I thought my sister was handling things but it appears her life is falling apart at the seams. I really don't know what's going on with her. She never calls me except to borrow money or ask a favor. Her accounts of what is going on in her life just don't add up. Crisis after crisis. Last week she called and asked me to come and live with her. It seemed tempting since I have no family in the town where I am but this is the best place for me right now. Probably the only place where I can afford to live decently. I never liked the idea of living with someone in a place I cannot afford on my own because if they decide to get married or move somewhere else or by a boa constrictor for a pet why should the decisions someone else makes for their life disrupt mine? My father reminded me that I lived with my sister twice before and she treated me like dirt. He told me I am grown and can do what I want but he is not going to bail me out this time and he is not going to let my sister use me to get to his money like she did before. I recognize the temptation of being close to my nieces and nephew as a temptation not something to base an intelligent decision on. Inertia has always been on my side when people want me to do something I don't want to do. But two days later she calls me and is very upset. She asks me if she and her kids can come and stay with me cuz she doesn't get paid until the fifteenth and they will evict her on the fifteenth. ........s he tells me the charity people won't help her buy food for the kids. I can't let people live with me unless they go through the process of a background check and a credit check but she doesn't want to do that so she hangs the phone up in my face. Two days late she calls me from a friend's house wanting to borrow fifty dollars. I try to think of the most economical way to get the money to her since I don't have it in the bank and it would cost me twelve dollars to take a cab and then pay the fee for Western Union. Plus I am kind of tired of not knowing what's going on. She has a job. I don't. She is getting child support. I'm not. Plus she told our mother that she is working in the daytime but told our aunt that she is working at night leaving her kids alone. So I asked her what happened to her job. She tells me off. Tells me I insulted her and am not being fair and hangs the phone up in my face. I know when I've struck a nerve. Okay, we went through this before when I lived with her. I was paying half the phone bill so when they turned it off I called to find out what's going on. Turns out she and her husband had not paid anything on the phone bill since I had been there. When I ask her about this she gets mad. "You called MY phone company?" Next thing I know I'm calling the police from a neighbors house because she has locked me out of the house. I realize my sister has serious emotional problems. The doctors have her on medication for both manic and depression and a sleeping pill. But it's hard to think of her as the innocent victim of volatile emotions. I have forgiven her for a lot of things but I can never quite forget that she once bragged to be about being a good liar. And I cannot be shelling out bank for her basic needs and then be told that how she spends her own money is none of my business because she is grown, etc. I am her only family now that her husband has left her for another woman and our mother has decided she can do nothing but pray. My sister has treated other people so bad and she and her husband have been so careless with their money, writing bad checks and not paying their bills that now she has run out of fools and nobody wants to help her. A Sunday school teacher once told us the opposite of love is not hatred. The opposite of love is indifference. That leaves me in a state of cognitive dissonance because I love my sister and don’t want to be indifferent towards her yet I don't want to be co-dependant to a problem that really isn't my problem. My biggest fear is that they will take her kids away from her and I know that will push her over the edge. A few months ago I had a vivid dream of kids staying with a suicidal maniac. I can't even talk honestly about what I feel and think with her because she would be devastated and talk about killing herself. I'm not sitting here pulling my hair out over this but I think about it everyday so I know it is having some effect on me. Thanks for your support and patience. If this were a boyfriend, some man who was doing me wrong I’d know to leave his @$$ alone and not be dumping on other people about it. But family relationships are not so easily dispensed with.