Black Relationships : VOLUPTUOUS AFRICAN WOMAN, DO YOU LOVE THYSELF?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Isaiah, Nov 18, 2004.

  1. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I tuned in kinda late on the VIBE awards the other night... I don't watch t.v. except to check out the ballgames and documentaries on PBS... I came across the awards while scanning the channnels... They were honoring the best video sista in those scandalous and infamous little short soft porn joints we all love to hate. The winner of the award was a sista by the name of Ki Toy, or something like that, and she was mad chocolate gorgeous, and brickhouse doesn't even begin to describe her voluptuousness...

    Anyway, it started me to wondering just HOW sistas feel about their own voluptuousness, for lack of a better expression... I know how I, as an African man feel about it, but I wonder, having dealt with the typical well-built sister over the years, how BLACK WOMEN actually feel about their endowments... Growing up, my mother was always counseling my sisters to wear girdles and nonsense, and not to wear their clothes too tight, as they were, all of them, well put together... I actually think, as I look back on that, my mother was teaching them to be TOO self-conscious of their African physiognomy, as well as teaching them unconsciously, to hate their bodies.

    I think a whole lotta African American mothers instilled this kind of thing in their daughters, though unknowing the profound damage they were doing to the girls psyches... I think a lot of the thinking of Black women concerning their daughters, was to protect them from the crackas who were notorious for attempting to exploit African women... Unfortunately, this teaching had a price, and the price was a certain kind of self-loathing some sisters have about their bodies... My question to sisters on an intellectual level is, do you truly believe your bodies are beautiful? And do you believe African men think of your bodies as beautiful?

    I say this knowing that the internal reigns supreme over the physical, but as they are ONE, and one does not exist without the other, they are the same(smile!) So don't Go there...(smile!) If you choose to answer this question, attempt to answer it honestly, as it might serve to educate some brothers out here...

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  2. 1hotvirgowoman

    1hotvirgowoman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Isaiah, Thank You Brotha' for making this thread!. I wake up everyday, thankful for being born a Black Woman.I started developing @ the age of 13. My hips seemed to be all over tha' place. My Mom didn't make matters any better, as she too believed in them Dang Girdles!!!(I don't wear them to this day!). Since I was a solid lil'(size 12) chick, she would always tell me" you too chuncky to be wearing that" or one time when I wanted to try out for Gymnastics "That's for skinny people, you kinda too solid for that". Now mind you, my Mom was no size 14- she was a size 26, but yet she had tha' audacity to tell ME that I was too big!. Any ways, as I grew up, I realized on my own that I didn't need to be skinny, I just needed to be in Shape. So, faithfully, I woke up @ 6:00am before School to excercise. It did pay off- I developed a six Pack(for reals) and defined calves.

    :time: Now,@ 22, I'm still short (5'6), curvy and thick but Dammit- I'm proud of it! and Hella Proud to be a Black Woman!!!!!!
    I totally appreciate my Black Womans' Body. Hips, dips, and all that ****!


    Yes, Black is Beautiful, but then, y'all already knew that!!
     
  3. blackeyes

    blackeyes Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I used to be self conscious about my body, thanks to my granny and aunts.
    Most of the women and girls I grew up around were flat except my moma.I used to wear baggy jeans and make sure my book bag hung low enough to cover up my butt. I guess they thought you'd be protected from sexual advances/rape or whatever by making us feel like we had to cover up or hide our body and I am sure they were alittle jealous.
     
  4. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I had a good friend in college who once told me that her grandmother adviced her: "cover up that pretty hair before you get pulled into the bushes"! Needless to say at the time her grandmother was growing up (when black women were raped & assaulted without consequence), this was indeed sound advice. I think many mothers & grandmothers who grew up during this time did indeed try to protect their daughters by trying to "hide" their bodies or make them less attractive. The unfortunate side effect of this is that many black women developed a complex about their appearance, as brother Isaiah already identified. This was unfortunate because by & large black woman are the most beautiful in the world, and their voluptuousness is a considerable factor in the beauty!
     
  5. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good God all Mighty

    I know this post is supposed to highlight women opinions and comments but I could not hold back my thoughts. As much as I love my sisters, I especially have and affinity for my sister that I like to say have a little "health" on them. There is nothing on God's green Earth more beautiful than a voluptuous black woman. As far as covering up I especially find a women that a modestly dressed rather than exposed more attactive. A woman doesn't have to be "hoochie" to be sexy and beautiful. Voluptuous women give the best hugs, seem to be more joyful and pleasant and always have a good attitude. I know those are broad statements and may be bordering on being stereotypical but I feel those are good labels to have. I think now days the concern is less about covering up than the longer term effect of carrier extra weight as we get older. Our sisters have been developing diabetes and other health issues. Diet and excersize are some keys to longevity. I always say a person should workout and diet to feel good rather than to become tiny. So ladies I know many of you aspire to have lean, atheletic bodies but feeling good physically and emotionally and accepting who you are is more important than being a size 0.


    Peace & Love

    Radical Faith
     
  6. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Brother Radical, Feel ya strong!(smile!)

    I don't have issues with brother's posting their love for sisters, nor showing it in full effect on this thread... Show ya right! I do, however, want some sisters to feel free to openly and honestly discuss this particular subject about how they feel about their body types... It falls, ultimately, into the category of images of beauty, and how sisters either fit into that category, or how they've fitted themselves into their own reconstructed categories...

    In other words, I am constantly hearing my sisters upset about the beauty standards of the larger society excluding their images... True dat! But when do we begin to create our own standards of what is beautiful? I know brothers are going to vouch verbally for the fact that sisters are damned good looking, but that seems not to be good enough for sisters... I want to know from them why? Why does this continue to be an issue, and what can be done about it? If sisters remain silent about that, then are we to read their minds??? Well, not a lot will be addressed in that way... i am wanting African women to tell brothers what is their prescription for solving this issue...

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  7. Antar

    Antar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Peace..

    1Respek.
    Thanks brotha Isaiah for starting this thread for the sistas, i think it's real healthy that they can speak and share they thoughts on this issue. I was mostly raised by my mother and i got a lot of love and respect for females, period. I'm real attracted to voluptuous black sistas, but i try not to use looks as a reason to associate with them. I try to keep it on a spiritual level if my plans are physical, and i try to connect with they mental wheneva. Don't let me get on my slow love life. :)

    Yo, i just wanted to say to ALL the sistas. I'm proud of you and how you carry yourself. I'm proud of the way you appreciate what the Almighty has blessed you with.

    To all my Queens, keep doing yo' thing...please encourage and educate your lil sistas an' ya' mamas the right way, respectably.

    To all my Hoochies an Hos, buck dem fools that don't feel you! Trust in God, be proud of what he gives you, what you recieve...good or bad Remember that when light moves thru a prism it's spectrum is many colors. Always shine and always seek the Devine...

    One Love, One Thug
     
  8. 1hotvirgowoman

    1hotvirgowoman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :welldone: That was a very positive message Antar- right on down to the 'Hookies' an H*'s'!.
     
  9. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    How come a thread such as this has to take on the flavor of an "I Love Voloptuos sisters" vibe? I am not asking brothers to drop compliments on sisters in this thread, nor for sisters to compliment themselves... I am asking for a discussion about the Black woman's self-image, actually...

    Hopefully, we can all stick to our experiences and feelings on this topic... For a decade and a half I dealt with a voluptuous sister... she's the mother of 3 of my 4 children, all of whom are girls, all of whom carry her voluptuous gene, or something... My girls are fine, but it was a major struggle, because my ex had issues about her height, her weight, and her complexion... Perfectly sculpted and elegant woman who got messed up mentally by her parents... After awhile I had to step off... No matter how much I supported and complimented, and pampered, and held, and kissed and cuddled...sister was miserable... Anyone could say something to trigger her childhood issues, and I'd be there stuck, trying to help her pick up the pieces... I got tired of that, and left...

    At some point she had to help herself get over her own complexes, and doubts about her beauty... I think sisters generally have to come to terms with themselves on issues such as these... That is why I've asked the questions, and shared my experience in this thread... Can we stick to that, or is this thing just too deep???(smile!)

    Peace!
    isaiah
     
  10. 1hotvirgowoman

    1hotvirgowoman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Isaiah, I'm not too clear on what you wanted to know about. One of your questions was asking about how we, Sista's, feel about our body image. My reply was , I have a healthy view of my image- I love my image. Did I answer your question in error?.
     
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