativity from the start. And if it ain't negative, they will make it negative.

    It seems even-though we got this bar definition of a club from white people, white people when it came to them as a group, still distinguished between the bar and the club where they looked for that special someone. However that may have changed, because whatever they put out on us, always seem to boomerang back on them sooner or later.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2014
  2. KPITRL

    KPITRL Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The point I'm trying to make in this thread is, maybe black people been drinking the poison in these clubs too long, and I'm not talking about the drinks. I'm talking about the psychological poisoning that I don't see going to clubs where non-blacks go. This includes overseas especially. It seems like outside the U.S., a club is a club for the most part. Some clubs are designed to pick up a one-nighter where all a woman do is sit at a table watching guys buy something from the bar, and wait to be picked up for a fee (prostitution), while most other clubs play music, and singles party down, and perhaps meet that main one in the process, plain and simple...which seem to be the more traditional thing in every other country on the planet.

    So why do African-Americans carry this extra taboo for the typical nightclub as if every black club was a place to pick up prostitutes, or everybody is low down scum, while other cultures don't have that attitude with the majority of their clubs...however we're suppose to be the ones with all the rhythm. That's not adding up. Most are probably aware that there's been a conspiracy to destroy the black family, but you would have thought it started from the club scene. With all the brainwashing, it's most likely in the club scene by now, and has been for a long time.

    I became alarmed in the late 80's when my half-sister met a brother in church, married him 5 years later in the early 90's, to find out he had AIDS. Then to learn after they were married, that he was seen a few times going to undercover gay clubs. He succumbed to AIDS less than a year after they were married. Anytime it becomes that tough to find a spouse, even in church, were it can even be dangerous at that, alarm bells can't help but to go off in your head, especially when it hits you at home. I remember how mad she was that we, especially my older brothers couldn't detect he was gay. But a gay man is better at detecting if another man is gay, then straight brothers like us.

    If you can bump into someone with AIDS in church, then meeting someone in the library, the bookstore, the gym, or even volunteering doesn't mean your chances of meeting someone without serious issues is off the table. That situation with my half-sister automatically told me this was much deeper than the heterosexual nightclub.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2015
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    bar, club, hole in da wall, juke joint, hit house ... i had fun at 'em all ... :dance4:

    where ever you are ... have fun or leave ... is what i say

    yeah ... we gotta be careful no matter where were at ... be careful and have fun!

    thanks for sharing

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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