Verbal or Physical Abuse of Kids in Public

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by vj57, May 23, 2004.

  1. vj57

    vj57 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I just get so upset when small children, especially those who are under five, are cursed at and/or slapped around in public by their parents. And this is a negative trait that I've seen mainly in black people. (And other people do it, too, since I've seen white people go off on their kids, but in most cases, it has been us folks).

    This is a generational problem. Perhaps the parent was treated the same way.

    I wish this would stop because it's embarrassing to the kids and it will continue on when they become parents.

    Children have so much to deal with today in this loveless world. And it's sad when those who are responsible for them being here do not know how to discipline them properly.

    I do believe in disciplining but would handle it at home. And rarely have my kids been problems in public. That certain look coming from me was an indication that "you better stop it now".

    Do you intervene when parents cuss their kids out? I give a look of displeasure to the parent, and if they are abusing the child, I will say something.
     
  2. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I give a look of tottal disgust. One time in NYC a mother turned to slap her kid for simply asking to go to a fast food joint. She raised her hand and saw an angry 6 foot brother ice grilling her and turn into that restaurant sooooo fast. She kept looking out to see when I passed.

    Another time I was on the subway and a kid was slumping on the bench on the opposite platform. The mother grabbed his head and thrust it back so he would sit straight and his head hit the concrete wall (not too hard though). I gave a long stare and was about to go over there....she cut it out.

    In both cases they were black. Black people need to take preventative measures instead of waiting for the kid to act up and beating them (the easy way out). My mother taught us from day one NEVER EVER embarass her in public. One look or snapping at us did it. We rarely had to be snapped at in public we knew we would be in trouble at home.....no we didnt get the daylight whipped out of us either. You aint gotta be the most violent to get kids attention.

    I think these parents need to realize they look stupid doing that. They need to just drop what they are doing and take the kid home. That will scare the hell out the kid then they get punished on top of it. I remember an argument where black parents were talking about enjoying embarssing their kids and trading stories (boasting) on how they beat their kid anywhere and carry beating implements with them. *SMH* anyone can make a child--only some have the skills to parent. Some dont deserve kids at all and only have them as a means to controll a little peice of the world and the people in it. Power tripping is definitely generational.

    In the black community, the nastiness of the grandparents is visited on the grandkids. Poor treatment rarely cycles back to the source.
     
  3. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is a reason why I do not have children because I would throw a kid against the wall if it were acting all stank in public. I am so glad I do not have to deal with that BS.
     
  4. vj57

    vj57 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Kids learn by example. If the parent is violent, more likely the kid will be violent.

    If one does not want to have kids, that's their choice. But it's not the kids that are the problem, the parents are.

    And the reactions that kids have in public, we ALL "be there done that". That's why my mother would swat my behind real good.

    I didn't have that problem with my children in public because they were corrected at home. I learned to be positive in handling my kids. Yelling and screaming at them will not solve anything.

    It hurts me that I have relatives who cuss at their kids worst than a drunk sailor. My nephew cusses at his son so bad that I had to tell him to SHUT UP. And they also have a one year old and that child is screamed and cussed at.

    If this is all the children get, they will pass it on.

    I do believe that women do it because they are angry. Many black women have been rejected by baby's daddy and they take their anger out on the kids.

    These dumb parenting classes don't help at all. They teach that the child is in control. I don't go for "time out", as my mother would say, it's "knock out". These classes teach the parents to let Johnny have his way and let him scream at the malls.

    If you don't know how to control your anger, don't have kids.
     
  5. vj57

    vj57 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    In the black community, the nastiness of the grandparents is visited on the grandkids. Poor treatment rarely cycles back to the source.[/QUOTE

    And some kids did have some nasty grandparents. I'm thankful that my kids' grandparents were not nasty. My mother would give you that look and you would straighten up right away.

    I've blown up sometimes with the kids, but I had to apologize for being so harsh. And when they got older and did wrong, they had privileges taken away. Tell a teenager they cannot go to the movies or use the car and stick to it. They will straighten up next time because we know how much teens love to drive.

    My kids never bothered with merchandise in the stores. They were taught at home. If people would do this, then they don't have to deal with unruly children out in public. Also, they sat properly and ate their meals at restaurants with no problems. People would comment about their behavior, especially white folks. Well, most of the time we see how unruly white kids are and their parents let them rule the roost.

    But to slam a child real hard in public is unacceptable. If I had my kids under control and other parents did to, today's parents can do the same.

    But they had bad parents as examples, so we cannot expect anything better.
     
  6. Sekhemu

    Sekhemu Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Really? hmmmmmmmmmm
     
  7. vj57

    vj57 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sekhemu, do you have something to add?
     
  8. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It's sad

    but it's true. I went to Chicago one summer, and this woman hauled off and slapped the mess out of this young boy no more than 5 who was her nephew I might add, in a public restaurant. When she lQQked up and saw my lQQk, and the lQQk of all the people in the restaurant, she soon apoligized to the child.

    I hate to see parents cursing out children of any age, but if their parents did it to them, How are they suppose to know better? My husband's mother curses, her father curses, and naturally he curses. My husband and I quickly got an understanding when we had children that no cursing was allowed in our house. My parents didn't curse me, and I was going to continue their gr8 teachings in my house. I have never cursed my kids not because I'm Miss Goody Two Shoes, but because God hears and sees all and I want him to see me talking right in front of them and others as well.

    If you're grown cursing around other grown folks, do ya thing. Just don't help to poison the minds of our youth by showing them our ugly bad habbits.
    We all should watch what we say and what we do.
     
  9. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I still would slam them bad rugrats. I swear they are hear to makes us miserable then replace us.

    Joke.
     
  10. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I really love other people kids not my own. Kids are so beautiful when you do not have to deal with 24 hours a day. LEt give you an example:

    I was playing my ex-niece in law in Barbados, Her name is Delana. Delana would polietly pick up something and throw it on the ground and this went on for about 4 hours until I realized I was being played.

    At that moment I realized I was not Fraternal nor a Father because the next Idea in my head was to get me some get back, lol.

    But seriously, I think kids should be discplined in public if need be.

    (I know yall say I am crazy so go ahead and let it out)
     
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