Black Relationships : Was I being outta line or was he?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by intolerant, Jan 19, 2012.

  1. intolerant

    intolerant Active Member MEMBER

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    I was talking to a guy and he said he was at work, and that he had to work overtime, so I was like ok. Well time when on, and the night passed, and I got a text this morning, saying that he is sorry that he did not get back to me and that his phone had died. He called me this morning and we talked and I told him how I felt and how I wish he had texted me last night to at least let me know he was alright, and he responded back, saying "Why you worried about me, when I told you I was at work?" And that was when all hell broke loose, basically and I told him that you make it like there is more that was going on than what you're willing to share with me, and he flew off the handle, hung up in my face basically. I told him that I am sorry for our misunderstanding and that we are still learning each other. I was calm about it... do you feel I that he deserve me telling him sorry and that he was out of line or do you think I was in the wrong?
     
  2. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Actually, this all sounds like some unnecessary drama. In this economy, you know when they tell you to stay, you cant say no. If he is a dawg, it will be revealed soon enough

    .
     
  3. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Do you feel like he owes you an apology? Maybe it is something that got blown out of proportion, maybe it isn't. I don't know his background and I don't know yours. There are a lot of things that can happen in a relationship that can cause a response like this. I am not sure why he got so upset, but maybe something has happened in his past that made him react like this. Do you constantly ask him where he is and what he is doing all the time? One thing I do know for sure, if you tell someone something that you don't like and they continue to do it, and show no sign of trying to understand or respect where you are coming from, then it is best to let it go. That goes for both you and him. If you feel like he should apologize then let him know why. It is all about how he made you feel at that moment, 'cause I know as a woman, if we got some unresolved feelings about something, it can be hard for us to let it go lol! It can linger and cause damage later on, so search yourself and see if you need an apology to move on.
     
  4. intolerant

    intolerant Active Member MEMBER

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    no i never ask him where he is. and we barely talked that long. he said he would call me back after he got off work and he didnt so i was tellin him how that made me feel and that was when he started yelling and then hung the phone up.
     
  5. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If he is telling you the truth then you were in the wrong.

    Far as that is concerned, I think that you should have given him

    The benefit of the doubt.

    He apologized for not calling you--and you suggested that he was creeping.

    Really, if he doesn't contact you again--he's not doing an error.

    I'd tread more lightly were I you.

    (Especially since you shouldn't admit this much to him.)

    --

    Question: How would you like to be at work, struggle to call someone, finally contact them in the morning and be accused of cheating? Yup. That's what happened to him: if he's honest (according to your story).
     
  6. intolerant

    intolerant Active Member MEMBER

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    i didnt say or was thinking in terms of cheating. it's just funny how he flies off the handle, over something small and trivial like that. a big reaction to me, really says that there is probably more to it than what he is letting on.
     
  7. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You might be right, I assumed the same thing but.....you can never be sure, so if it is true, it will come to the light. The big issue in my opinion is not being able to communicate something to him that makes you upset without him flying off the handle. If you don't mind me asking, does he do this often? Does he have a problem with calling you back?
     
  8. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh--you made it seem like you suspected creeping. I feel like that might be his impression to--putting two and two together.

    Personally, as a man, I can sympathize with him. Being accused of lying or cheating in short time doesn't say much about my partner's securities or confidence in me.

    Hotep!
     
  9. MimiBelle

    MimiBelle Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I wondered the same. I sense someone with a 'track record' and I think...that I understand the OP's thead.
    Should he apologize? Can't say. I don't actually know the situation or your relationship history. Just a shot in the dark, but the situation appears similar to what other women tend to go through at times....

    I've been there. When a woman is continuously being disappointed? Before long...the smallest instance of this 'behavior' can completely set you off.
    Such as...a single missed phone call....
    *laugh*
    That's what I got out of it, anyway.

    So...is it one of 'those' situations...OP? Similar to...kinda?
    I get the whole 'is there something you're not telling me' comment, along these lines. It's not an issue of cheating, I see.

    Ah, 'relationships'.
    No, you hardly ever fight about what you're actually fighting about....*laugh*

    I understand. From my end, it all stems from one (the only) pet-peeve: Don't tell me that you're going to do something and NOT do it. When a man can't be trusted to follow through...when he's constantly doing the opposite of what he knows he's supposed to.
     
  10. intolerant

    intolerant Active Member MEMBER

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    see you assume thats what it was, so i wonder really what that says about you.
     
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